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Is my boyfriend abusive or will be become abusive?

 
 
chai2
 
  1  
Fri 2 May, 2014 05:00 pm
@MrsYoung,
Interesting how he becomes sympathetic AFTER he gets his oral sex, or whatever else he wants.

And I suppose he gets sympathetic and/or apologetic every single time after he does something like this.

Frankly, I won't be holding my breath for the post where you say he actually went to therapy.
That "I'm going to get help, I swear" will give him months and months of extra time to do whatever he wants with you.
0 Replies
 
contrex
 
  1  
Fri 2 May, 2014 05:03 pm
@roger,
roger wrote:
arraignments


Freudian slip? An appropriate one.
0 Replies
 
Romeo Fabulini
 
  1  
Fri 2 May, 2014 10:07 pm
Quote:
MrsYoung said: he forced me too give him oral sex

You should have bit it off
glitterbag
 
  2  
Fri 2 May, 2014 10:13 pm
@MrsYoung,
MrsYoung wrote:

After the incident were he forced me too give him oral sex he was extremely sympathetic but he has admitted that he needs therapy accepting the fact that he's actually wrong some of the time. So now he's going too receive therapy for that. He was abused physically, verbally, and emotionally until the age of 16.


Sweet Jesus, it's taken me 30 minutes to absorb the idea this thug was sympathetic, what in Gods name does that mean???? All I can think of is him saying, oh dear that must have been unpleasant for you, what a shame. You didn't even say he polo fizzed and promised it would never happen again. That the usual bullshit you hear from an abuser, not " gosh, I see how that might have been stressful for you"

This is classic "oh poor me, I had it tough growing up, and I promise I'll get help". Let me translate this for you: "oh ****, maybe I went too far, and she will wise up and leave me. But wait, let me lard on some bullshit about how I suffer more than she can possibly understand. Sure, that will work, who doesn't feel sorry for the guy who forced them to provide oral sex because the guy is so freaking messed up by his childhood"

My abuser blamed his mother for his maltreatment of me, then of course sometimes it was his dirtbag father, it was everybody except him. He loved me, he worshiped me except for those times he was making my life miserable.

The absolute bottom line is, if you want to be afraid, unhappy,beaten, and forced to, submit to every sexual demand he comes up with, stay with him. It will get worse, he will scream and berate you in front of any children born of this unhealthy union, he will belittle you in front of others, until you evaporate into a vapor. You were smart enough to broach this topic, please please please get rid of this creep. Even married people have loving consensual sex, any man that forces you to perform on demand is a sex offender, the county publishes the names of sex offenders by zip code. If I were you, I would check your zip code and make sure his name is not listed. I am dead serious, I bet you are not the first woman he has treated like this. If you are smart enough to drop this guy, he will go shopping for another punching bag. Hopefully the next one gets out before she suffers like you do.

If you don't look out for yourself, why will anybody else. Essentially this man is a stranger to you, he's not a child born with issues that you are responsible for and need to protect. I know it's not easy, I loved my first husband, I absorbed a lot of abuse because I worried more about his feelings than I did about mine. The ugly truth is, he cared more about himself also, and my well being was of little interest to him. You will need to get distance and time before you stop feeling sorry for him. You need to think about what your life will be 30 years from now....not sure? I am, it will be so muchworse than it is now.



neologist
 
  3  
Fri 2 May, 2014 11:08 pm
@Romeo Fabulini,
MrsYoung wrote:
. . . he forced me too give him oral sex
Romeo Fabulini wrote:
You should have bit it off
What do you think Jesus would say about your considerate advice, Romeo?
0 Replies
 
contrex
 
  1  
Sat 3 May, 2014 12:25 am
@glitterbag,
glitterbag wrote:
he polo fizzed

What does "polo fizzed" mean?
Butrflynet
 
  1  
Sat 3 May, 2014 12:46 am
@contrex,
It is an auto correction for a typo or misspelling of apologized.
roger
 
  1  
Sat 3 May, 2014 12:52 am
@Butrflynet,
The more I see of auto correct the more I think it needs to go back in the oven and finish baking before being loosed on an unsuspecting public.
0 Replies
 
contrex
 
  4  
Sat 3 May, 2014 02:55 am
@Butrflynet,
Butrflynet wrote:

It is an auto correction for a typo or misspelling of apologized.

