Just your heartbeat warning of imminent collapse.
I'm going to cut up some French beans to have with the lamb.
Try to use a lighter hand with the chopping, last time you smashed right through your kitchen countertop with those dainty paws of yours.
I woke up with a headache.
Well waking up next to you, would give anyone a headache!
I woke up with a woman, I didn't really know beside me this morning.
That's because you were so drunk when you got home, you mistakenly slept in your neighbor's house.
I want to get a new camera.
Self taking pics again uh? Another knackered lense!
Have you any naked shots left of yourself?
Awww...are you tired of peeping through the bathroom keyhole to see your sister naked, you little pervert.
I have to go shut off my sprinkler.
You mean you took another shower?
Think I'll find myself a space saving all in one system of neutrality.
It looks like you found one and used it on your avatar.
I have a stiff neck.
Try to get the Cialis all the way down next time.
Who's going to watch baseball this afternoon?
Well, no one in their right mind would watch it with you.
My refrigerator is doing strange things.
Move away and tell it not to touch you again, if that'll make you fell better! Better yet, see a head shrinker.
I have a summer cold.
That's what you get for putting wet change in you pocket, stay out the bars.
I love music.
Music despises you. I wonder why.
How about those Red Sox!
Are you sure you've spelled that right? If not see a doctor and he might give you a cream for them.
I'm a cricket fan.
Ugh, crickets! Disgusting noisy bugs. Do you eat them as well?! :wink:
I have insane insomnia!
Do you sleepwalk and do butter sculpture too?
I made some awesome smoked pork loin tonight.
Just threw gasoline around the kitchen and lit a match?
I find Mondays difficult.
Try calling them Sundays and acting accordingly.
I'm wasting time doing too many word games.
Being able to waste time is the only thing you're really good at.
Work was a breeze today.
I guess that explains why you're standing there in boxer shorts.
Someone brought me honey.
