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Fri 16 Jan, 2015 11:29 am
So... I'm 26 and I've known a man for 5 years now from work. He is 10 years older than me and we were very sexual attracted to each other from the start. We never talked about it, he only flirted with me quite heavily. But I had a boyfriend and even though I liked him and felt this I decided to not do anything with it. And, he had a girlfriend and a son (with another woman). But we kind of kept in touch with long pauses, I haven't spoken to him for over a year the last time. Now my relationship has ended so I'm single and I got in touch with him again.. and we're having a real, heavy affair now. And..he now has a newborn baby with his girlfriend. I know, it's so, so bad. But oh my God, it's so intense with him. I've never felt this. There's so much passion, lust.. it's crazy.
He is very extreme. We have the wildest sex because we both like it rough. He pulls my hair, bites and licks my neck. It's so hot. But he is very, very extreme. He asks me everyday if I'm his and wants me to say that I'm his, only his. He wants to know when guys hit on me. He says that he doesn't want me to do things with other men and if I do he will get very, very angry with me. He says that I have to listen to what he says (I'm not sure if he means sexually or in our every day life?). He never asks me to send sexy pictured, he just demands it. He demands that I masturbate when we text and I'm at home and he will make me horny by sexting me. He says that I'm the best sex of his live and that I'm so good in everything I do to him in bed. He says he doesn't wanna live without me and that he wants me for the rest of his life, so if I do get a boyfriend he wants me to keep doing this with him. (It's so contradictive, he says that he wants me to be from his and only his and that he doesn't want to share me, but if I do get a boyfriend he doesn't want me stop with him). Sometimes he asks me if I'm his and if I'm interested in flirting with other men. When I'm not giving a clear answer he gets really angry and threats to break it off with me. 'Do you want me to do this with other women? Cause I can' he says then. I get really angry as well then because it's just not okay that he then acts like he's fine with having every other woman as well.
But on the other hand, he texts me every single minute whenever he's not with his girlfriend. So we talk a lot... Like all day, almost every day. He wants to know everything about me, what does my family look like, what does my office looks like, who are my friends and what to they look like. We see each other a few times a week and he get's very careless sometimes. He sometimes says 'I actually can't go out to see you tonight but I want to see you so bad so I'm going anyway'. He stays out with me way too long (sometimes I'm the one to tell him to go home because he's out too long) and I'm surprised his girlfriend hasn't noticed anything. He says he never felt this, that he didn't know he could feel like this, that he longs to me all day every day, that I'm on his mind way too much, that he misses me, that I make him crazy and that only I can make him this crazy, that he think's I'm so beautiful, sexy, fun, hot and that only I can make him feel the way that he feels right now. He asked me how I felt and I said that I hates that he has a family and he said he also wished it was different. I was kind of shocked actually. He asks me if I would like to have him as my boyfriend sometimes but I never answer because he has a girlfriend and a newborn baby..
So i'm really not sure how I feel about this. On the other hand he acts almost obsessed with me but when I don't say what he wants to hear he will threaten to break it off with me and that he can do this with other women as well. Is it just his insecurity about how I feel about him, is he scared that I will run off with another man? Or what is it?
What is it? Lust, forbidden, exciting. I can't get a sense of what ELSE there is.
I wonder how long you will accept being in this "other woman"role.
I wonder what he would do if you gave him an ultimatum.
@Belle1988,
You play with fire.. Your going to get burnt, in a BIG way!! You need to leave this situation alone and find someone else. Yes the sex is crazy but so is he!! I know how addicted you must be feeling because of it and love all the attention he's showering you with ( what woman dosent love attention?) but what you've got to realise is that he is using threats on you to get his way. This man is clearly selfish,very obsessive and extremely insecure..If you both do end up together he is really just giving you a little glimpse of what he'll be like in the future and trust me, you don't want that. Your addiction to this heated lust will not end well because it is not a relationship built on genuine love. It's not even real and you need to look at it from a realistic point of view and move on. I suggest not getting intimate with him coz that will only keep you in a confused frame of mind..
@MrMix,
I have just realized what I hate about this place and most of advises that people give to original posters.
Woman writes her heart out about how much she loves having sex with this man and does anyone here knows what does it mean to have satisfying sex so it is blowing your mind? Does anyone?
So if you do how come your advise on this matter would be something as stupid as "I suggest not getting intimate with him"...
Like if she was a iron lady and could say 'enough' and walk away.
WHERE have you people seen such people who can control their most wild and unexplained emotions by saying 'that is it, I am done and walking from it'...
WHY do you act like you had done it yourself and now you are suggesting it to others? HAVE you ever done something like this? Walked away from mind blowing passion? Do tell.
@Eliusa,
Omg you've totally missed the point here!! It's not the mind blowing sex but the situation that she is in for gods sake!!! Can't you see that?? Can't you see that the guy she's sleeping with has a girlfriend and is totally obvessive and insecure? If he's going to throw threats around now who knows what else he's capable of doing?violence maybe? What about her safety and well being and all your worried about is her getting mind blowing sex?? You need you head examined!! And yes I'm a man that was in a situation just like hers, was seeing a married woman was having mind blowing sex every time we got our hands on each other and walked away because I came to sensers and felt it was something I needed to do not just for my sake but because she also had a son and did it for his sake coz I didn't want to break his heart knowing he would be away from his real father who he loved dearly. Yes it was extremely hard to do but not
impossible. So yes Iv been there from experience that's why I added my input. You sound way to emotional and if you've "realised why you hate this place".... Why are you even here???
@MrMix,
It is you who need your head examined and it is you who totally missing the point.
