Why, so you can be at the top of the buzz game?
My singing is so bad, I could empty an opera house, people would be lined up at the exit.
Um ... okay ... you insulted yourself, .... which, I believe, is against the rules. (And, yes, your singing stinks!)
I always follow the rules.
That's because you have no imagination.
I like to make my own rules, good time.
so do cockroaches
My roof fell in today.
Thatched roofs are quaint but impractical
I can read lips.
L, I, P, S, well done, a four letter word at last
I can hypnotise people/
Just because people nod off when you talk, it doesn't mean you are "hypnotising" them.
I like ground turkey.
As opposed to sea turkeys or flying turkeys?
My stomach feels unsettled.
Your stomach feels fat.
This would be a good day to eat chili.
You've been watching your avatar revolve again.
I'm expecting a phone call any moment now.
Keep holding...nobody likes you enough to call.
I have a cough.
Surely it's a symptom of one of your many STDs.
Diet Vanilla Coke is just about the best thing.
Well, when you have to live in your skin, I suppose Coke might be the best thing you got going.....
I am going on a mini-vacation with my husband this weekend!
What a coincidence, so is Slappy. Boy will there be plenty of gay sex on that vacation.
I can't wait for tonight.
Locking yourself in your room with a bottle of gin and Playstation again?
I'm cooler than the other side of the pillow.
If I soaked my pillow in urine, it would still be much more popular than your pillow. The reason for this is, your pillow is really small and smelly, while mine is firm and well, perfect.
I have sex with women, Slappy Doo Hoo has sex with men.
But isn't buying all that crack for them getting expensive?
I just found out I have Friday off.
Advanced terminations are the latest craze.
What's wrong with people?
The question that better suits you is, what ISN'T wrong with you?
The roads are a little wet.
Had to piss while you were on your bike again?
There is nothing good on TV now.
