Look in the mirror... with all that makeup you might as well be a clown.
I am going on a soup diet.
Gonna start with your favorite triple fudge brownie soup tubby?
I like the TV show "Medium".
christmas shopping catalogs are in the mail again
lots of snow back home
At least that's what they're telling you so you don't come back.
I got my mother a water filter for Christmas.
Hope you took the time to cross your name off and put hers in on the tag since she gave it to you last year...sorry collecting tin cans didn't net you enough to buy even new wrapping paper for it.
I hear my potato salad calling from the refrigerator.
Yeah, it's calling "Faaaat aaaasss!"
I'm ready for the weekend.
which in your case is like the rest of the week, laying on the sofa eating junk food and swigging down beer.
I feel bad my soup diet failed so fast.
Perhaps if you hadn't crumbled chocolate chip cookies and doritos into a bowl of jello and called it soup it would have worked.
I'm wearing a green shirt today.
That's mold.
It seems I need to fetch the vacuum cleaner out and run it over the carpet.
this time try turning it on. That's if the rust from disuse hasn't stopped it.
Saturday's comming and no college football
Guess you'll just have to scratch your crotch without visual aids.
Strange call the other night from a former student.
You're being named in another paternity suit?
I finally finished my work and I feel exhausted.
Oh yes, scratching your nose for yourself must wear you out something awful.
Im trying to decide whether to stay in this evening or go to the movies with my cousin.
Decisions, decisions, go watch your other cousin with your cousin, King Kong has arrived.
Maybe I'll go to the local for a gill or two this evening.
and a few scales would look nice too.
Something I bought from ebay arrived today.
I was wondering who would pay $6000.00 for a pair of Richard Simmons' used sweatpants.
Dell finally fixed my computer.
That is a pity.
Can't you try and break it again, I'll help you?
Breaking things is about all you're good at.
My dog is being a terrible pest.
As usual you screwed up the game.
I'm going hiking in the Phoenix Mountains tomorrow.
That's all you are good for is breaking things. Mostly cameras and mirrors when you look in them.
Got a care package from my wife today
