Pl. help

Forums: Relationships, Family, Sister In Law, Mother In Law
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Hi, I'm visiting to India after 7 years. My side family is happy but my husband's side family is making excuses not me to visit India . My sister in law said that if you stay at my parents house, then they are going to hit me. My mother in law treating me bad way. She has 3 kids, 2 sisters and 1 son. She always listen to her daughters more. They made my life miserable.My husband is very supportive but he is younger in family and nobody listens to him. His mother said that you are not my son and never come to meet us, we have daughters and they will take care of us. and she made her will on both daughter's name. I'm bit worried as I have to go to mumbai and stay in MIL's house as I have to finish all our financial stuff. My husband can't go as he is not getting leave and can't spend that much time otherwise his job is risky. My mother stay far away in maharstra small villeage and I have to finish our urgent work. If not my MIL and SIL will use all our money. I'm confused and we are very strong but don't know how to handle the situation. My MIL and SIL never talk to my kids. We never call them but now I have a question, how should I deal with it as I have to finish my work keeping my mind strong.My FIL is nice but he doesn't have any power and can't say anything in front of his wife. My MIL did legal will and kept SIL as nomminnee. She is not willing to give any money to her son's kids. and told my husband not to keep any kind of relation with them. Can own mother behave like that with her own son? She is doing this because her brothers didn't take care of her parents that's why she keep on saying that my daughters are going to take care of them and not her son. We are giving money every month even though we are not getting single money from them. My husband calls them and then my SIL says don't call here as she stays with them. My SIl are married and they are 52 years old and having 1 daughter only. They both stay near to my MIL. Pl. help me. I'm worried to visit India now and I have to do my work. My SIL can hit me.

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Type: Question • Score: 3 • Views: 975 • Replies: 5

[+3] - jespah - 04/15/2014I'm failing to see the problem here. Your inlaws are saying not to visit them. They are nasty to you in all sorts of ways. So don't visit them. Does that make you a bad daughter-in-law?...

@pakman,

I'm failing to see the problem here.

Your inlaws are saying not to visit them. They are nasty to you in all sorts of ways.

So don't visit them. Does that make you a bad daughter-in-law? Absolutely not.

Go visit your mother and get your work done and have a lovely time, and don't give your inlaws a second thought. Will they gossip and complain about you? Count on it. But here's a secret - they will do it no matter what you do. There is just no pleasing some people, so don't even try.

Have a wonderful time with your mother.

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@pakman,

you have to weight your choices and if you come up with more bad than good with the reasons why you are even bothering with your in-laws let it go. Life is to pecious to let anybody take that from you. I understand that you want his family to like or get along with you and him but that is not the case. If you really do not need to go stay home. There is to much negative going on in his family. Do not allow anyone to rent space in your head that is not paying rent, in other words STOP letting them get you crazy. you have a choice today, choice to be strong as a woman and not let people who do not care anyway get you so worked up. I hope this helps

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Thank you for the reply.yes but I have to stay at their place only since file and everything is at their place. I need help of my father in law as he knows everything. Our money and everything is stuck . My Mother in law is not giving single money to her son and son's kids and giving her flat to her daughters still should we provide money to them? My husband is feelling that he is orphan. Feeling so bad.How to tackle this situation. I know you may not see the problem here.but it is a big problem. We have to think about our kids. We did not get single money from them. Whatever we did, we did it our own. My husband is an engineer and I'm naturopathic doctor.

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WHY do you give them money when they are so abusive to you?? She has her daughters. She does not need your husband.

Your obligation is to your children and your husband's obligation is to you and his children.

Stop obeying these people and find your own housing. If they ask why, tell them that you and your husband are being disrespected.

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@PUNKEY,

She needs the file and information from then. I would consider consulting with an attorney in your local area in India, and perhaps one in the U.S., if that is where you are - the U.S. attorney possibly specializing in this kind of cultural/legal matter.

In the U.S., no one is legally obligated to give children an inheritance, and that may be the same in India. Still, a consultation or two might not hurt.

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Pl. help

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