Then why the blood stains on your tie?
I'm having ribs for lunch today.
Whose? Anyone we know?
I have a headache.
Take off the rubber band holding your brains in.
I'm relaxing with a glass of white wine.
That's a washbucket....
I have a persistent cough.
Try taking Tico's dick out of your mouth.
That was about the nastiest insult I've ever given.
That cough could be the only thing that wants to hang around you.
I've got to go to the car wash now.
Well shape up, knobhead, and get something really unpleasant to sayl
I'm pleasantly tired.
That probably means you are too drunk to stand up.
I want to lose some weight.
Can't squeeze into those sweatpants anymore ?
We are finally getting some rain.
Great. Why don't you go out and stand in it, you stink.
I'm in Hawaii and its nice and hot.
Actually, you're in hell.
who cockaroached my chicken luau ?
Shouldn't bother you, you eat with the damn cockroaches in your dark little room, and you actually kind of look like a cockroach too.
I think I'll have a nice tall glass of wine now.
Don't you mean a box of white zinfandel ?
My feet hurt.
(cockaroached is old pidgin Hawaiian for stole.)
Damn right the feet hurt when you're a bum who's been walkin the railroad tracks all day.
Who's the parenthetical explanatory for, yourself? Yeah, you're the expert on stealing and such, I suppose.
I'm getting a bit of an eyestrain.
You need a larger monitor, what with the pron and all.
It's raining cat's and dogs.
You should feel right at home. Your ex-girlfriend told me you were a dog.
Its so damn hot here, I usually wait til evening to go out...
(I have a feeling you and I could go on like this for hours--I'll open my big trap now, and defy anyone to out insult us! Mathos, Spendius, Ellpus? & Co? Where you at, suckas?) 
Your customers appreciate that, I'm sure. Nothing worse than a sweaty drag-queen.
I will now drink another beer.
(it's on...)
Yeah, make sure its a beer this time and not those bottles you been saving your piss in. Remember when you did that last couple times?
Ahhh...I'm glad I'm not married so I can date all the fine ladies I feel like...
(I have a feeling you and I could go on like this for hours--I'll open my big trap now, and defy anyone to out insult us! Mathos, Spendius, Ellpus? & Co? Where you at, suckas?)
Do you still prefer the bearded ladies ?
I have to go to bed soon.
Don't forget to put on the plastic sheets. Remember what happened last time you drank a couple and slept?
Yeah, I must go now too, friend. Must actually do some work around here...
