And feeling none of the pain of that miserable life of yours.
I'm starting to work out again.
Which in your case means lifting your lazy butt out of bed at least 5 times a day.
It's the time of the year to start Scouting.
Can't you get arrested for that? (loitering within tent)
I've just had fish stew.
That explains your baited breath.
I prefer Splenda to saccharine.
Any sweetener would improve you!
I saw a pig flying down the valley earlier on.
You mean you caught sight of your reflection in a mirror?
I love this thread.
That's because you think the insults are actually compliments
My 2 front tires shredded today
Cheer up ... you can probably get another shopping cart around the corner.
I think I'll knock off early today.
Marking time to masturbation again, huh?
We should have a party.
We meaning you, your left hand, and your shriveled up excuse for a penis, right?
Drinking during the day can give one perspective.
Tell that to the night shift.
Looks like we got another sot to join the club, wonder if he drinks bud?
In your case, that would be the view one gets when lying in a gutter.
I need a brake job.
Yes, we can see your retarded state!
I need a guiness.
And just what world record do you think you could break?
My dog slept all day
You must lead a real whiz-bang exciting life.
Waking up at noon is good for the soul.
That's because you stay sober in the morning. Your soul will, no doubt, be 2 sheets the wind by 1 PM
My dog just got up
He's as lazy as you are.
I bought a new watch.
Now you can see how late you are.
I've got to call a B and B in Dover.
You need to stop making those silly sophomoric prank calls and get back to work!
Stress is getting to me!
Stress from pressing the buttons on your remote all day?
I am going for a walk.
