After the incident were he forced me too give him oral sex he was extremely sympathetic but he has admitted that he needs therapy accepting the fact that he's actually wrong some of the time. So now he's going too receive therapy for that. He was abused physically, verbally, and emotionally until the age of 16.
Sweet Jesus, it's taken me 30 minutes to absorb the idea this thug was sympathetic, what in Gods name does that mean???? All I can think of is him saying, oh dear that must have been unpleasant for you, what a shame. You didn't even say he polo fizzed and promised it would never happen again. That the usual bullshit you hear from an abuser, not " gosh, I see how that might have been stressful for you"
This is classic "oh poor me, I had it tough growing up, and I promise I'll get help". Let me translate this for you: "oh ****, maybe I went too far, and she will wise up and leave me. But wait, let me lard on some bullshit about how I suffer more than she can possibly understand. Sure, that will work, who doesn't feel sorry for the guy who forced them to provide oral sex because the guy is so freaking messed up by his childhood"
My abuser blamed his mother for his maltreatment of me, then of course sometimes it was his dirtbag father, it was everybody except him. He loved me, he worshiped me except for those times he was making my life miserable.
The absolute bottom line is, if you want to be afraid, unhappy,beaten, and forced to, submit to every sexual demand he comes up with, stay with him. It will get worse, he will scream and berate you in front of any children born of this unhealthy union, he will belittle you in front of others, until you evaporate into a vapor. You were smart enough to broach this topic, please please please get rid of this creep. Even married people have loving consensual sex, any man that forces you to perform on demand is a sex offender, the county publishes the names of sex offenders by zip code. If I were you, I would check your zip code and make sure his name is not listed. I am dead serious, I bet you are not the first woman he has treated like this. If you are smart enough to drop this guy, he will go shopping for another punching bag. Hopefully the next one gets out before she suffers like you do.
If you don't look out for yourself, why will anybody else. Essentially this man is a stranger to you, he's not a child born with issues that you are responsible for and need to protect. I know it's not easy, I loved my first husband, I absorbed a lot of abuse because I worried more about his feelings than I did about mine. The ugly truth is, he cared more about himself also, and my well being was of little interest to him. You will need to get distance and time before you stop feeling sorry for him. You need to think about what your life will be 30 years from now....not sure? I am, it will be so muchworse than it is now.