@rosevilla425,
rosevilla425 wrote:
He never jokes sexually AT work. He's only done it once, and that was when we were texting as friends, not co-workers. I understand that work is professional, but I work at a grocery store. He majored in business. Everyone in my department makes jokes, even racial ones, at work. I work with a bunch of guys. I just can't grasp how what he does is unprofessional. In my opinion, if he wanted to be unprofessional, he could, and would, have gone way further.
Work is professional, even if you work at a grocery store.
He may have majored in business, and even graduated, but that doesn't mean he learned anything about professional boudaries, or if he did, does not apply them.
Ok, I'm going to quote my mother here...."Just because Johnny jumped off the bridge, doesn't mean you should too." You work somewhere where "everyone" in your dept makes jokes, even racial ones. Making jokes where a person works is quite normal, and if appropriate, a good thing. Making racial jokes ANYWHERE in the work place is not appropriate, and never a good thing. Just because others do it, does not make it right.
It may be true that you cannot grasp what is so unprofessional about this, but take our word for it, it is. Everyone who has responded in this thread (except for 1 person I don't know) is over the age of 40, has worked in professional environments, and understands what professionalism is. This situation is not.
Your supervisor is either
(a) Immature himself.
(b) See's that you are young, inexperienced and unable to grasp what unprofessional/inappropriate behavior is, and is taking advantage of that.
(c) Both.
Don't think I missed the fact you didn't answer someone's question as to whether he is married or not. None of us missed that.
Your gut told you something is wrong with this. That's why you came here and asked your question. Why else would you come here is you weren't thinking something was wrong with this? We are validating that something is wrong here. You have our permission to know what your gut is trying to tell you is true.
Yours is a common case. You ask a question, or for an opinion, and when it is given, make every excuse as to why what is being said is not true, and that everything is "probably" ok.
Be a better person than a group of teenage boys that make inappropriate jokes. Be a better person than someone who permits her supervisor to make texts to her with sexual content. Be a better 18 year old than one who let's someone much older than her treat her shabbily by telling her racist jokes and makes inappropriate comments and texts.
BTW, people do not tell jokes to "get people to react" Sometimes people use inappropriate humor as a way to say what they really think.
If someone gets offended or confronts them if they were being inappropriate, they can always say "I was just joking" It's an automatic excuse.
Think about it. What if, when he made his first suggestive comment to you, you said "I do not appreciate you talking to me that way. Your comment was sexual to me, and inappropriate." You don't think he would have replied "Geez, I was JUST JOKING" But then, the comments would have stopped. You would have let him know you had his number.
He's making these comments to you because he knows he can. He knows he can because you didn't object.
You said he's moving to another place? Good riddance. When he gets there, he'll start being inappropriate with some other 18 year old girl who doesn't object, because they can't yet grasp what is wrong with it.
You've made several excuses for him here, trying to convince us he's a nice guy.
He's not. There is a world of difference between a 30 year old man and an 18 year old girl. You don't yet get professional boundaries, and he's well aware of that.
Go ahead, make me a liar. Next time he makes a racial or sexual comment to you, tell him you don't like that, that you find that offensive, and he's being inappropriate as a supervisor.
I'd love to hear what his response would be. I'm sure it would include the phrase "I was just joking"