20
   

Should the elderly be able to have a strip show?

 
 
Linkat
 
Reply Wed 9 Apr, 2014 11:38 am
So this nursing home had a strip show for the residents. Some son saw a picture of his mom stuffing a dollar down a strippers underwear and is suing. Can't the elderly have any fun?

The Long Island nursing home striptease that caused an uproar among its patients' families was really the idea of the facility's residents, a lawyer told The New York Post.

"The home has an activities panel of 16 people -- residents -- who actually voted to have this event," Howard Fensterman, the attorney representing the East Neck Nursing and Rehabilitation Center in West Babylon, told the paper. "They welcomed it, and it looks like they had a good time."

He said the residents pitched in $250 of their own money for the dancers.

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2014/04/09/lawyer-says-new-york-nursing-home-residents-voted-to-bring-in-strippers/?intcmp=latestnews
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Type: Question • Score: 20 • Views: 3,061 • Replies: 51

 
chai2
 
  5  
Reply Wed 9 Apr, 2014 12:43 pm
@Linkat,
I read the comments accompanying the story, and agree with them, with a caveat.

Unless one of the residents had severe enough dementia or alzheimers or the like that they were unable to give informed consent, the people who live there have every right to this legal activity.

I've worked in 2 different nursing homes, and loved working for the elderly. The mantra is "I work where you live, you don't live where I work."

The residents all have their personal stories, have lived long lives with their own sexual experience and preferences, and thoughts on all subjects under the sun. They aren't babies, they are adults.
contrex
 
  3  
Reply Wed 9 Apr, 2014 12:55 pm
I don't see what grounds the son would have for suing, as long as his mother was (as she sounds to have been) willing to participate.
Linkat
 
  5  
Reply Wed 9 Apr, 2014 12:58 pm
@chai2,
When I was in high school I worked in a nursing home. I used to help prepare food and serve it to the residents. Many had specific diets -- low salt, sugar, etc.

We were supposed to give the meal according to their diet restrictions. It was a pain in the a$$. You have these grown adults that want potato chips for example and I wasn't supposed to give it to the low salt residents. Imagine a teenager having to refuse an adult something they want.

One low salt resident would have a friend that sat next to her give chips to her low salt friend. We were instructed to take them away. I drew the line when this friend handed the chips off and the low salter proceeded to hide the chips in her bosom. I ain't going there.

There were some that were not with it - but most that came to the dining room were pretty much with it. Those that went for the entertainment stuff were those that were more with it and more mobile.

I would imagine that those on the "entertainment committee" were the "with it" types. I can't imagine the dementia or alzheimers would be capable of even deciding or choicing entertainment. At least from my prior work experience.
Linkat
 
  3  
Reply Wed 9 Apr, 2014 01:14 pm
@contrex,
He is upset his mom is having fun I guess.
0 Replies
 
chai2
 
  3  
Reply Wed 9 Apr, 2014 01:25 pm
@Linkat,
Re the diet stuff.

I would absolutely refuse to take away from an adult something they wanted to eat, and where capable of making their own decisions.

That's no different than if someone came up to me and whisked away my choclate cake, or the chips I was eating.

In addition, for what real benefit?

Let's say I'm 85 or 90 years old, and have high blood pressure. What the hell is a low salt diet going to do for me if I don't want it?

Am I going to live an extra week or month at this point in time?

Am I supposed to live that extra week, month or God forbid a year wishing every time a meal arrived that I wished I had choclate cake?

Now I have to live with the perhaps even more detrimental emotions of anxiety of sadness that I can't even have a piece of cake, or a bag of chips?

One of my favorite people I had the honor of knowing was Mrs. Odetta Hamilton. She had been dipping snuff since she was 9 years old "My auntie taught me how" she told me. Mrs. Hamilton was in her 90's at the time and this was back in the early 1990's. She had been born into a poor black family and had been picking cotton and scrubbing clothes on a washboard since she could walk. She lived though the civil rights movement, had 2 husbands and some children die before she did and through many other things I don't want to think about.
They were always trying to convince her to give them her snuff because "It's not good for you."

Before me, she'd spend her small monthly allowance from Medicaid on her snuff, then have to sit and suffer the rest of they month.

I bought that lady all the snuff she could want out of my pocket, and told her they had increased her monthly money, and would have to worry about it any more.

I'd rather have 3 months of doing what I like than 4 months of living a restricted existance at that age.
Linkat
 
  1  
Reply Wed 9 Apr, 2014 01:39 pm
@chai2,
It was so stupid -- and being a 16 year old girl not letting an 80+ year old woman have a damn bag of potato chips. It wasn't worth the minimum wage salary they paid me.

