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Wed 21 May, 2014 07:48 am
I have feelings for my ex boss. I was his house manager about 10 years ago and left to go back to school. We are 5 years apart in age. We are both recently divorced (less than 5 years) and we both have kids. I am hopelessly in love with him. He has already said he wants no part of any relationship anytime soon and frankly neither do I, but the heart wants what the heart wants. We talk almost everyday for at least an hour, sometimes more. We have so much in common it's like he is a male me! Now he has always been the type of man who is comfortable around women and has many female friends, so I can't read him worth a damn. I did mention once about kissing him and he said he was flattered yada..yada..yada, so I let it drop, gave him some space and went back to pining for him in secret again. Should we just stay friends and see if it blooms into something more? Should I keep him as a friend but focus my romantic feelings on someone else? I think I am going to go "full radio silence" on him and see if he chases me, that might help too, right?
@Alaskcanboundgirl,
I think maybe you need to pull back. A lot.
And don't go full radio silence in order to get him to chase you and play other silly games. Instead, go full radio silence in order to get your head together. Maybe think of why you're pining for someone who said he didn't want a relationship. Maybe think of why you're contradictory - saying you don't want a relationship yet fantasizing about this guy.
@Alaskcanboundgirl,
"We talk almost everyday for at least an hour, sometimes more......"
An hour a day? More? And he's a bloke? A bloke who willingly talks that much every single day?
I'd read about this phenomenon, but never for one minute did I think that It was real.
Blimey.
@Lordyaswas,
I think this might just be Equestrian, wearing an older girls skin. If we hear the phrase (I secretly watch him for hours behind a tree) it's our little stalker, back in business. Just saying
@glitterbag,
I am not sure what any of that means. I am here to get a variety of opinions, yes even the ones I don't want to hear. I don't discuss my personal life at work, my parents are dead, any close girlfriends, or any friend for that matter, got scared off by my ex-husband, so I am just putting it out there. I am way too old (and tired :-} ) to be stalking anyone. He is just so easy to love but I don't think I can handle being his friend while watching him get involved with a future girlfriend. I am hoping if I just continue to be that friend that he turns to, that one day in the future I will be the one he loves.
@Alaskcanboundgirl,
I would urge you not you pin all your hopes on something that might never happen. While you wait for him to realize you are the girl of his dreams, you may overlook the friendship and possibilities of men you meet. Are you willing to spend the rest of your life, or most of it waiting for him to come to his senses? Please don't do that, you might never find another man that meets the fantasy of having this man, but please live your life. My parents are also dead, people die, he could die (I hope not) but complete control of this shared destiny with him might not ever happen. Make friends, don't waste your life on what might be, learn to live your life in an enjoyable fashion.
Quote:Alaska said: I think I am going to go "full radio silence" on him and see if he chases me, that might help too, right?
Oh come on, you're not a shy scatterbrained lovestruck kid are you?
For heavens sake be an adult and just tell him straight out how you feel about him, then sit back and see what happens..
If you are truly bound for Alaska, i suggest that you might want to learn how to spell Alaskan. Then again, maybe you don't care.
Talks for more than an hour a day!
Willingly!!
He's not John Barrowman, is he?
@Setanta,
Come now, I made a little play on words. Seriously, am I going to get chastised for improper use of a word?
@Alaskcanboundgirl,
Is it a code?
Hmmmmmm....I know.....
Alas, Kickycan bound girl.
Is he up to his old tricks again?
@Lordyaswas,
Sounds like restless mouth syndrome.
Watch out!
@neologist,
I still have no idea what you people are talking about and to be honest with you I think I'm ok with that. It doesn't seem to be a very popular place to begin with. So before this gets anymore off topic I will bid you adieu, I hope you are all pleased as punch with yourselves and the perfect lives that you lead.
@chai2,
Do you think she's knows where the expression "pleased as Punch" comes from?
@chai2,
Yah, yah, Punch...wife beating serial killer puppet. Honestly, do you actually think I am some former child who used to troll these boards? I have to go.
Told ya'll she'd be back.
Want to see me do it again?
@glitterbag,
glitterbag wrote:
I would urge you not you pin all your hopes on something that might never happen. While you wait for him to realize you are the girl of his dreams, you may overlook the friendship and possibilities of men you meet. Are you willing to spend the rest of your life, or most of it waiting for him to come to his senses? Please don't do that, you might never find another man that meets the fantasy of having this man, but please live your life. My parents are also dead, people die, he could die (I hope not) but complete control of this shared destiny with him might not ever happen. Make friends, don't waste your life on what might be, learn to live your life in an enjoyable fashion.
Well so much for looking for help, I provided the above in a sincere effort to help you. We see so many pretenders here, most of us respond in a smart ass fashion. But you said you really were looking for help, so I gave it my best effort. Thanks for crapping all over my attempt to help. Visit, don't visit, you are on your own.
@glitterbag,
Actually both you and Jesper are the only 2 that offered any sane advice, and if I am being honest with myself, the answers that I knew was right all along. Am I safe to assume that you are both female and of an age? The other responses are on par with what I think I would have gotten if I proposed my question to a classroom of 7th grade boys, minus burping the answers. Anyhow. I was hoping my fairy godmother would come along and tell me what I wanted to hear, but in the face of reality that was not meant to be. I thank you for your help.
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