Is my boyfriend abusive or will be become abusive?

You really have to ask?

All that and he has access to your phone directory and facebook? He's abusive and will become worse.

You didn't ask, but I will suggest you make arraignments for a future that doesn't include him.

Yeah. What they said

I can relate to a certain extent and must say that you need to put you first. If you're in a relationship with someone who's controlling your life that's not right nor healthy and you need to leave before anything worse happens.... Don't stick around to find out!

And when will you decide that you don't need an outside opinion, and you'll know it for sure? When he blackens your eye? When he breaks a bone? When he holds a knife to your throat? When he backhands you and leaves a mark on your face? When he has sex with you against your will? When he orders you to never see your family again?

Because things like that are coming, if you stick around.

Pack a bag. Take cash. Go to your parents'. If they won't take you, or they are no longer living, go to a friend. If no friends will take you, or they don't live close by, go to a women's shelter.

You do not have to live this way. You do not deserve to be treated this way. You do not have to stay.

Oh my God this guy is a jerk. Please believe me you a playing with fire. He's going to get worse. Not only will he get worse, he will not let you go easily. He thinks you're property, his property. This rough treatment is assault, pure and simple. I don't know where you live or what your family situation is like, but you must let others know what is happening to you. You will need to be careful and get the hell away from him while you still can. Whatever you do, DO NOT QUIT YOUR JOB.
All I can tell you for sure is that if I hadn't insisted on keeping my job, I never would have been able to escape my first husband. I thought I married a wonderful man, I constantly had to reassure him, the more assurances I gave him the more suspicious he got. He was unfaithful, I didn't know because he seemed to worry constantly that someone at work would steal me away from him. I became isolated from my friends and didn't even realize it.
It all came apart one night after hours of him screaming, threatening to kill allbofcus,throwing all my plants on the floor, tearing the drapes off the window until I finally calmed him down and convinced him to rest on the bed. I cleaned up the broken pottery, swept up the potting soil and wash the floor. I was exhausted and walked into the living room to rest on the sofa. No sooner did I lay down I heard the bolt come back on his rifle. I had to beg him to put the gun down, when he did I fainted. I have never before or since fainted because of fear.
Please, don't ignore your reservations, you know you are in danger. Don't let it go as far as I did. I'm lucky to be alive, I want you to live a long natural life.

Ow! I hope you are free and safe now.

3 words ; GET OUT NOW!

If you can't find somewhere to stay with a friend, family or religious organization, go to the nearest shelter. Your life may depend upon it.

I was only 23 when I married my nightmare. When I finally saw the light, there was no going back to him. I loved being single, living with my very young son. My marriage in retrospect was a nightmare that I was too dim to figure out. I really thought I would never marry again, but I met my husband and we really clicked. We've been married 35 years, he raised my son as his own and the extra bennie, we love each other, we support each other, of course we get angry with each other over stupid stuff but it never lasts long.

I was lucky and perhaps smart enough to not make the same mistake twice. Some women and some men get re-involved with additional abusive people. I think life is too short to be unhappy the entire time.

What's wrong with you??? Seriously, do any women grab your hair and scream, LOOK AT ME, LOOK AT ME WHEN IM TALKING. I don't care if she took a dump on the hood of his car, he can't push her, grab her neck or scream ay her. If you think this is normal male behaviour, then your dad must have been a lousy excuse for a man. You have never been married, thank you for never reproducing and exposing children to your sick sense of entitlement.

The answer to your stupid ass question is, she didn't do whatever she did in front of her father, her brother, a policeman or even me. She has gotten involved with a mini-man who can only dream what it must be like to be a man when he knocks her around a little.

Is that the kind of mini-man you are, romeo fabuliniless. You are despicable, and a sorry excuse for a human.

I turn my head, or move a little because I'm trying to get myself together because I don't want too argue or fight.

When I date women, I soon ditch 'em if they don't shape up, and if I was a woman I'd soon ditch a man if he didn't shape up.
If women stick with an abusive guy it's their own fault for not having the guts to ditch him.
"If you hang around with losers, you become a loser"- Donald Trump

Are you saying you think he manhandles you because you flinch when he grabs your hair or puts his hands around your neck????? Just because mr. Big Man pussy pants wants to restrain you because he's having a tantrum DOES NOT MEAN HE CAN. If you start believing you're the reason he gets angry, you will be totally lost. Have you ever seen a women with a bruised face, black eye and split lip and her abuser screams "look what you made me do"? Please get some help and don't answer people who want to know what YOU did, to deserve being treated like a punching bag.

Another outstanding post.

Mind you, some women like the thrill of being in an abusive relationship with a violent man.
Hell-raiser Oliver Reed once said- "Sure I knock my women around a bit but they don't complain"

PS- it cuts both ways because some men like to be involved with abusive women..

After the incident were he forced me too give him oral sex he was extremely sympathetic but he has admitted that he needs therapy accepting the fact that he's actually wrong some of the time. So now he's going too receive therapy for that. He was abused physically, verbally, and emotionally until the age of 16.

It's not your responsibility to fix this guy's issues, and certainly not to be on the receiving end of his punches while he (maybe) attempts to improve himself.

BTW, big time apologizing after abuse is pretty classic in the cycle of abuse.

Fine, but you should not consider yourself a part of his therapy.