Is there something very wrong with an 18 year old girl and 44 year old man dating?

@OmSigDAVID,

My stepmom. I'm a couple of years younger than she is.

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@chelsieshay,

Read your post. If you were happy about the way things are going I don't think you wouldn't have posted that. It's not about how others view your relationship, but how you feel about it.

Ask yourself what you really want, and act accordingly.

1 Reply

@izzythepush,

My husband was the first guy I ever dated that was around my age ( he's 2 years older). It's nice to be able to laugh at the things concerning our generation, understand similar music, etc. I didn't have that in my first marriage and greatly missed it.

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@Germlat,

Germlat wrote:

My husband was the first guy I ever dated that was around my age ( he's 2 years older). It's nice to be able to laugh at the things concerning our generation, understand similar music, etc. I didn't have that in my first marriage and greatly missed it.

How old was your first husband ?

Y did u marry him ?

1 Reply

@OmSigDAVID,

OmSigDAVID wrote:

Germlat wrote:
My husband was the first guy I ever dated that was around my age ( he's 2 years older). It's nice to be able to laugh at the things concerning our generation, understand similar music, etc. I didn't have that in my first marriage and greatly missed it.

How old was your first husband ?

Y did u marry him ?

He was close to 12 years older...I was very young though. I married him because I didn't know how to say no....it didn't last.

1 Reply

@chelsieshay,

chelsieshay wrote:

I have been having an online relationship with a 44 year old man for around five months. We started talking on an instant messaging service and have been dating ever since.

I don't think there is automatically something wrong with people of different generations dating, but it's a really individual thing.

how are things when you are together in person?

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@Germlat,

Germlat wrote:

OmSigDAVID wrote:

Germlat wrote:
My husband was the first guy I ever dated that was around my age ( he's 2 years older). It's nice to be able to laugh at the things concerning our generation, understand similar music, etc. I didn't have that in my first marriage and greatly missed it.

How old was your first husband ?

Y did u marry him ?

He was close to 12 years older...I was very young though. I married him because I didn't know how to say no....it didn't last.

For whatever it is worth:
in another century, I had a best friend (were were both straight)
who was about 25 years older than I was. I enjoyed his wisdom
and his different perspective on life. He was a very good friend.
I took him in as a guest for some years, into my real estate,
during which some valuable jewelry of mine disappeared.
Tho I dont know what happened to it, even if he did mis-appropriate it,
his friendship and his advice far exceeded the value of the jewelry.
Friendship is a valuable asset in life.

David

1 Reply

@OmSigDAVID,

You wrote,

Quote:

Friendship is a valuable asset in life.

You have a strange value system. You say friendship is a valuable asset, but you don't hold that value for other human's lives.

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@cicerone imposter,

Quote:

You have a strange value system.

strange is this unwillingness to hold friends to standards. "dont steal from me" is an obvious one.

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@hawkeye10,

hawkeye10 wrote:

Quote:
You have a strange value system.

strange is this unwillingness to hold friends to standards.
"dont steal from me" is an obvious one.

I was bringing out the point
that the value of his friendship and of his advice was greater
than the gold, diamonds and ruby of the missing jewelry.
IF I had it in my prescient foresight that he 'd actually steal it from me
in the future, before I invited him in as a guest for a few years (until he left
and again when he eventually returned) I definitely woud have still
invited him in. (I might have kept a closer eye on my jewelry.)
He was destitute b4 he began to collect his veteran's pension.
It was my practice to begift him with leather wallets stuffed full
of different denominations of cash at Christmas time and for his birthday.
My un-certainty qua the missing jewelry did not affect the generosity of my gifts to him.
(Lest there be any doubt, I re-iterate that we both preferred the ladies & I was massively obsessed with 1.)
In my mind, he was family, regardless of jewelry. It is possible that he was 1OO% innocent.
I am very pleased, glad n satisfied to have had his company, wisdom n counsel for those years.

David

1 Reply

@Butrflynet,

Butrflynet wrote:

No where in her post did she ask about the legality of it.

How come I can't give that more than one thumb up?

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@contrex,

Lord love an optimist.

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@OmSigDAVID,

You have the right to make your own choices - no matter how scatter brained they are! LOL

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@chelsieshay,

If a middle aged man likes them young, 18 is as young as he can go without risking jail. Expect that by the time you're 20, he'd want to trade you in for a younger one. Tigers don't change their stripes.

1 Reply

@Banana Breath,

That doesn't make any sense to me.

I would be happy being 46 with a 20 year old girlfriend, I would be happy being 56 with a 30 year old girlfriend.

More likely, the girlfriend will move on. 18 year olds tend to have shorter relationships than 44 year olds. There would be nothing wrong with her dating this guy for the experience and then moving on if it doesn't work out.

When you are 18, it is time to try lots of different things.

1 Reply

@maxdancona,

maxdancona wrote:

That doesn't make any sense to me.

I would be happy being 46 with a 20 year old girlfriend, I would be happy being 56 with a 30 year old girlfriend.

More likely, the girlfriend will move on. 18 year olds tend to have shorter relationships than 44 year olds. There would be nothing wrong with her dating this guy for the experience and then moving on if it doesn't work out.

When you are 18, it is time to try lots of different things.

I AGREE with Max.

David

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I've heard about that kind of age differential working, usually with some older male scientist or one in some academic esoteric field living with and fostering a female protege, a mix of apparent intellectual and sexual bonding and maybe a bit of adoration/crush happening from both people. And I figure cultures vary wildly across the globe on this, with or without brains melding.

I'm a female who has been attracted to a lot older men a bunch of times, but never dated one greatly older. Eight years when you are thirty yourself is not what I'd call a lot older and then I don't think twenty or thirty years is 'out of line', given you aren't immature at thirty.

I won't say it can't work, 18/44, but I'd like the young one to be quite a bit past eighteen. Eighteen is when we are really just beginning to grasp the ways of the world, even when we think we know all that, and explore who we are, and I think there is a natural power differential going on with an older master sort, that is not a great thing for the way younger one to seriously pair up. Gremlat addressed those issues. I'll grant that it could be great, am wary, especially re online.

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@chelsieshay,

For the average 18 year old and average 44 year old -- unlikely that it would be a good match/tend to last. But there are always exceptions to the rule.

When I was 18 for example, I would have been way too immature to even want to be with a 44 year old. At 18 I was being a typical young person. I changed greatly even from 18 to 21 and then again from 21 to about 25. At that age you are just starting out on your own and in many cases you are still going to school and are even yet independent.

Look at it this way, a man of 44 has been independent for a couple of decades (unless he is living in his mom's basement ---which would be much worse).

I just cannot imagine at 18 I would want a serious relationship with him --- although I could understand why you might enjoy talking with him. You also do not mention any romantic feelings you seem to have with him.

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@Linkat,

Quote:

But there are always exceptions to the rule.

Woody Allen and Soon-Yi.

Wait, maybe this is an argument against.

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@Linkat,

Linkat wrote:

For the average 18 year old and average 44 year old -- unlikely that it would be a good match/tend to last. But there are always exceptions to the rule.

When I was 18 for example, I would have been way too immature to even want to be with a 44 year old. At 18 I was being a typical young person. I changed greatly even from 18 to 21 and then again from 21 to about 25. At that age you are just starting out on your own and in many cases you are still going to school and are even yet independent.

Look at it this way, a man of 44 has been independent for a couple of decades (unless he is living in his mom's basement ---which would be much worse).

To me, that seems odd.
I can t remember changing,
except looking fatter n uglier now.

David

1 Reply

Is there something very wrong with an 18 year old girl and 44 year old man dating?

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