i want him to call his mistress

What will that accomplish?

because I know he is sleeping with her but he wont admit it and I feel like im going crazy and im letting it take over my life. it consumes me

So once you hear what you want to hear, then what?

I wish I knew. I wish I had the nerve to leave him. This isn't the first or the las affair and I know that. I want him to know hes not fooling anybody and its embarrassing for me and for him. Believe me I want nothing more than to leave him but I cant for a million reasons.

if u have any advice I would love to hear it. GOOD OR BAD

wake up and smell the coffee. Gather yourself and start thinking of how many of those million reasons aren't what matters. Your self-respect and your happiness does. If he's lying to you then he has not the man you thought you were married to. the sooner you get on with your life the sooner you'll be on the road to finding a happier life.

While i think there are better ways, have you though of hiring a very good reputable private detective?

you're not going to leave him in any case so why bother? it won't change anything

Jeez.

I can't imagine why this husband would want another girlfriend.

"I want him to call", "I don't know what to have him say"

So, because she wants him to make a call, he's obligated to do it? Then she has to tell him what to say, so the other person walks into a trap...and he's going to do that?

Does he have to wait for you to tell him he can wipe his ass?

Screw you. I'd cheat on you too.

I don't usually say this but ...LOL!

Respect yourself enough to leave. Until you respect yourself enough, he won't admit it!!

Hey, you can retrieve and find deleted texts by getting Dr. Fone. You can get a VAR, voice activated recorder and put it in his car.

But keep in mind in some places a VAR can be considered illegal.

There are also some Key logger programs you can put on his computer to see what he is searching and doing even if its incognito.

These are all considered extreme and many would find this a violation of privacy. But in my mind cheating is a violation of a relationship. it is a violation of life, so privacy is much lower on the list. Cheating can turn into a life or death situation. (Fatal Attraction) so it is REASONABLE in my mind to stoop, yes STOOP to spying. But mostly i think if you feel the need to spy the relationship probably is not even worth the effort. I am sorry your husband has cheated, and IS cheating on you.

Only way for you to actually forgive is to know the extent of the cheating, (You can't forgive what you don't know) and he is not likely to EVER tell you the truth. So you have to chose to dig for it, PI, threaten a polygraph, Dr. Fone, key logger, Expend that horrible energy or just toss the cheating jerk. Honestly....Spying is maddening.... It never feels good. But if you feel you need and still WANT your marriage... You probably need to sleuth.