That's not what your wife said.
My White Sox are up 2 games to none against Boston.
my white sox are on the line next to the blue ones but it's hardly worth talking about
I'm doing skype with my son in Paris
Why do you keep making up these delusional tails when everyone knows you do nothing, ever.
I am looking forward to tomorrow nights baseball game.
Why, do you usually find loads of empty beer cans after a game? And I bet you guzzle down what little is left in some of the cans.
I had a very tiring shopping trip today.
Don't you mean shoplifting?
My neighbor brought over a lemon meringue pie earlier.
Too bad she just showed it to you, and then took it home again. After looking at your hips, she realized you didn't need it.
I bought a delicious apple walnut pie today.
because you don't have your own stove in the gutter where you live.
time to go for another stroll.
Do they force you out of your cell to walk around the exercise yard several times a day?
I am getting a flu shot this year.
No need to waste tax payer dollars at the free clinic for you... no virus or illness of any sort stands a chance on your filthy and rancid body.
The electric bill has arrived.
That's probably the highlight of your day since no one else ever writes to you.
I am hoping for a lot of rain.
so lots or mosquitoes can come out and you will be with your own intelligence.
speaking of, one of your reletives just bit me.
You deserved it.
I'm planning a big project.
selecting which redneck baseball hat to wear is a challenge for you.
I need a bigger computer
Phallic symbol or Napolean Complex?
I am drinking liquid peanut butter.
Hey bonehead...that's just the oil drifting at the top of the lard jar.
I am so happy that Boston is out of contention for the World Series this year.
Still miffed at them because they booted you out of Fenway Park for indecent exposure?
I need to go shopping for eyeglasses today.
Yes, the sooner you get them the better.
Ive been meaning to ask you what the hell you are wearing for a long time now.
I need to get dressed.
Thank you!
I'm feeling benevolent tonight.
So that's your new way of justifying stealing from the Church poor box.
The mail is still not here, and it's well past 2.
The postman must have forgotten his gas-mask.
I can't find my corkscrew.
