One of the pluses about being a couch potato, you die with nice treads.
I've just had a visit from a boring old schoolmate.
Talking with yourself again, eh?
My hamster seems ill.
That is what happens when you give your hamster a hamster for dinner
My big toe feels really happy at the moment
You might want to get some help for this toe infatuation you have.
I'm feeling much better today than I was yesterday.
Your drug dealer finally showed up?
I haven't heard the news today.
The news is: You're a Schmuck.
I'm painting my house.
Don't bother. The garbage and rotten eggs your neighbours throw at it will soon render it as disgusting as before.
I'm sipping a malibu and pineapple juice.
That's the first time you've sipped anything in your life you usually neck it, you must have bought it yourself.
I'm just going for a stroll in the evening sun.
Thought you had to stay in doors until it went dark.
I need a new wallet
Why? You have nothing to put in it.
I'm having a hard time finishing my work today.
What! You cleaned the cell already?
I enjoyed the movie.
I figured that you would like it. It was geared to people with the mentality of a snail.
What's for dinner?
The usual--whatever you can find in the dumpster. Happy hunting.
I feel sort of strange.
Well you look and sound even stranger.
I feel sorry for you kid.
Projection, that's called.
I had ginger and leek sausages today.
Well you resemble an old banger
I had a cucumber sandwich and some crispy celery.
You eat like a hamster, and your brain is probably the same size as theirs.
I think I'll make an omlette for dinner.
Oh that's hysterical, the idea of you thinking! And remember to turn the heat on under the pan this time.
There's a rumor that we will be getting a new cable television provider.
So that's headline news where you are.
I'm going to read in bed.
Did you buy yourself some new comic books?
I finally got my work finished.
