@Mollybear2014,
Mollybear2014 wrote:
Sadness prevails in my life. I've not achieved what I wanted to do nor have the money to do things. I'm afraid I'll die an unhappy person.
It's not really possible to fully understand another's situation, but I can tell you what I have learned in my own life and in observing the lives of those close to me. I believe the key point is that happiness is largely a choice. We all face troubles, challenges and the sting of unfulfilled wants and ambitions. We all face decay and death. Whether, despite that, we find peace and joy in the ephemeral peaceful and joyful things that pass through our days and lives is something largely of our own choosing.
There is a passage in Tolstoy's War and Peace that bears on this. The principal character in the novel, Pierre Bezukhov (who wanders through the novel trying to figure out the meaning of his life) is captured by the retreating French army in its winter flight from Moscow and Russia. The French soldiers are starving and succumbing to the frost and the partisans, while their prisoners have it even worse. In the midst of this Pierre is described as discovering that "there is a limit to joy and a limit to sorrow, and those limits are soon reached. He realized that a man "suffering from a crumpled petal in his bed of roses may suffer just as much as he". That's a bit of a stretch, but it illustrates a point.
The fact repeated pleasure often yields only satiety and sometimes boredom reminds us that hunger is truly the best sauce. The joys and pleasures we miss and sometimes envy have their price and their limitations as well. The pain and discomforts we experience are merely their counterpoint.
I think its the small things in life, the exchanged smile with a stranger, a small act of kindness to another that make a day worth having and a life worth living. There's something interesting to be found in nearly everyone we meet or merely encounter. Trying to find it, even in superficial daily transactions can be very fulfilling.