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Wed 25 Mar, 2015 01:37 pm
Ok this might be a little long but I'll try and be factual and to the point, about 6 weeks ago I started a new job, perfect, and I love it, I work with three other woman and the manager is obviously male he's 35 married and with two kids.
At first I wasn't bothered about him much, he was a nice guy but the first few weeks were just settling in and getting to know the people and my role so I never gave him much thought. Anyway he started to catch my attention more over the past 2-3 weeks, he's pretty cute, and funny, and a really nice guy. The woman I work with are at least 10 years older than him and they all seem to love this guy, they seem to put him on a pedestal I even think they kinda flirt with him.
I'm the youngest in the office and as any young woman I make an effort every day with my appearance, my make up, hair, clothes, you know how it is and anyway now he's caught my attention I like how they all seem to swoon over him, craving his attention as it seems, and he's so nice he chats, laughs and jokes but he's so authoritive (and I find that quite sexy) everyone wants a piece of him, not just the girls they guys too he's the main man.
He's recently started sitting near to my desk so I see him all day everyday pretty much, he says this desk near to mine is quieter than his office (the line of work we are in is pretty loud I guess) but he's never sat there before only on the last few weeks he's there almost every day now.... And just to point out there is a spare desk next to one of the woman he works closely with as she does a lot of his side of things.
Anyway were kinda getting closer, getting to know eachother, chatting laughing ect we tease eachother a lot and have good banter. I keep fantasising about him in a sexual way, I would never act on it because I am in a relationship and obviously he is married with kids. Some days he's quite serious and professional and others he's giggly and fun I guess that's just his job but he's always kind to me, he just doesn't always show me as much attention if he's got his professional hat on although I always manage to make him laugh at least once or twice a day.
He laughs with the others too tho so I don't think that's much of a sign he likes me or he's flirting. Lately he keeps talking me up to other colleagues and his boss the owner of the business, he tells them how much of a good job im doing, how talented I am, and what I've done to help him with projects. It's so nice.
He compliments me on a lot of things, even small things like making him a cup of tea, he likes it a certain way and apparently I seem to have the knack! It embarrasses me to be complemented on such trivial things but it's sweet of him.
Everyday we get a little closer, pushing boundaries with teasing eachother (I don't know about him but I guess I'm just seeing what jokes he can take and teasing him is quite amusing) when we talk, about anything, weather it's work related or not, he makes such intense eye contact that he doesn't break, I have to look away sometimes I feel uncomfortable staring into his eyes for that long, I don't know what to do with myself, his eyes burn into mine and as soon as I kinda remember his eyes are on mine I get all flustered and look away.
His jokes are sometimes a little rude but not too bad, he doesn't indicate sexual comments towards anyone just a few naughty jokes or comments, he knows I'm in a relationship, and of course I know he is too so it never crosses a line.
Today he sat at the desk near to mine all day until we were about an hour off leaving then he moved back to his office. Everyone else apart from him and the woman I work with and myself had gone home already, guess I convinced myself I wanted a drink just so I could make one and go to his office to take him a coffee just to see him, when I went to his office I gave him his paperwork and drink and turned to leave, it is literally the first time he hasn't been surrounded by people wanting him for something or another, it's the only time we have ever been actually alone...
So as I turned to walk out he started a random conversation up about it being pay day, after that we were just talking about anything and everything, from hobbies to house robberies, it felt like we had so much to say neither one of us could get it out fast enough, we were talking over eachother and laughing a lot, sharing everything we could, he never once broke eye contact with me, I know I did, I felt kind of nervous, I was lingering in his doorway and he was sat at his desk, everytime I thought I better leave cos ive been in his office ages and the other woman I work with will be wondering where I am he kept me talking, I was there for ages!
In the end one of the woman I work with came to find me, wondering where I had gotten too, even though she appeared next to me in the door way and he knew that cos she made some comment about us talking for ages he didn't even acknowledge her he carried on looking at me and finishing what he was telling me, when he finished the woman who came to find him said one of the other woman wanted him to help with a job, so he followed me out of his office
I know this is ridiculous but he was so close (but not touching) i could feel like electric between us, he keeps gesturing as tho he's going to touch my back but doesn't. No one mentioned it in our office but I knew they all clearly wondered where I was with him because they would have just phoned him otherwise or not come down. I was gone at least 20-30 mins tho I think.
When im around him and we are alone or semi alone it's like we both seem flustered sort of jittery I don't even know what this is. I don't speak to him outside of work. Ive only known him like 5 weeks!
Generally when he comes in and out of our office or if I see him he doesn't always look at me, but if I look up at him walking in he is sometimes looking in my direction, I think he blushes sometimes when we speak but to be honest im too busy not to blush I don't really notice. I can't even concentrate fully on what he's saying to me. He probably thinks I'm not listening to him.