Person is in love, lust etc. Telling her to walk away is not going to DO anything to resolve the issue. She is not a superwoman who can say 'enough' and stop wanting his sex!!!
It has nothing to do with wife, baby, danger, nothing. Chemistry and hormones are overpowering at this moment. She is hooked like on drugs.
And I had just read your situation and sorry, you are a man, it is different.
But kudos for making it straight with that woman.
What if someone told you when you had an affair to walk away?
Would you? NO! You did it when you realized that it is enough for you.
What had she felt?..assuming that she loved you. Ever thought of it?
And why am I here? Because I found a few people I like very much and having fun talking to.
@Eliusa,
Ok so your telling me that a woman has absolutely no self control if she's getting mind blowing sex and can't walk away even if she is in a toxic situation?? My god now that is very VERY scary!!! Yes she is hooked like drugs just like I was but I believe with a strong will you can overcome that.. Hey I did and I'm not superman!! And why are you putting words in my mouth by saying I only walked away when I felt it was right for me?? I already explained the situation and did what I had to do for the sons sake even though my feelings were strong and genuine. As a man I made the tough decision and I'm glad I did!
So your sure your here coz you have friends you like to talk to? Or is it because you really don't have any friends period?
@MrMix,
I am sure you walked away when you felt it was enough for you and son was just an excuse. How long was affair? he had son all that time, right but it didn't bothered you because you weren't done with her. As soon as you satisfied yourself you remembered her son. Poor little thing who will be hurt. Boo whoo.
And why hadn't she divorced her husband if she loved you and you loved her that much? Because you were full of yourselves and just wanted to **** on the side? Why else?
And I am here because I am at my business I owe and it is slow and I have nothing else to do. When I am elsewhere I am never posting here. So I do have life unlike some who seem posting all day long every day.
"He asks me if I would like to have him as my boyfriend sometimes but I never answer because he has a girlfriend and a newborn baby."
She is afraid to give the ultimatum, because she already knows what the REAL answer would be.
He's having an affair - not a relationship. Hot or not, he's right where he will stay.
She is deluding herself if she thinks this is anything other than lust. He has his wife and baby.
@PUNKEY,
Not wife.
He is having his not wife and baby. Whom he doesn't seem care much about accordingly to:
"He sometimes says 'I actually can't go out to see you tonight but I want to see you so bad so I'm going anyway'. He stays out with me way too long (sometimes I'm the one to tell him to go home because he's out too long) and I'm surprised his girlfriend hasn't noticed anything. "
@Belle1988,
If you're ok being the third woman in his life and realize he can move on easily from you, it's fine.
He's playing games with you and you seem to enjoy it. Some people like having manipulative partners. You may just need to accept that about yourself.
If you're looking for a permanent, long-term relationship you'll need to reconsider things.
@Eliusa,
Hahaha omg your unreal!! All you do is ASSUME these things about me and start believing your own bullshit haha you do know what assumptions are don't you.. The mother of all f@#kups haha I can honestly say that out of my past relationships, her and I had the most in common, most chemistry and similar personality that I have ever experienced that's why it killed me to do what I did and I'm still hurting deep down because of it but it had to be done for the child. I think that takes honour and courage something you obviously lack.
And if you look at my profile you would realise that I only entered the site 1 day ago 17/1/2015.. So I have no idea where your getting your info saying I'm here all day everyday??? Maybe it's that assumption that your small mind keeps conjuring up?? Haha
I think you've for you've forgotten to take your medication sweetheart lol
@MrMix,
Again, doesn't answer anything. You left her for a child sake after how long?
When lust wore off? Why not get divorce and married if you had been so happy?
Probably because she was just there for a ****. Right?
@Eliusa,
Wrong, wrong and wrong once again!! Your not very good at this are you? Hence the reason why your advice to certain posts are terrible!! If you read over my last post I said we shared the most chemistry, similar personality and connected more then anyone Iv ever met or been with! So it dosent matter about how long we were seeing each other coz we were tight but I still had the guts to call it quits because of her son and also because her husband told her that when he was growing up his mother left for another man and walked out on him and he didn't want the same thing happening to his son. The only reason why you don't believe I called it quits with her even though the chemistry was strong is because faced with the same situation you would be to weak to walk away. You've proved that in a previous post saying that a girl just can't stop when she's getting crazy sex.. You have no control and zero will power not to mention not being able to make a rational decision in the tough situations. What you don't realise sweetheart, is that every time you reply to these posts your actually giving a little clue about who you are as person. In psychology it's a term called projection. And what I can say is you lack integrity, values and obviously self respect. There are real life people needing some genuine answers and your really not in a position to say anything...
@MrMix,
So you aren't telling how long that 'chemistry' was going on because you know if you say a few years - your 'I ended it because of poor son' theory will collapse and you will be exposed for a liar you are. And amoral cheater that you don't want to admit you are.
@Eliusa,
Oh is that right is it??
Matthew 7:5 ESV
You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.
So sweetheart... Am I the moral cheater that is married for 20+ years but having an emotional affair with another man??? You've been caught out once and for all!!! You HYPOCRITE!!! You pointed the finger at me, threw insults yet all along were guilty of the very thing you judge and accuse me of! You should be ashamed of yourself. I knew I could sense a rat! Only god judges me and last time I checked you ain't God... Like Iv said all along..your one weak human being!!
@MrMix,
I wasn't caught. However I am not replying to your idiotic posts anymore. you are sick and no doctor nearby.
@Eliusa,
I think we both know now that your pretty accustomed to seeing the doctor sweat heart...
@Eliusa,
Not replying coz you just got exposed!!! Bye bye hypocrite
Having an affair with Mr. Grey - as in Fifty Shades of Grey?
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