I am unsure about my date

You are going to have to be more specific for anyone to give an intelligent response. What does a "bad experience" mean? It is really hard to give any response without knowing more about what happened.

Many of us have had sex with someone and then regretted it. That is a fairly common experience. You try to learn from it and then move on. We aren't defined by a single experience.

Of course, if you were forced to have sex, then that would be a different story.

The date went well until we started to almost have sex.
We were undressed and was on top of me, I was ok at first until he tried to penetrate me.

The problem I have is as he tried pushing, it hurt so I pushed him away but he tried again and and I pushed him away, after a few more tries his thing started enter me a couple inches and I changed my mind because I got scared and then said no.

He didn't like this a proceeded to carry on and I couldn't stop him, he was too strong and angry. He told me after that it was fine what he did as he had actually penetrated me without me saying no.

I feel confused about whether he forced me or if what he said was true

You have at least two choices. I have no idea about how old you are or if you are in school or not (and you should be careful about saying too much here... even though it is anonymous you run a risk of being identified).

At the very least, he acted badly. "Strong and Angry" is not good sex. A good person listens to what his or her partner wants all the way through and will back off at any point. You should tell him to buzz off (with whatever exact words you would like to use). And, you should make it clear that you don't want to see him again.

If you are in college, you can report him. There are counselors and especially right now they will listen to you. You can certainly ensure that he stays away from you and they may charge him with sexual misconduct or rape.

You may want to talk to a counselor any way.

In any event, you can take legal steps to keep him away from you if that is necessary.

Agreed.

The term is date rape.

I'm not young, I'm 54. I was on a date and nervous as it's been a while for me.
I met him in a bar and we went to mine and one thing led to another. I had every intention of going through with things but it's been a long time and I've never been the biggest there so when I felt it, I got scared and it took him till about the 5th time before I said no. I will admit that his thing did start to enter me each time by a couple inches but then I said no but he didn't take that.

He did hurt me and was very rough and after he confused me by saying he had been inside so it wasn't forced. That's why I'm confused

He is wrong. You deserve to be treated better than that.

It sounds like you two starts consensual sex, then the mechanics got difficult (did you not get lubricated enough?) and you tried to let him know that you weren't ready or were no longer in the mood, but he went ahead anyway.

Is that right?

He sounds insensitive for sure. But I would not call it rape.

Have you ended it with him? Is that what you want? Or did he end it with you?

Read what jespah said in the post before this one

She said: "I had every intention of going through with things but it's been a long time and I've never been the biggest there so when I felt it, I got scared and it took him till about the 5th time before I said no."

This is not date rape. This is mechanics gone wrong.

Oh goodie!

Let's have a big mud slinging contest about what is rape, and who hates women, and who hates men. That seems like fun... and it's not like we have this discussion all the time.

It may not help anyone to have this discussion, and it will solve nothing. But, let's not let that stop us.

(Actually, forgive me, but I think I will sit this one out.)

You are 54 years old, take a man from a bar with you home, get undressed and are about to have sex, you are okay with it, but when it started hurting, you told him to stop.
Yes, he should have stopped, the very least he should have made sure that you are lubricated and completely ready.

My guess is, since you both were at the bar and drinking, you both might have had too much to drink and don't remember exactly what happened.

I am also not sure what you are asking here. You had sex with an insensitive jerk, who was drunk. I assume you were drunk too!

Nonetheless, if you tell him to stop halfway during sex, he should have stopped.

I had only one glass of white wine before we left the bar. I remember fully what happened, just incase it's unclear, I'm unsure whether him saying it was ok what he did as his thing had gone in slightly but not fully and on each occasion I pushed him away but said nothing but the look on my face should have told him I found him a bit too big, on the last try I pushed him away saying no it's too big. He didn't like it and held me down while he forced himself inside me and proceeded to have sex with me.

I am confused as it had entered me a little so is he correct it was ok for him to continue.
Also when it stopped hurting I stopped resisting and just lay there till he finished but I'm ashamed to say I could feel my body betray me wanting him to stop so I feel confused

It wasn't ok for him to continue to penetrate you once you'd told him to stop.

In some jurisdictions that would be considered rape.

What seems most obvious (to me) is that if he didn't take the time to be sure you were physically and emotionally prepared to proceed, he's a pretty lousy lover and not someone you want to consider as a sexual partner.

Hopefully he is not someone you will have to spend more time with.

no

just no

Max answered you already.



You can keep asking us - but it doesn't look like you're going to find anyone who agrees with the man who said it was ok to force you sexaully - when you did not want to be forced.

Thank you for all the replies.
He's not someone I know, I met him earlier that day and he talked me into a date.
I wouldn't go home with a date especially a first date so I feel he was talking me into it without me realising it. I accept you all saying he was wrong for forcing me to continue after I stopped and said no, but I guess he's correct in part of what he said.
I admit I changed my mind but I had also wanted to be there, and yes when I say my body betraying my mind I do mean what it sounds like

No, he's not correct. At all.

You told him to stop. He didn't. Period.

Thank you for your reply. He did tell me not to say as he told me I'd enjoyed it fully.

Hopefully you will take the time to get to know the next man you have sex with.