married bi sexual

I really need to talk to someone.....

Here is my story......we have been together for several years and have had threesomes with a cpl men......but has not happened in a few years. She no longer shows interest in that and I am still BI SEXUAL, thats not going to ever change! I have slept with my ex husband the whole time we have been together, but not since her and I have been married, until NOW!!! I kind of feel bad and I have not told her.....I dont know what to do. Do I tell her and talk about it and take that chance of what will happen? Or do I just not worry about it? I have told her on most occasions when him and I have had sex before. She dont like it, but knows that I need to be with a man every now and then. But her and I are married now! And we never really discused the sex thing with me another man since we have been married!!! I dont know what to do????

It sound like it's not your sexuality, so much as your selfishness, which is causing the problem. Couldn't you get a dildo (suggestion: call it "Dick") and introduce it into your sex play with her?

THE BITCH! You mean she might not want you sleeping with someone outside your marriage? How dare she. You're BI, darn it. You should be able to sleep with a man if you want to. Why should she get upset.

Look, you wanted marriage, you got married, now live up to your marriage vows. If you didn't want to be faithful, why in the name of sense did you get married?

We do use dildos in our sexual encounters! The fact is that I am BI and she has always known that!!!! YES I am selfish and she knows that also! She wanted to get married and so did I, but I still need to be with a man now and then! Yea I guess Im not sure why I put this out here, cuz I knew I would get a bad rap! And I know I deserve it!

I see where you are coming from....but she has always known that I am BI.....and I also have told her that I will NEVER be a lesbian.....she still wanted to marry me!!! If your not BI.....then you dont know what it is like to be in a relationship with wanting both sexes.....and you cant just make a choice!!! I have tried!!!!

What to do? talk to your wife about it.

I am kind of scared.....What happens if she wants to leave me? I really love her alot and can not see my life without her. One of the reason I decided to have sex with my ex is because her and I never have sex and we havent been communicating much lately.....

You're in a relationship that happens to be called marriage.

I believe you have a responsibility to be fundamentally honest with people you are in a relationship with.

Before you were married, did you and your wife talk about sexual fidelity? if so, what was the determination? is sexual fidelity important to you and your wife? does she expect you to be sexually active only with her (or with her in attendance)? do you expect her to be sexually active only with you?

No we NEVER discussed Fidelity......and NO she dont want to be in attendance......and yes she only wants to be with ME! But I am Bi and want to be with a man now and then and she knows that.....she dont like it, but she tolerates it.....But this is the first time I have had sex with someone else since we have been married. And I mainly did it, because I needed sex and her and I hardly ever have sex, I talk to her about it all the time and she said things would change, but never do. And I get tired of playing with myself!

Are you sure you're the only woman she wants to have sex with?

Have you talked to her about the difference in your level of sexual desire? was your level of sexual activity different before you were married (not who the partners were, but how often)?

You say she doesn't like that you desire men, but tolerates it. That suggests you've discussed this before - you need to keep talking about it.

It sounds like you have a lot to talk about with your wife. You may need professional assistance to get the discussion process started.

Get some help. You are cheating on your wife and hurting her. That is cruel.

PS - WHY did you get married to a person of one sex, knowing that you are not only BI, but would be unfaithful to whomever you ended up with? Yes, you are selfish - and may have a sex addiction.

Choices are choices. We make them or we don't make them. Sometimes the choices we make affect other people. Why is that different from a straight man, married to a redhead, saying "She has to understand I need a blonde now and then."? It sounds like you are using being "bi" as an excuse for doing whatever you want. Expect divorce papers sooner or later.

And you could have said NO if you still wanted to sleep with others. Obviously you don't want to be married, you just wanted to get married.

Of course not. But I do know what it is like to be in a relationship. It doesn't matter if the relationship is gay or straight or whatever. So now you are in a relationship and you don't like it because you are finding out that being in one means being faithful. Oh wait, maybe you misunderstood what marriage is. I get where you could be confused. Seems a bunch of people want to define marriage in any way that suits them. So I really do understand how you could be confused and not understand that marriage SHOULD entail faithfulness and commitment.

Don't be such a fool. People make choices all the time. I choose to be faithful to my wife, even though at times I am attracted to other women. I have a gay friend who chooses to be faithful to his partner (they cannot marry in SC) and so he is. So don't tell me you cannot make a choice. That is bullcrap and you know it.

Try harder. Millions of people are quite successful at it. You can be also.

YES I am sure I am the only one she wants to be with!! Our sex is about the same as it has always been.....except when we first met.....we had it all the time! I have talked about professional help before...but she has no desire.

I love her and she wanted to marry me knowing that I am Bi........I wanted to make her happy and I wanted to marry her too. So what am I suppose to do? Be single for the rest of my life?? Are you BI??? No one understands how a BI person feels and all the difficulties there are in liking both sexes.....it is really HARD to choose a female or a male....when you desire BOTH!!! And NO I dont have a sex addiction!

A man married to a red head and wanting a blonde is NOTHING at all the same as me liking pussy and dick.....BIG difference there!!!!! I am not using BI for doing what I want!! When you are Bi.....you are Bi......I can NOT change who I am!!! I prefer both sexes and I can not change that!!! Thats why I really need to find someone in the same situation to talk to!!!! Or atleast another person who is BI and knows what I am going thru!!

You have a GAY friend who is faitful......hmmmm........I am BI.......he is GAY meaning he like MEN only!!!!! That is easy to be faithful! Duh!!! I like men and women......big difference!!!!!

Don't be so stupid. I'm not saying or dismissing your attraction to men. But being attracted to men and choosing to have sex with someone outside your marriage are two totally different things. You are not some animal running around humping anything or anyone you want. You choose to have sex, even if you cannot choose your sexual preference. Sex is a choice. People who choose to get married make the decision (or should be making the decision) to be faithful to their partner. It makes absolutely no difference whether you are Bi or not. You chose to get married. And so you should have been choosing faithfulness. But no, you are a selfish bitch who wants the comfort of marriage while still being able to cheat on your spouse. I don't care if it is with a man or a woman, sleeping with someone not your spouse is cheating.

So don't come here using the fact that you are bi to try to justify why you should be able to cheat on your spouse. If you wanted to screw men and women at your convenience, then you should not have gotten married. Plain and simple.