Is this acceptable from a would be girlfriend?

Don't look back. If you've actually shared your 'discomfort', and I'm sure you have, she has absolute zero respect for your feelings and for you. It's not likely to change in the future.

Well, dude, I get it. I think you received a lot of really good advice from people across a wide spectrum of opinions.

I couldn't deal with it either. I prefer non-muss, low fuss people - and a bunch of baby mama drama and messy family relationships isn't something I choose to deal with at this time in my life.

The thing is: know what you're willing to deal with. Be honest with the person. If you're getting the honest story - and she's only putting them up to help her kid experience continuity and see her parents as an effective parenting unit who help each other, wow. What a great thing they're doing for the kid.

If this is partially true, but they still like to get nekkid once in a while - or your money is finding it's way into his pocket - or (100 other things shady things that may be lurking behind this scenario)...

I guess the word for the day is trust.

Do you trust her? Is having her in your life worth feeling like a chump as long as this dude is in residence?

Eh.

The couple can teach their daughter whatever they think is best, but that doesn't require Egghead to be part of the lesson.

I really don't see how the lesson that Mom and Dad are friends (which if we are to believe Egghead, they are not) requires the friends to live together.

...and if I didn't make that clear, I will now. I would never be a part of a relationship like the one eggman described. I AM saying if they are on the up and up - kudos to them -

but without me as a girlfriend. I suggest eggman walks away.

My comment was in response to what Buttermilk wrote.

I felt my rambling response could use clarification.

1) I'm not entirely sure of why they broke up but from her side of the story he wasn't faithful, was abusive, and a bit of a lush? One sided of course, I don't talk to him, I don't even want to be over there anymore really.
2) I believe it is financial although she has told me she doesn't want to 'rip her child from him' paraphrasing her words? I believe it makes her life easier with care & cost. She has said he is a good father but was previously complaining how he doesn't offer up any financial support when she has him?
3) She has said it is temporary but I have no idea how temporary or what? She says she is uncomfortable with him there and he does not respect her privacy. I'm wondering wtf he's there for then?? What did you expect of us and from him by making this decision? I agree with you that they can & hopefully should be cordial and responsible for the sake of the child but bringing him into her house?? A very bad idea IMO as well for many reasons.

Roger I think you are right. Thank you.

Nods.

Yes, this totally makes me feel and look like a chump. I do not trust this. She wants to put herself in a situation where my trust is compromised then manifestly it will be. Unacceptable

Eggman..lol
I agree Lash. She needs to make the choice she feels is best but there are consequences to those choices-in this case without me.

Now that I know more, I agree. What a mess, in any case.

I appreciate every response, in agreement or disagreement. It has really helped me to think this through. Thank you much!

I wish you the best however this turns out. For me, any involvement beyond casual contact from this point forward would be far too much drama to be worthwhile. I'm a minimal drama sort of guy.

The innocent bystander is the child. I hope the best for you all...but primarily, I hope the child benefits from whatever lies in the future. For you, I hope you get peace and fulfillment but it seems as though being away from any intimate contact is a good idea.

Good advice.

Once a relationship ends, it's best that it ends cleanly and, at least for a good long while, completely. I'm sure there are folks who can maintain more than a very limited friendship after the romance and sex is over, but I think they are the exceptions and not the rule.

Not a good situation IHO.

1) According to her, he was an alcoholic and abusive?

Seriouly think about it...They have a child so already they have a bond. Then old feeling arise then they become intimate then you never know. She told you she wants things easier on her! She should have use contraception! The real kicker is she is willing to house an abusive drunk in her home under the pretence that its best for the child are you ******* kidding me? No disrespect to you but she is either dumb or still in love.

What woman moves an abusive drunk whose an ex back in her home while having a current boyfriend. Yea sure its her child but that situation stinks...This is a red flag bro.

And yet she's invited him back to live with her!
I bet they're both saying "We hope Egghead takes the hint and buggers off..

Alcoholic and abusive, so she wants to move him for the good of the child. I'm not thinking anyone has a future with this woman.

Seriously. It's a recipe for disaster.

You're jealous. Understandable. You have to either reconcile with it or not. Don't drag it out.