The METS? I guess you and all the other people with IQs less than your shoe size have to have a team too...
I like going without underwear from time to time.
Giving the underwear its yearly wash?
I have no underwear on now.
Is that your mating call?
I don't know what to wear today.
The ones marked" Tuesday", Firefly.
It's time for a cold beer.
Gotta wash that taste out of your mouth after another tough day on the streetcorner, eh?
I have a bad sunburn.
Lazy pigs at least have the sense to lie in mud.
I am applying for a job today.
You'll never get past the urine sample.
I gotta get out of the office more often.
Cleaning the toilet doesn't offer you alot of social opportunities, does it?
I left my CV at home...
That's what happens when you write it on the inside of a matchbook.
I need to get my car washed.
That's your car? I thought you had a massive accident at your toilet break.
My exam timetable is a hell load.
Cramming for those basket-weaving tests must be hell on your fingers.
I need more closet space.
The current closet not big enough for your slowly fattening body?
I want to go home
Well, if you stay out of trouble, you should be up for parole soon.
Today I really need to do my laundry.
Be sure to pretreat the knee areas on your pants .... cause you just know they're filthy.
I was bitten by a spider the other day.
Were you in your Miss Muffet drag outfit at the time?
I hope we get some rain today.
Time for your monthly shower?
I'm wearing a tie I bought in England.
I'm surprised you got it through customs after being deported.
I gave a pregnant mom the finger today.
How far was she dilated?
It has coffee stains on it. .... my tie I mean.
You don't have to lie to us. We know the men's room is out of toilet paper.
I'm breaking the dress code at work today.
You're breaking my glasses also.
I'm really not a mean person.
