9
   

Women, Problems, Dating, and being single.

 
 
Setanta
 
  2  
Reply Fri 25 Apr, 2014 03:27 pm
Huh . . . i think you're goofy . . . i never refer to myself as a chick.
Lash
 
  1  
Reply Fri 25 Apr, 2014 03:31 pm
@Setanta,
I think you're just not connecting with your rough-edged femininity...
0 Replies
 
Setanta
 
  3  
Reply Fri 25 Apr, 2014 03:55 pm
I get up earlier than The Girl, so at about the time she's to get up, i call up stairs and loudly say "Goooood Moooooorning." She always replies: "Hi, Boy . .. hi, Boy." These are not things which trouble us.
0 Replies
 
Setanta
 
  1  
Reply Fri 25 Apr, 2014 03:58 pm
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  2  
Reply Fri 25 Apr, 2014 04:05 pm
@Lash,
I don't think of it as neg, more a word surprise from my youth. Enjoy your using it, chica.

I'm so old that we did used to call ourselves girls, and you can see I still do, re my smartassgroup, somewhere on a2k.
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Fri 25 Apr, 2014 04:07 pm
So, re buttermilk, what's the deal?
Buttermilk
 
  1  
Reply Sat 26 Apr, 2014 01:38 am
@ossobuco,
Can you be more specific in your question?

EDIT: Nevermind I'm kinda giving up on this thread it was a mistake to pose the question. I see the "ladies" here got offended when I'm referencing the women in my own life, who I've met, as if I'm speaking about them or women everywhere.
Buttermilk
 
  1  
Reply Sat 26 Apr, 2014 01:39 am
@panzade,
Ok get over myself how? I'm the least arrogant person (perhaps you have yet to experience that) but I'm narrating what I've been told, I'm sorry that you took my words as if I'm being arrogant.
Buttermilk
 
  1  
Reply Sat 26 Apr, 2014 01:42 am
@PUNKEY,
What is "just like myself?" I've been a member on this board for approximately 3 days and many of you hardly know me, so I doubt your so-called assessment of who I am would but an accurate description. I don't want a woman "just like me"--GAH this was a worthless endeavor on my part to even ask.

I was very detailed on my problem
0 Replies
 
Buttermilk
 
  1  
Reply Sat 26 Apr, 2014 01:43 am
@ossobuco,
How am I generalizing women?

I'm quite clear
0 Replies
 
Buttermilk
 
  1  
Reply Sat 26 Apr, 2014 01:46 am
@Lash,
You know what? Forget about the thread, I actually made a mistake posing this question because either the people don't comprehend key phrases like "in my experience" or "women I've met" then this is a pointless endeavor.

First and foremost I do not, have not, and did not generalize women in this thread. All I have done was take the sum of my experiences and have narrated them down in this thread as something of a consistent issue in my life. I'm sorry you ladies took offense and somehow translated "my experiences" as if I'm saying all. Forgive me but I made a mistake in posing this question...Thanks for your participation. I'll probably just go out and have a beer with the fellas and just ask people I know outside chat forums.

Excuse the tone, but it's quite annoying that people took me saying "in my experience" as if I'm saying all women in (for example) the state of Rhode Island eact exactly like the women here in California. GEEZ for God's sake even scientific research has shown that people can make an analysis of common behavior of people based on sociological upbringing I don't see how I cannot make the same analysis about my own life?
Lash
 
  2  
Reply Sat 26 Apr, 2014 10:05 am
@Buttermilk,
OK. I know it can be tough to open yourself up to criticism by posting personal stuff online.

It's also easier to talk about similarities in the three Hispanic women you dated than discuss anecdotes about each one. I guess we can all find ourselves utilizing the shorthand of generalization devoid of nefarious motivations. I didn't think you did anything horrible, but it seemed to me based on your way of discussing them - that it is likely you don't meet women as individuals, and that made me think I had a bead on your difficulties developing romantic relationships.

So, don't feel unduly maligned. I understand your withdrawal from the subject.
chai2
 
  2  
Reply Sat 26 Apr, 2014 10:09 am
@Buttermilk,
Buttermilk wrote:

I'll probably just go out and have a beer with the fellas and just ask people I know outside chat forums.



That is probably a really good idea.

Then you'll be talking to people who know you, and the particulars of your situation more than we could ever know.
0 Replies
 
panzade
 
  3  
Reply Sat 26 Apr, 2014 10:25 am
@Buttermilk,
Like Lash, I understand the difficulties of presenting a subject like dating problems on a forum like this.

My M.O. is to probe the poster for underlying motives.

The exchange can be awkward and clumsy on line but it's my experience that when a single man complains about the scarcity of quality available dates, well...there might be an underlying reason.

My "get over yourself'" was meant more as an entreaty to examine your own motives and not as an insult.

You're a perceptive and articulate poster and I apologize for not mentioning that in my reply.

0 Replies
 
Buttermilk
 
  1  
Reply Sun 27 Apr, 2014 10:42 pm
@Lash,
It's not about being criticized, it's about reading what I'm saying without the gender bias, ask questions, then offer a strangers view. If I wanted to debate my life, I would've changed the tone of the discussion. I was clearly asking for an analysis of the situation, not a debate. It's one thing to criticize, it's another to criticize when it's unwarranted.

I clearly gave examples of prototypical personalities I encounter both intra-racially and inter-racially. so I can gave you guys a socio-cultural perspective. Anyway perhaps people here view posts with emotions first as opposed to reason.
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Sun 27 Apr, 2014 10:46 pm
@Buttermilk,
That is how I took it, that you equated your experiences with women everywhere.
You might too, if you reread.
Buttermilk
 
  1  
Reply Sun 27 Apr, 2014 10:59 pm
@ossobuco,
Um no...When a person says "in my experience" that lets me know they're referring to people collectively who they've encountered. Since you are not a part of my collective experience (since you and I have never met) quite obviously I wasn't referring to you or any woman here. Perhaps you should re-read. The moment you read "in my experience" you should have thought "OH GEE, HE'S NOT TALKING ABOUT ME."
ossobuco
 
  3  
Reply Sun 27 Apr, 2014 11:01 pm
@Buttermilk,
Your experience seems to put women into categories, that is plain in your text.
Buttermilk
 
  1  
Reply Sun 27 Apr, 2014 11:06 pm
@ossobuco,
Yes women "I've met." Just like if 10 men whose personalities are like "assholes" then obviously any personality I encounter reflecting that would be categorized appropriately based on my experience. Humans unconsciously make associations of unpleasant experiences to identify and avoid those experiences again.
anonymously99
 
  -3  
Reply Mon 28 Apr, 2014 12:57 am
@Buttermilk,
Quote:
So fellas and ladies help me out here what am I not getting?


The right attention.
0 Replies
 
 

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