I remember Rita -- another low salt that loved hot dogs. She was able to get her doctor to say it was ok for her to have hot dogs.

Funny thing is they didn't really restrict their wine when they had happy hour. It was given via these volunteer ladies (we couldn't give out liquor). I remember one happy hour these residents were having such a good time, they wouldn't leave to come have dinner. That caused a ruckus with the food service manager (guy was such a jerk anyone) - he kept announcing over the loud speaker for them to come to the dining room. I thought it was great they were having a good time.
roger
 
  2  
Reply Wed 9 Apr, 2014 02:01 pm
@chai2,
chai2 wrote:

The mantra is "I work where you live, you don't live where I work."


That should be engraved on some peoples foreheads.
0 Replies
 
chai2
 
  2  
Reply Wed 9 Apr, 2014 02:16 pm
@Linkat,
Linkat wrote:

I remember one happy hour these residents were having such a good time, they wouldn't leave to come have dinner..... I thought it was great they were having a good time.


Babe Pazullo.

Lemme tell ya, that lady could cut a rug.

Her daughter came to visit from out of state, and told me what wonderful, fun parents Babe and her father were.
She remember as a child them literally rolling back the rug in the living room so they could dance to the music on the radio.
0 Replies
 
joefromchicago
 
  1  
Reply Wed 9 Apr, 2014 02:42 pm
I think part of the problem in this particular case, aside from grandma getting palpitations watching a scantily clad gigolo shimmying like his sister Kate, was that she was stuffing bills in his scanties despite the fact that she wasn't allowed access to her cash account. Maybe it was Monopoly money.
chai2
 
  2  
Reply Wed 9 Apr, 2014 02:48 pm
@joefromchicago,
So what if it wasn't real money?

As far as palitations, what a way to go.

Her last memory a good lookin' guy get up close and personal.

No mom, you sit in that chair and have absolutley nothing happen around you that could make your heart beat faster from happiness.
0 Replies
 
roger
 
  3  
Reply Wed 9 Apr, 2014 03:16 pm
@joefromchicago,
It's a nursing home, not an Alzheimer's/dementia facility. Why would she not have access to money?
Linkat
 
  2  
Reply Wed 9 Apr, 2014 03:26 pm
@joefromchicago,
That's another thing -- why doesn't she have access to her own cash -- I would think that they should have available some on hand cash.

I know when my hubby's grandparents were having issues where he had to become trustee for them - grandmom was very sick and had alzheimer's - he took over their financial bill paying and so forth as granddad never paid a bill. What he did was have on hand cash available - not so much that granddad would give away the ranch - because he would to anyone who would ask - for example local minister come in trying to get whatever cash he had (did happen) and they needed for their care. Any way hubby made sure he had money just so he could get whatever he wanted.

To me doesn't make sense if it is their money to have some on hand.
0 Replies
 
joefromchicago
 
  1  
Reply Wed 9 Apr, 2014 05:56 pm
@roger,
roger wrote:

It's a nursing home, not an Alzheimer's/dementia facility. Why would she not have access to money?

I'm sorry, you must have mistaken me for the person who reported the story.
roger
 
  4  
Reply Wed 9 Apr, 2014 06:50 pm
@joefromchicago,
I apologize. I have no idea why I replied to one of your posts.
PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Wed 9 Apr, 2014 10:13 pm
My mother's nursing home had all kinds of entertainment: musicians, animal shows, even a belly dancer. She came at least once every 6 weeks.

Everyone liked it. But they couldn't remember much afterwards.

I always envied my mother's living-in-the-present-moment time. She seemed very happy.


JTT
 
  -4  
Reply Wed 9 Apr, 2014 10:57 pm
@roger,
Quote:

I apologize. I have no idea why I replied to one of your posts.


Dementia?
0 Replies
 
chai2
 
  2  
Reply Thu 10 Apr, 2014 10:02 am
Ok folks.

Things are really getting out of hand.

Just LOOK at what this 70 year old Dutch woman was "allowed" to do for the first time.

There oughta be a law I tell ya.....



Yes ma'm, your hair is still ok.
0 Replies
 
Joseph Dabon
 
  1  
Reply Sun 7 Sep, 2014 08:53 pm
I once had a lady doctor friend who was taking care of her very old mother. Innocently I asked her what she is feeding her Mom. She told me everything she wants. "But are you not supposed to control her diet?" I innocently asked. She calmly told me that she gives her mother whatever she likes, whatever that makes her happy. Shouldn't we all treat seniors that way?
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Mon 8 Sep, 2014 06:26 am
@Joseph Dabon,
Yes.
 

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