Asexuality-a new orientation or made up/denial/weirdoes?

Re: Reviving this thread

lisairis wrote:

what is interesting to me is your take on parenting: do you want children and how do you think your asexuality may or may not influence this? would you be interested in being interviewed?

here is my craigslist listing:

EDIT (Moderator): Link Removed
[/quote]

I guess you can't post links, you can PM me or email me your link, I'd be interested to see it.

To answer your question though...I don't want children but many asexuals do and many HAVE kids. I'm of the belief that if anyone wants a kid and they're willing to love and keep the kid...it can't be wrong. I would be happy to be interviewed.

I've heard that antidepressants can kiss a person's libido and make them asexual while they're on them. Some asexuals I know are on antidepressants.

bomerang wrote:

Now I'm wondering if maybe asexuals have a better chemical stew firing their brains......

Not really 'better', what we have isn't really any 'better' or 'worse', don't know if it's brain chemical or what but something is defnitely different!

bomerang wrote:

As to procreation, I don't think that has much to do with sex drive. There surely wouldn't be much of a market for birth control if that were true.

I agree.

0 Replies

So if you're a real asexual, you don't masturbate? Never want sex at all? No offense, but I hope you're not complaining that ex-boyfriends have left you, that should be obvious. An asexual wouldn't make a "boyfriend" or "girlfriend," they'd make a "drinking buddy."

I've been calling one of my friends an asexual for a while now(not to his face). The boy used to bang like a jackrabbit in college, now he couldn't get laid in a monkey whore house with a fistful of bananas. It's been years for him. I'm pretty sure his confidence is shot, but I gotta wonder if he might be gay. He's the only guy I know that doesn't ever talk about women...at all. He could care less.

0 Replies

Slappy Doo Hoo wrote:

So if you're a real asexual, you don't masturbate? Never want sex at all?

That's correct but the definition of asexual is just someone who doesn't experience sexual attraction. Many 'real' asexuals masturbate. I don't but many do.

Slappy Doo Hoo wrote:

No offense, but I hope you're not complaining that ex-boyfriends have left you, that should be obvious. An asexual wouldn't make a "boyfriend" or "girlfriend," they'd make a "drinking buddy."

No, my complaint is that I'm losing my drinkin' buddies. I thought it'd change once we all matured and they'd be able to spend a few hours a week away from them that they're bangin' but at age 42 I'm still waiting for it to happen. At age 42 I'm also seeing it just may never happen. I don't expect to ever understand it so it just floors me that it could make or break whether you visit with your friends or not.

Slappy Doo Hoo wrote:

I've been calling one of my friends an asexual for a while now(not to his face). The boy used to bang like a jackrabbit in college, now he couldn't get laid in a monkey whore house with a fistful of bananas. It's been years for him. I'm pretty sure his confidence is shot, but I gotta wonder if he might be gay. He's the only guy I know that doesn't ever talk about women...at all. He could care less.

Maybe he's gay, maybe he's A, maybe he's just matured and sees that banging like a jackrabbit isn't what he wants to do now, maybe he never wanted to do it but was just playin' the game. Maybe he just grew up and saw it's not necessary to report things about his sex life. Maybe he CAN get laid, he's just mature enough to not report it. As far as "he could care less" - that means that he DOES care and might want to see about it. Ifhe COULDN'T care less then yeah, maybe he IS asexual. You might want to bring it up to him and let him know he's not alone but be prepared for him to get a bit wierded out that you're interested in his sex life.

0 Replies

I'm also wondering what your history is like.

Ever had sex?
Just didn't like it?
Have you ever been sexually abused?

You don't have to go into detail, I'm just really curious as to someone could lack a natural human urge.

0 Replies

I wish I were asexual. Relationships equal pain, pain equals tears, and tears equal contemplation...

0 Replies

Slappy Doo Hoo wrote:

Ever had sex?

No

Slappy Doo Hoo wrote:

Just didn't like it?

Dunno but I haven't the fiercest desire to pursue

Slappy Doo Hoo wrote:

Have you ever been sexually abused?You don't have to go into detail, I'm just really curious as to someone could lack a natural human urge

Yes but it was long after it could have 'turned' me asexual. It was mostly someone trying to figure out how someone could lack a natural human urge and tried to prove me wrong. They didn't believe me. They probably still don't. Don't worry, I'll spare the details.

Child Of The Light wrote:

I wish I were asexual. Relationships equal pain, pain equals tears, and tears equal contemplation...

You don't understand. Asexuality and relationships don't necessarily run hand in hand.

0 Replies

I think it's possible for quite "normal" (whatever that means! :wink: ) people to choose not to have sexual lives, for a period of time, or perhaps indefinitely. For starters, it could be a political decision. A choice not to be manipulated by the current views on sex, as perpetrated by the popular media. Or, maybe a desire to put one's energy into other, more important things .... I don't think it's abnormal at all, necessarily ...

0 Replies

I understand and mostly agree with msolga's take, a post or so ago...

but still, I think hormones chart courses, and descriptions follow. Thus I think it is reasonable that some folk's package of hormones/genes leaves them in a sort of neutral, effectually, and in affect.

But I don't envy anyone living at the null-line, as there is all this other conjecture nattering at you.

0 Replies

msolga wrote:

I think it's possible for quite "normal" (whatever that means! :wink: ) people to choose not to have sexual lives, for a period of time, or perhaps indefinitely.

Yes, they're celibates, different from asexuals. Celibates choose to live sexless lives. I experience no sexual attraction whatsoever. It's like there are gays who live heterosexual lives, get married and settle down for, as you said a period of time or indefinitely "til death us do part". Could be because they don't want to risk losing family if they come out or they don't 'want' to be gay but no matter how long they live in the lifestyle, they're not going to be sexually attracted to the opposite sex. They can be emotionally, physically (aesthetically) attracted totally madly dedicated to their spouse, which, a lot of the time is what keeps them from coming out. They don't want to lose that special person.

Likewise, there are plenty of asexuals who live the married life for the same reason. They have a partner they're madly in love with, want to spend the rest of their life with, want kids and a family but experience no sexual attraction to the person. Often they don't tell them because people tend to think of 'not being sexually attracted' to someone means that you don't love them 100%. My mum doesn't listen to me. Not that she doesn't love me 100% but because she's deaf. It's the same thing. we can use the sign language, we can write notes to each other but at the end of the day, she still doesn't hear my voice.

0 Replies

cijaym wrote:

Child Of The Light wrote:
I wish I were asexual. Relationships equal pain, pain equals tears, and tears equal contemplation...

You don't understand. Asexuality and relationships don't necessarily run hand in hand.

Well, sex usually leads to relationships, relationships usually lead to pain, pain usually leads to tears, and tears usually lead to contemplation. I'm not sure what I don't understand.

I too don't understand how anyone could not want to pursue sex. Shocked

Come on dude, BOOBS! They are great! How can you not want to play with them and such?!? Shocked

But I digress.

0 Replies

Asexuality-a new orientation or made up/denial/weirdoes?

Related Topics

Quick Links

My Account

able2know