Is he, like, your twin brother?
I'm too tired to sleep.
Truth is, you wet your bed again and you don't have another clean sheet.
I wouldn't want to sleep in that mess either.
I was just looking at some photos.
You know you can get arrested for owning that type of photo you pervert.
I'm going to make chilli for dinner.
It's amazing how many ways you can cook dead squirrel.
I am having company this week.
Make sure you hide the booze and drugs.
The rain's stopped I think I'll go for a walk.
I hope they evacuate the streets before you set out.
Every day is a new beginning.
That's because your syphilitic dementia has erased your memory.
I'm going to try to stay off my computer today.
Yes, humping a computer is disgraceful.
The time is right.
You bet it's right, life for rape and murder is what you deserve you swine.
Computer off and on with tele.
"Off" mode in your case means a saner planet.
I'm trying to reinvent myself.
You are not doing a very good job of it
I am relaxed today
The anti-depressant is apparently working.
God is in the details.
You seem to be the one detail He overlooked. Pity.
I'm having a diet Coke.
Didn't know cocaine came in the diet variety.
I'm glad I don't have to go to work tomorrow.
You act as if tomorrow is an unusual day for you ... you bum.
Taught one of the little Ticos to swim today.
I'm notifying the child-protection authorities.
My pet turtle took a poop today.
It sounds like this is the most intimate relationship you've ever had.
I need to make more money.
Time to start sucking **** for crack again, eh?
Wow, that was an extremely offensive one, wasn't it.
Nah, I've given that up. But I'll miss you. You were always one of my best customers.
I love the summer.
The summer hates you.
Toilet paper is so expensive these days.