When I play him up and tease him he gives me this cheeky look sometimes he's really cheeky to me too.
I'm not planning anything with this guy, but it makes the work day a little more amusing to get on so well with him, it's a bit of a thrill and a bit of fun, harmless flirting I guess...
But my question is, does he fancy me? Is this one sided on my part? I can't work it out I have been out of the dating game so long, and while I guess it doesn't even matter how he feels because neither one of us will act on it, it would be nice to know if he does like me in that way or not?
Opinions please?
Fantasizing is lovely. Don't act on it.
@jespah,
Fantasizing is useless when you can't act on it.
But wait, it could be written up as the opening of a romance novel. It was a pretty good start.
@ossobuco,
That why I loved these romance threads. They read a bit like novellas.
Thanks to you all for commenting, since I wrote this about a week ago, im even more confused than ever before, sometimes I think he does like me and other times I think he's like this with everyone.
Yeah the fantasies are fun I won't act on them but it's kinda exciting to know if the fantasies are reciprocated from him.
Not sure if you were being genuine or sarcastic about the way I have wrote this lol but if genuine thank you I love writing and write all the time about all sorts. Usually whatever has captured my attention and in this case it's him, that's why it's so long, also I didnt want to leave any detail out as people can only comment if they know everything there is to know! X
@Akitax,
Already you know that to do.
ENJOY !!!!!!
@Akitax,
Please remember that everyone else in the office notices when things are going well or not going well. If you start getting giddy around the boss, it's a certainty the older women will notice. You may think they seem too old to pick up vibes, but they are usually the first to notice. Then one woman notices and happens to glance at the face of a co-worker who also noticed, it going to be the talk of the office. It might not be mean, depending on how you react, but you will probably get ribbed when you least expect it, and you'll blush.
You are risking feeling foolish, it's probably not what you want. You've only been there a short time, so everything is fresh and new, but things settle down and you might makes friends you will have for years. Keeping things platonic is your best bet, unless your a starry eyed romantic that believes fate has brought you two together. That usually creates terrible problems, for everyone. And then happy pleasant place to work no longer is such a great place.
@glitterbag,
Thanks glitterbag,
I know you are right and the last thing I want is for them to notice, I try and be very careful about it around them but he doesn't make it easy constantly winding me up x
This is really hard and really confusing :-/
@Akitax,
Nothing confusing: it's all very simple. You are physically attracted by your boss. Many people have been there.
The conventional wisdom is that one should never mix sex/love and work, because affairs usually end after a while and that can be very messy and conflicting, detrimental to the climate at the office. Also, co-workers tend to resent colleagues making it with the boss because that leads to favoritism.
You can try and have the guy if you want, but you may lose your job as a result.
@Akitax,
Quote:But my question is, does he fancy me? Is this one sided on my part? I can't work it out I have been out of the dating game so long, and while I guess it doesn't even matter how he feels because neither one of us will act on it, it would be nice to know if he does like me in that way or not?
Opinions please
If you don't plan on doing anything about it - then it doesn't matter. Becareful though -you do are playing with fire....you said you like this job - this could ruin your job; not to mention as you said he has a family, you have a relationship.
My personal opinion - you two are attracted to each - normal. Try not to be alone with him as you don't want anything further. Others may be seeing this attaction already and may be jealous or concerned - you getting favoritism because he likes you.
Better to keep a professional distance. Doesn't mean you can't talk, but I would keep your alone conversations to a minimum. Is it worth the little thrill for your job or relationship you already have?
@Linkat,
No
it's not worth it, thank you for being so understanding and not nasty or harsh because of what I have posted. He winked at me today and called me love now altho he's being friendly it feels like he's being funny with me even though he isn't it's just normal friendly not special friendly if that makes sense?
He's got me thinking all these mad thoughts now and it's scary! I don't think he likes me though maybe it's all in my head - I don't think he would ever make a move :-/
@Olivier5,
I think it's all in my head I don't think he likes me and I feel like I'm going crazy
@Akitax,
You've only been at this job for six weeks.
You're still in what's often called the honeymoon period. Everything is new and exciting and interesting. Throw an attractive person into the mix and things can get more confusing.
Keep your head down, do your job and stay out of anything social for a while.
There are a lot of dynamics there you still have to learn about.
Good luck and enjoy the job itself.
@Akitax,
Quote:But my question is, does he fancy me?
I don't see where anyone really answered the specific question in your first post, so I will. The answer is, only he knows.
But the real question for you is why does it matter if he fancies you or not? He is married. End of story. Why not stop all the flirting because it can only lead to trouble.
@Akitax,
Quote: I feel like I'm going crazy
Why would you? Being infatuated with someone is quite frequent, normal, banal even, and it should not be so confusing or sad... Am I missing something? Why is this so important, more so than any other girl-meet-boy story?
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