@PUNKEY,
Punkey - the ability to reduce the 'need for attention' is very difficult to almost impossible when she is living in a loveless, hateful marriage. Logically what you say is fine...but our brains don't work that way...
...our brain is not a single organ (as many believe). There are several areas of the brain with their own imperatives - and these imperatives (after they play out) - don't always agree. More importantly still, parts of the brain tend to override other parts. There is a part that deals with instinct, another that deals with emotions, and another that deals with logic (and a few other minor parts too). When it's called on, the instinctual 'brain' usually wins out over the emotional and logical brains. When it's called on, the emotional brain usually wins out over the logical brain. When the Instinctual & emotional brains are in agreement, the logical brain almost always loses...even if it takes some time.
That is not to say that we can't train our brain to not react to either emotions or instinct (the OP's post, trying not to give in, is an example of this)...but eventually, for most people...the more extreme the drive of the instinctive & emotional brain, the less chance they have of eventually 'succumbing'.
Emotionally, we (almost) all want happiness (and if we don't have it, we emotionally want to move towards it...but we can also emotionally fear the process & repurcussions).
Instinctively (and emotionally), we all want to love & be loved.
It's not surprising then that a loving "marriage/partner/union" is what many of us want...and in many ways...need (if we but realised it). Less surprising still is that most people, when they don't have it...find themselves moving towards it - even if they don't realise what they are doing.
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