Questions Game

Yes, I do, but I don't bother any more.



Haven't times changed?

Yes,they have haven't they.

It seems like only yesterday that it was freezing cold and now it's really hot.

I had to take my long-johns off today and put my underpants on instead.

I always feel a bit silly in the pub in my underpants. I feel much more dignified in my long-johns. Underpants are a bit like knickers when you come to think of it. I hate underpants.

Do you?

Do I hate underpants? Hmmm, never gave it much thought. Today's panties are much better than olden days' bloomers, don't you think?

The thongs are great!

I always associate bloomers with my poor departed Gran, there always appeared to be these enormous things hanging on her washing line or hung across the clothes maiden by the fire. I used to laugh at them!

I bet Spendius would be a sight for sore eyes, stood at the bar of the 'Ferret & Rat' in his longjohns or underpants. Perhaps one would be allowed to use him as bait in a grab a granny night.

Don't you think any man wearing longjohns must be mentally unbalanced?

No, because in some places it is better to protect the family jewels from the ferocious cold and be a laughing stock than to be freeze dried and fashionable.


Are you two still at this aggressive masculine competition thing?

It rather depends on how exactly you define aggressive masculine competition thing. A more ferocious soul coupled with a smattering of aggression may have asked, "What the **** has it got to do with you; prick?"

Why some people spend their whole lives being dickheads and mithering other people about their particular feelings never ceases to amaze me.

There is no big deal going on with Spendius. He is a Yorkshire tyke, that should say enough.

It has as much to do with masculinity as Freeman Hardy & Willis, W.H. Woolworths, Abbot and Costello or the three wise men.

You are making what I may well construe as being tantamount to sheer bloody insolence without cause, reason, or sound mind judgement.

The tyke happens to irk me once in a while with his twiddle twaddle blithering on subjects he has only read about. The fact that a short rebuke every now and again puts the dumbo on the straight and narrow, has absolutely sweet FA to do with masculinity or aggression.

Have I made myself perfectly clear?

Well, I'm certainly clear on this Thanks for the illumination, M.


How did you spend your weekend?

Hi Mame, trust your ok.

I had a busy weekend actually. There was the cup final to watch on Saturday afternoon. Six of us went out on Saturday night to Manchester. We hit a few bars and nightclubs had a flash meal in China Town, ended up on Canal Street watching the world of fashion with drooling eyes. Oh those micro skirts do things for a man. I got a hard thump off my wife who accused me of ogling ! Would you believe that?

Then the 'bling carriers' trying to outdo one another, all in all it was a good night, we got home in the late early hours. The Ricky Hatton fight which I had booked was half way through and we watched that to the end. He got the points decision, but I think he was very fortunate to do so.


Three hours sleep or so and then we relaxed, read the Sunday papers, it was raining most of the day. Had a lamb roast dinner about 6 and retired quite early to be up for 6.30 am Monday.

What did you do?

I flew to Ontario to visit my daughter and her husband, and my baby sister joined us. We had a really good long weekend. I'm so glad I went.


It's 23 deg C here - what's the weather there?

I am glad you enjoyed your trip, visiting is always nice.

Not been bad today, we had no rain but most of the country did. Cloudy with sunny spells until lunchtime temp about 17%C. Then skys cleared after lunch, quite warm maybe 20%C. I was stripped to the waist doing some maintenance jobs around the house, cut and strimmed most of my lawns. Fed and treated two lawns. We have some swallows and house martins nesting in the garage and they are interesting to watch. Robin and Mrs Robin who have been in the tree ivy for years were strutting around two wood pigeons who are in the habit of eating their seed. Crow was eating out of the dogs bowl and a partridge who has been visiting on and off for a year or two was sat atop a lamp-post watching everything with strong concern.

Do you get many birds or other wild life in your garden?

Yes, many birds... Rufus hummingbirds, Pileated woodpeckers, robins, nuthatches, crows, and about 7 other types I can't think of right now. I have about 6 birdhouses out for them, which they use.


Favourite ethnic food?

Jelly babies on a string. They last ages and ages.

Have you a sweet tooth?

Yes, I enjoy fresh honey and royal jelly.


Do you suck your jelly babies on a string, chew them or simply swallow them whole and tug them back up again?

Neither; I don't have a sweet tooth.


Do you sail?

No I don't sail Mame, never interested me really and having had two or three bad experiences as a passenger on a boat once and twice on ferries it has no appeal to me.

I suppose living by the coast would encourage you in that sphere, do you have your own boat?

No, I don't own a boat, and I wouldn't bother. It's too expensive for the amount of times I would take it out and there are plenty of boat-owners looking for slaves, I mean crew members, anyway.


Do you ski?

No I do not ski, again, never appealed to me.

I enjoy scuba diving, but I usually push it to extremes and could be accused of being reckless. I enjoy motorcycle riding. When younger I was a keen rugby player. I also did boxing. I used to shoot a great deal as well. I enjoy walking, especially in unknown territories. I adore wild life.

Do you smoke in bed?

I don't these days but I have done in the past before I learned the error of my ways.

I had a theory that a post-coital cigarette reduced the trembling sensation in my knees but experience showed that it only worked with amateurs so I gave up the coition in order to be able to negotiate a flight of stairs safely when the amateurs dried up due to sociological factors beyond my control.

Are you familiar with Sinatra's songs?

yes
the tapping sound is not my foot, but is my head when it becomes too painful to bash agains the table and i am reduced to settling with the tap.

how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck norris?

Isn't Chuck Norris one of these American dream idols, a compatriot of Sylvester Stalone, Big Arnie, The nut case with the silly pony tail, and Jean Claude Van Damn, I often wonder why they are never seen in real action, who needs an army, seals, or anything else when you have those guys putting the bad guys on the slab, usually in 90 minutes as well?

Will Superman save America if the Chinese invade?