Who benefits from me not cheating?

you meant last post in this thread I am sure...have you?

We took time off during Holidays and I was wondering if he is still into me or he is trying to end it.
So I had asked what is going on and he said he was just thinking of places we had been and one particular I had been thinking about on the same night.
There was sadness in our conversation but he made me happy with all the things that he told me how much he misses me and in non-sexual way btw as well.

So I am doing therapy, doubling on Xanax, aching in my heart area and he is thinking about me so people around are asking him what is wrong. And he must say 'everything is fine'...

So who is benefiting from this? our families? Just venting...

Ever affair ends with heartache and has heartache "always" throughout, on-going.

Don't be a fool by taking double Xanax, that's stupid, you'll have more than an aching heart you'll have a heart attack.

That kind of meds can hurt you.. Watch out.

It had not ended. It is just taking a different path. He is thinking of divorce.
I am petrified. I don't know what I am going to do with my life IF he will become single.
And I am doubling on Xanax to 1mg per day. It is not too much.
I just don't know how else to relieve this depression and sadness I am feeling.
At least after second Xanax I am somewhat normal. What else to do?
I came here on a first place to ask what to do with this aching heart and if anyone knows how to stop this pain. And it is 12 pages later you telling me I can have a heart attack? From love?

I am taking o.5mg for 7 years. In the morning.
nowadays I am taking all the herbs for calming nerves I know.
About 12 of them mixed. It helps short term. I can't have a sleep
if I am not taking Xanax. I know people are on it for life and taking up to 4mg daily. So why are you saying it can hurt me? It is prescribed by a doctor.