What should I do, should I forgive my boyfriend and how?

"Once you start believing random chicks over your BF the relationship is as good as toast."


Yes, but nobody should assume that she will believe this girl. Tee is "gathering data", how she chooses to analyze this data is up to her. She has to realize that there is a probability for sabotage through deception, and must use that in considering her evolved Hypothesis as she goes through the process again.

Why don't you accept that she also stated "what's done is done" that she is hesitant to go down that path of "gathering data" .

This is your belief Victor. Don't push it down someone's throat.

then she'll have to tell her boyfriend that she has told another friend that she thinks he did something inappropriate and that the friend will be contacting one of the girls he's been texting

and what good does that do? nothing. It will still tell tee nothing about her boyfriend's intent. She knows what she has evidence of. It remains at - he texted - he suggested getting together with at least one other girl.

she either has to be cool with him contacting other women or not.

"One of my girlfriends who has seen how much this has hurt me has found the girl on facebook and wants to contact her and see what else went on. I'm not opposed to this, but more apprehensive as it is snooping and whats done is done. Another part of me does want to know the whole story and if I was lied to then I'm done. At this point I'm not sure how to proceed because I was to learn to trust again. Its a hard place to be in."

"whats done is done" meaning her friend already found the girl on facebook. This does not mean that contacting the girl is done.

My posts were inspired by you, Ehbeth, and others who were adamant about Tee not finding out any more information due to "only negative outcomes".

There is a lot of positive that can come from talking to that girl directly.

If you take a second to read my posts, you will see the last thing I do is speak in commands, I only mention suggestions and probabilities based on the information provided. To give one definitive answer without conclusive universal deductive reasoning is not my style. Which is exactly why I had to jump in when 3 of you were agreeing as if you knew 100% nothing good could come from it. Just look up 1 post at EhBeth and you see what I mean, its very reckless to neglect other possibilities and speak in terms of guarantees.

I definitely think we have a different perspective on "trust" and "loyalty" in terms of a relationship and maybe that is why we disagree on this fact. I do believe he has done something wrongful and he also understands he has.

I would never write a message like that to another man just simply because it is implying that we are more than friends, so he did do something wrong. Its not an open relationship where we freely think its okay to do something like that. Its hurtful and wrong because ultimately it will hurt someone. The terms of our relationship were made when we decided to commit to one another, and thus this is wrong.

Perceptively if it was you and your significant other and you saw a message like that you would probably have feelings of uneasiness. He knows he did something wrong and then pretended it wasn't as bad as it seemed because he was embarrassed. If that happened to me I would also be embarrassed and ashamed.

All I ask is for him to be completely open and honest regardless of if its going to hurt my feelings, I would rather know then down the road realize that part of our relationship was based on lies and hiding things from one another.

I agree that there could be a good outcome from it. In no way would I ever be abrasive to someone who had no idea what was going on. I really just want honesty and sometimes people do crazy things to fight for their relationships but also for themselves.

Approaching and finding this girl is something that I would like to do, its something that would ultimately help me figure out a lot of questions I have been asking myself.

Thank you for replying and sharing your opinion, out of all the posters on here I really do value your advice and your bigger picture outlook.

Thanks again.