But we all understand why her attitude toward you is quite cold.
I'm making a very easy dinner tonight.
Monkey chow again, huh?
I'm trying to teach myself spanish.
The only phrase you will find useful is "Soy un idiota" (I am an idiot).
There are too many illegal immigrants in my city.
Well bugger off back to cartoon Llama land then.
My shoelace is undone.
and it will take you 5 years or the help of a two year old to retie it
my elbow still hurts
See the "Is Masturbation Evil?" thread. You might find some comfort there.
I'm making dinner for one again.
if you had a real personality and weren't uglier than sin, you wouldn't have to.
I think i'm getting old
You are. And used up, tired, slow, and dull to boot. Downhill all the way.
My dog and I just shared some roast beef.
Ran out of Alpo for the two of you?
There's a guy in town who opens up his house to everyone to see his Christmas things.
And I bet you were you first in line to admire his balls.
I should be in bed now.
Don't tell me that the milk and cookie nurse is late again.
I, on the other hand, have just risen.
Don't forget to close the coffin, else it will be full of spiders again.
I have not slept tonight - wrote all night long and will keep at it for a few more hours.
Make sure to take your arthritis pills
I need to wake up at 6:00am tomorrow
You'll have to tell your last punter to hurry.
I've just decorated my Christmas tree.
Cool. I've never seen anyone use deer intestines as stringers before.
I have a head cold.
Understandable if you keep going to the fridge for another bottle.
Golf Club meeting tinight.
and you have the same IQ as a golf club. A wedge would be my guess.
almost slept in today
Finish your sentence. You almost slept in dog crap today.
I have just joined a new writers group.
Did they make you the official "pencil sharpener?"
I'm going to make a list of New Year's Resolutions.
As big a mess as you are, you're going to need a lot of sharpened pencils to make a complete list.
I'm thinking about buying a new razor.
