my husbands best friend!

Just don't go there. With 3.55 billion other males to have a potential fling with, why would you want to hurt your hubby like that? Why mess with your own head, your hubby's and this man's?


Where is your concern for your hubby?

Tell your husband to ask him.

My husband shows no interest in me at all. He is not affectionate, never kisses me, or even tells me he loves me. For our anniversary and birthday/Valentine's day the only place we go is to a casino... We play, lose, and he goes home pissed off. Divorce is not an option right now. I'm am terribly lonely.

Where the scrap is my hubbys concern for me?! I'm in this relationship also! I get treated like yesterday's news paper.

Tell your husband you don't want to go to a casino. You have 10 days until Valentines' Day. Surely you can tell him by then.

You need to take some responsibility for this relationship. You're an adult. Tell the man what you want out of your marriage. Not in a fight. Just, tell him. At least respect him enough to give him a chance.

Divorce is always an option. Unless you live in a 14th world country or somewhere along the lines. If that's the case, immigrate to a more civilized country. Get a divorce and get on with your life. This isn't AshleyMadison.com.

Well, ironically, you bet on the wrong horse. Get marriage counseling or dump him already.

Stop playing head games. If you want an affair with someone then find someone else instead of his best friend. Mercy sakes!

Take some responsibility for your action. Either get a divorce or get counseling ... individually or couples or both.

Ask him. With any luck, he is a good enough friend to turn you down and then tell his good friend about your desire to cheat. Hopefully your husband will then initiate the divorce you so richly deserve.

I am exactly in your situation where i have been sleeping with my best mates wife. I always fancied her for many years but never acknowledged it. She asked me out one night when she was home alone and it was like a dream come true. The chemistry we have is undeniable and despite knowing how badly society views this situation its the most incredible sex i have ever had. If you can keep everything discreet then go for it, but never take risks when meeting or communicating. I feel alive again and this affair is mind blowing. I am not sure if anyone out there has secretly wanted someone for many years and always dreamed of being with that person....but when you finally experience it the feeling cannot be described.

If it is so great, why not tell your wife about it. Surely she has someone she has always dreamed about screwing, so maybe she would want to take this opportunity to do so. Hey, maybe she can screw your best mate!

Something tells me though that you are too cowardly to tell her and face the consequences.

Dear Coastal rat, i will start off calm then might fly into a rage later on in my response....we will see.

In principle, it is not the best idea to have an affair with your mates wife. In fact with all of my mates bar one, i would not even consider it. It just so happens that one good friend has a wife who is my kryptonite. For many years i have admired her but never ever made an attempt to get her into bed. However that all went south when it became clear she was interested in me and once she put it out there, resistance was never going to happen.

At the end of the day pal, there are bigger issues in the world. Seriously, why do you GAF about what other people do.

So to the person who was battling with this question, just go with what you feel comfortable with.

I don't care at all what other people do. Why do you post personal relationship stuff on a forum if you don't want to hear what others think? And when someone responds, you have to ask stupid questions such as the one I quoted above.

Kudos though for not flying into a rage at any point in your response. You showed great restraint.

I wonder what Harper28 is thinking? After all, it's her thread that has been taken over.

People responses can be valuable and I guess I posed my earlier question to you in the wrong context. What irritates me is when some people respond in a way that is judgmental, 'holier than thou' and bordering on vitriolic simply because they have a different view. (Not saying you responded in that tone). As I said, I read some of the earlier responses to Harper28 and saw them in a different light upon a second run through. Anyhow, I totally get how starting something with a friends partner is seen as taboo and in my case I didn't take the decision lightly. My own partner has been battling inner demons for 10+ years and that has affected our relationship. Sometimes things happen between people which the bulk of society will disapprove of, and in most cases those involved understand that and have to deal with the situation accordingly. So all I was saying to Harper28 is go with what you feel you can handle.

I think:

1. Clearly you already don't love your husband, therefore you can think in others men. Now, if you want something with your husband's friend, well, you can divorce him.

2. The life is short, let's enjoy it.

Please, don't be unhappy

I think you are not serious with your married life and don’t love your husband. Let to know your husband and discuss with him about why he don’t love you then you can decide to divorced.

You find cool people as Husband's friend. so give the divorce your husband but thin your past if he really too much love you find your mistakes. In which times its happen. Do any big mistake(not a serious) at front your friend what his reaction. Simply you know about he love you or not....

i m with you

It's not a matter of you liking him. It's a matter of you not wanting your husband anymore. So in light of what I think from your description you should just ask the friend and get it out of your system. It's clearly not just looks but there has to be more that attracts you to him. So because I don't think you are attracted to hubby any more you should be bold and ask.

I also read you are lonely so it' is quite rational to stay for the need of safety and security. Then you shouldn't complain too much about the love part :-(