I was prepared to believe it was some new slang expression that hadn't yet crossed the Atlantic. I even did a Google*, which showed me that there was a 1990s Rowntree candy product and also a non-alcoholic cocktail, both called Polo Fizz.

*Slow day here at Contrex Towers.

0 Replies
 
Romeo Fabulini
 
  -1  
Sat 3 May, 2014 01:02 pm
Quote:
MrsYoung wrote:
. . . he forced me too give him oral sex
Romeo Fabulini wrote:
You should have bit it off
Neologist said: What do you think Jesus would say about your considerate advice, Romeo?

Careful mate or people might think you Jehovah's Witnesses haven't got a sense of humour, perish the thought!
But seeing as you ask, check this out-

Jesus said "If your hand causes you to stumble, cut it off.
And if your foot causes you to stumble, cut it off.
And if your eye causes you to stumble, pluck it out" (Mark 9:43)
"The spirit within gives life, the flesh alone is worthless" (John 6:63)
chai2
 
  1  
Sat 3 May, 2014 02:23 pm
Mrs. Young started another thread that was deleted about him forcing her to have oral sex.

I had responded before it was deleted suggesting she bite down.

I don't think Jesus ever had to think about what he would do if his head was forced down and forced to suck a guy cock.

Maybe Jesus would say "****, bite it!"
neologist
 
  1  
Sat 3 May, 2014 03:37 pm
@Romeo Fabulini,
[quote="neologist]: What do you think Jesus would say about your considerate advice, Romeo?[/quote]
Romeo Fabulini wrote:
Careful mate or people might think you Jehovah's Witnesses haven't got a sense of humour, perish the thought!
I would suggest the OP is not searching for humor.
Romeo Fabulini wrote:
But seeing as you ask, check this out-

Jesus said "If your hand causes you to stumble, cut it off.
And if your foot causes you to stumble, cut it off.
And if your eye causes you to stumble, pluck it out" (Mark 9:43)
And you haven't recognized the symbolic nature of his words? Suppose your friends would cause you to to stumble. In that case, would you not stop associating with them? Even if they were close friends? Even if it might be painful to go a separate way? What if your employment became a cause for stumbling? Internet addiction? There were many who could not follow Jesus for one reason or another. All causes for stumbling.
0 Replies
 
neologist
 
  3  
Sat 3 May, 2014 06:17 pm
@chai2,
If she takes our advice and leaves the bum, she will have no need to do something which may cause more - than - bargained - for retaliation.

Additionally, Romeo represents himself as a 'holy man'. Should he not be held to a higher standard?
chai2
 
  1  
Sat 3 May, 2014 06:29 pm
@neologist,
I don't know anything about Romeo. I don't read anything he writes.
Mine are the only standards I hold myself up to.

In addition, I don't see protecting yourself from someone as retaliation.
neologist
 
  2  
Sat 3 May, 2014 06:35 pm
@chai2,
Were anyone to clamp their teeth on any part of my anatomy, I may be grievously hurt; but I assure you, rightly or wrongly, I would retaliate with force.

She is better off leaving before that becomes an option.
chai2
 
  1  
Sat 3 May, 2014 06:41 pm
@neologist,
I'm not arguing that point. She should be gone like yesterday.

I'm saying if I bit down like that, I'm totally expecting some head slams. However when I let go, he's going to be in no condition to chase after me.
neologist
 
  1  
Sat 3 May, 2014 06:49 pm
@chai2,
Since it's still in the hypothesis stage, let's not allow that to happen.
glitterbag
 
  1  
Sat 3 May, 2014 06:57 pm
@contrex,
contrex wrote:

glitterbag wrote:
he polo fizzed

What does "polo fizzed" mean?



I don't know. I can't find it my other posts, maybe it's a typo or someone else wrote that. How was it used?
Ragman
 
  1  
Sat 3 May, 2014 06:59 pm
@glitterbag,
It was covered by Butrflynet earlier yesterday. It's spellcheck misfiring ....apologized what it should have been entered.
0 Replies
 
Romeo Fabulini
 
  -1  
Sat 3 May, 2014 07:00 pm
Quote:
Neologist said: Additionally, Romeo represents himself as a 'holy man'. Should he not be held to a higher standard?

There you go looking for trouble again mate, and as usual you've found it..Wink
You're a Jehovah's Witness and have admitted you'd let yourself and family members die rather than have a blood transfusion.
I'd never let myself or family members die, and neither would atheists, so I wonder whose "standards" God will regard as the highest on judgement day, yours or ours?
 

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