my husbands best friend!

It's not a matter of you liking him. It's a matter of you not wanting your husband anymore. So in light of what I think from your description you should just ask the friend and get it out of your system. It's clearly not just looks but there has to be more that attracts you to him. So because I don't think you are attracted to hubby any more you should be bold and ask.

I also read you are lonely so it' is quite rational to stay for the need of safety and security. Then you shouldn't complain too much about the love part :-(

Also it's quite rational to value safety and security and stay in the marriage for that. But in the next breath expect love. Sorry

I just think if a partner doesn't know you are screwing around then there is something wrong. They deny and bury their head, they do the same, or stupid as.