Also, his previous wife committed suicide last year after they had been divorced for several years due to her borderline personality disorder and addiction problems
I am depressed, feel ugly, unwanted and confused. I am 48
I'd like you to look at both of the above Statements. She may really not have had a borderline personality before she married him, nor addiction problems and you do not want to go down that path.
I'd like you to truly look deeply as well, 48 - 5 years, promises, never met.
You're 48 you are young, you can be his "friend" like all the other ladies, sleeping with his ex, whom he hasn't been with for at least 5 years, grieving, personally I think he believes he caused it.
Please don't be a statistic of the wrong relationship, you have a lot of living to do.