Now you can go back to watching the cartoons alone, but who will get you your potato chips and soda pops?.
Lately the water here has seemed rather off tasting.
That's rubbing alcohol you've been drinking, not whiskey, you ninny! No wonder the water taste's 'off'!
I've got lots of business work to do.
Oh? I didn't know playing with rubberbands constituted business or work.
It's the time of year to start getting my wood pile ready for the winter fires in the old fireplace.
This time don't try cutting down your neighbor's trees for your woodpile, that's why you spent last winter in jail.
I want to redecorate my house.
Finally changing 70's decor?
I got my hair cut yesterday
You looked better with it covering your face.
I am always late.
Leaving you free to get back on the streets.
I'm cooking beef curry for 3 visitors tonight.
Curly, Larry and Mo are coming over?
I am going to get some breakfast now
Splurge on Purina today; you're worth it.
80 degrees and 80% humidity at 8 am CDT in Deep-In-The-Hearta today.
So you'll look normal today as you're always drenched in sweat from carrying around all that excess weight!
First full day of school for the kids.
Have you made it to the second grade yet?
I have to call the insurance company today.
Hoping to avoid your premiums going up after your drunk driving accident? I'd say you've got a snowball's chance it hell - Good luck!
Must get rid of my parents' junk from yard sale!
You mean all your junk that you store at your parent's place?
I am in the process of preparing dinner
Shouldn't you call the fire department first?
Tonight I plan on dining out.
Going to scrounge the park wastebaskets for the afternoon discards?
Today work was so relaxed and unpressured.
Swinging on a hammock all day usually is.
The bank statement arrived today.
"Blank" statement is a bettor descriptor, you pauper.
It's been raining all week here.
That's not rain you ninny, it's the tub water you left running upstairs.
Often times I feel positively regal.
That's because, most of the time, you are a royal pain in the ass.
I like to howl at the moon.
I just wish you wouldn't insist on doing it nude in the town square.
My brother sent me a recipe for a new veggie dip.
