@hawkeye10,
Quote:the people writing sex law are unjust so we should refuse to follow their demands, they do not represent our values
The people writing "sex law" are our legislators--our duly elected representatives--and the laws reflect the dominant values of the electorate at any given time.
If they represented
your values regarding sex, we'd be back in the Stone Age.
Quote:my wife says such things as " sometime I want you to come to the living room where I am, grab me by my hair and drag me back to the bedroom, and use me. AND DONT ASK ME, just make me do it. And if I dont service you well then whip me"
The "sex laws"/sexual assault laws pertain to only actual physical sexual contacts. Dragging someone by the hair, whipping them, slamming them against a wall and pulling down their panties, tying them up and gagging them, intentionally inflicting pain on them, etc., are
not sexual contacts--they are acts of violence which would be covered by assault and battery laws.
Quote:On the other hand ravishing a woman, for instance throwing her against a wall, pulling down her panties, and taking what we want.....is very very right. Many men and even more women want this, need this. "No means no"consent parameters can be made to work to allow couples to play with power in this way, but "only yes means yes" does not....the taking of the female by the male is the entire point of the game
Because you may need these acts to become sexually aroused, or to satisfy your psychological needs for sexual power/dominance, does not change the fact that these are not acts of physical sexual contact, and not really covered by sexual assault laws except as forms of coercion to get another person to acquiesce to sexual contacts. To say that, "Many men and even more women want this, need this," does not mean such BDSM activities should be necessarily condoned--many people want and need sexual contacts with children and animals as well--the laws define the boundary lines of what is acceptable in a society. As long as your personal needs for power involve the "taking of the female" you'll be dancing on the edge of those boundary lines, and the laws are not going to bend to accommodate your particular brand of kinkiness or what you need to feel "manly". Engaging in mutually consensual role-playing fantasies is not criminal, unless actual acts violate existing laws. And the issue of consent, not for sexual contact, but for the sadomasochistic infliction of pain and physical injury, is really the most problematic issue with BDSM.
Once you talk about just "taking what I want"--irrespective of what the other person wants--you are talking about
rape. Why is it any less rape if you slam your wife against a wall and just "take what I want" than if a stranger entered your home and did the same thing to your wife? Do you assume that your wife is
always consenting to anything you want to do to her? Is she that much of a doormat/submissive that she has no will of her own, that there are no times when she's not feeling well, or in the mood for your power games?
Quote:I certainly dont believe in taking a woman sexually who does not want to be taken, I dont condone rape, but I have no interest in the feminist demand that I ask permission to throw my woman against the wall before I lay a hand on her.
So, your wife has to endure being slammed against a wall, before she even has an opportunity to say no, because she's "my woman" and you consequently feel you have the right to treat her as property rather than as a person? And, if you had to ask her permission beforehand, for things you want to do to her, it would make you feel unmanly, it would deflate your sense of power? Awww...poor baby.
It's hardly only "feminists" who feel that females are entitled to equal status in their intimate sexual encounters--fully entitled to draw boundaries about what they want, and don't want, in the way of sexual contacts at any given time, whether it's with a marital partner or with someone else. Our legislators have now codified that basic right in our laws.
Stop whining and whimpering because you see your sense of sexual power and control--your particular brand of "masculinity"-- being eroded by the laws that empower women or male partners to equally exert their will. It's the entire notion of equality that threatens you--you don't want equality, you want
sexual power and dominance over females..
That's how rapists think too...