I scared my girlfriend of 2 months away. Can I get her back?

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We've made love a few times and she claims I am only her second person she has laid with. She is 21. The first was an abusive boyfriend whom she dated for almost 2 years and ended a year ago.

She was clearly tense and untrusting but I could slowly see her opening up. I made the mistake of telling her I loved her and she doubted I was really in love with her because it was too soon. The big problem came when she told me she never wants to love anyone ever again because she loved her ex and hated the person she became. I told her I wanted to help her through her past, but also said I couldn't marry someone who didn't love me (hypothetically). This was an argument over text and she told me I should have never even tried with her. I told her I wasn't ready to give up on her yet and we made plans to hang out.

When she came to see me she said she was thinking about our argument and thinks I shouldn't waste my time with her and we broke up. I said if that's truly how you feel then so be it. I walked her to her car and kissed her on her forehead and she left.

We connected so well before this and her mom likes me which was a big deal. Said I am the only person her mom approved. I know I was too much too soon but I know I can cool it. I want to reach out to her in about a week and apologize for pressuring her and ask if we could start fresh.

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@trainermc,

You can try, but this isn't a girlfriend. This is a fixer-upper.

She's got major issues. She's needs seriously counseling, by a trained professional. All the love in the world isn't going to fix that.

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Quote:

I scared my girlfriend of 2 months away

No information related to this assertion is included in the post. You post indicates that she thinks you are too good for her, which is the opposite of what you tittle implies.

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@hawkeye10,

I don't think it implies that. What I was describing is she basically was overwhelmed by me showing her affection and wanting to see her. She knew I had stronger feelings for her than she did for me. She broke up with me because she thinks I was wasting my time trying to get her to change and learn to love again. She said she never wants to change, but I still wanted to help her. She's definitely damaged but I feel I could get her to come around taking a much slower approach. I just need to get her back...

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@trainermc,

Well, you can't make that happen. She has to want it.

Her low self esteem and past relationship with an abuser are the problem. Some girls LOVE those bad boys - they are so exciting. Hurts so bad, and all that crap.

So she wouldn't even recognize a nice, stable fella if she was in bed with him - (oops, that was you, wasn't it?) Besides, why would she want to CHANGE? She doesn't see the problem or what she needs to "correct" to get up to your standards.

You are going to have to wait until she makes the first move to come back. IF she does, take it slowly. She is not only a wounded bird, she may LIKE it that way. In the meantime, find someone whom you don't feel you have to fix up.

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I scared my girlfriend of 2 months away. Can I get her back?

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