3
   

I stalled, missed my chance; need to do something bold!

 
 
fireface
 
  1  
Reply Sat 29 Mar, 2014 01:03 pm
I guess I got word that she may be moving from a mutual friend. If that is certain, I don't know. If so, maybe it's after the summer, I don't know. I'm speculating.

I've lurked here before... where's PUNKEY?

It's great to see some rational perspective. Indeed, I can't really have hopes for anything, I just want to play out the hand I have. I want to be bold without seeming desperate.
contrex
 
  1  
Reply Sat 29 Mar, 2014 01:21 pm
@anonymously99,
anonymously99 wrote:

You weaken me.


This is good to know. Perhaps soon you will be quiet.
anonymously99
 
  -2  
Reply Sat 29 Mar, 2014 01:28 pm
@Krumple,
Quote:
Actually EVERYONE is the same. We have innate psychological behavior that underlines our "WILL". How we behave is based on experience and reactions to past experiences. The reason we fear rejection is because thousands of years ago, being rejected meant your death. It is inbred into us to seek acceptance. So this causes social fear. It also means if a potential mate doesn't accept you then chances are none will and ultimately your genes will not be passed on. Well today we really don't have to worry about being cast out unless you really become an outcast legally. But you still need to learn how to cope with these innate behaviors. Everyone is the same, regardless if you want to accept that or not. Some have learned how to over come their social fears while others haven't. That is the only difference. And to be honest, you really never get over them, you just learn better ways of dealing with it.


There's more to it than that you psycho.

Yeah. We're all the same human figures that happen to be full of ****.

Psychological matters. Get better and/or worse with time.
0 Replies
 
anonymously99
 
  -2  
Reply Sat 29 Mar, 2014 01:30 pm
@contrex,
Quote:
This is good to know. Perhaps soon you will be quiet.


I can only hope. But it's not my decision. It's their decision.
0 Replies
 
anonymously99
 
  -3  
Reply Sat 29 Mar, 2014 01:32 pm
@fireface,
Quote:
I guess I got word that she may be moving from a mutual friend. If that is certain, I don't know. If so, maybe it's after the summer, I don't know. I'm speculating. I've lurked here before... where's PUNKEY? It's great to see some rational perspective. Indeed, I can't really have hopes for anything, I just want to play out the hand I have. I want to be bold without seeming desperate.


Get the **** out of her head!
anonymously99
 
  -1  
Reply Sat 29 Mar, 2014 01:38 pm
@chai2,
Quote:
I agree with you ehBeth. I have met people from online that I just as soon wished I hadn't. Do I regret it. No. Regret is a much bigger thing for me.
The thing is, you (and me) knew in our minds we didn't want to meet them. We should have gone with our minds, and either not done the nice thing, or be convinced. I guess some could call that a regret. I reserve that word for bigger things. Something that is unrepairable. I feel more of "well, that was a waste of time" and gets me back on track. There's been few times I've gone ahead and done something that still has repercussions in my life. That's what I call regret.
This person wants to talk to this person though, and if it doesn't work out, then no harm done. He can look back and say, "Well, I did it and I'm glad." Otherwise he might always wonder "what if"


Every disappointment is a learning situation.
0 Replies
 
fireface
 
  1  
Reply Sat 29 Mar, 2014 01:54 pm
I probably should note I was grotesquely overweight when I first met her. Now I'm a normal weight. I let my own self image matter. I recall the change started the day after I met her... Is this sounding weird? hmm
fireface
 
  1  
Reply Sat 29 Mar, 2014 01:56 pm
@anonymously99,
lol...
anonymously99
 
  -1  
Reply Sat 29 Mar, 2014 02:13 pm
@fireface,
You're an idiot. A man should never worry about his weight being a problem when it comes to a woman.
fireface
 
  1  
Reply Sat 29 Mar, 2014 02:19 pm
@anonymously99,
Indeed I am... but hey... thanks for drilling it in.
anonymously99
 
  -2  
Reply Sat 29 Mar, 2014 02:23 pm
@fireface,
Don't make me say I love you.
fireface
 
  1  
Reply Sat 29 Mar, 2014 02:26 pm
@anonymously99,
I love you too.
anonymously99
 
  -1  
Reply Sat 29 Mar, 2014 03:36 pm
@fireface,
You're just an idiot for refusing to understand. I'm sorry. But that's just the way it is.
0 Replies
 
Krumple
 
  1  
Reply Sat 29 Mar, 2014 04:56 pm
@fireface,
fireface wrote:

I probably should note I was grotesquely overweight when I first met her. Now I'm a normal weight. I let my own self image matter. I recall the change started the day after I met her... Is this sounding weird? hmm


ahh..

so you are saying she inspired you to lose weight? Or to take better care of yourself? Not necessarily a bad thing but if she is your motivation then what happens if it doesn't work out between you two? Do you toss in the towel and give up on yourself? Or am I reading this all wrong?

If you don't want to come off as being desperate, you shouldn't even be considering what to do next. You should just let it be spontaneous and adapt to the situation. All you ever need to decide is, do I want a stronger relationship with her. If you say yes, then let that direct you. If you don't then the answer is simple. You shouldn't be worried about what to say or what to do or how to act or when to do what.

Talk to her, joke with her, make her laugh, ask her out. The worst is she will say no.. but then you no longer need to wonder what to do next or what you should say next. If she says yes then what's with all the worry? When you try too hard to impress someone eventually you'll tire yourself out and they will see the real you and compare the two. It never ends good when that happens.

Just let it happen naturally, if you like her give her some attention, entertain her, have fun, make things interesting and she will like you back. It's not all that difficult. The problem is you are wanting to know what to do to eliminate all the risk. That is not very attractive. Take a risk, always take the risk when it comes to relationships. The "pay off" is always worth it even if they reject you. A person who rejects you is NOT a bad thing. You don't want to be with someone who doesn't mesh with you from the get go. Many people refuse to accept that and want to force the person into liking them. These are the marriages that end after a year or two.

0 Replies
 
anonymously99
 
  -2  
Reply Sat 29 Mar, 2014 05:10 pm
@fireface,
Quote:
so you are saying she inspired you to lose weight? Or to take better care of yourself? Not necessarily a bad thing but if she is your motivation then what happens if it doesn't work out between you two? Do you toss in the towel and give up on yourself? Or am I reading this all wrong?


Less stressed, more happier individuals have a tendency of losing weight. 

Quote:
If you don't want to come off as being desperate, you shouldn't even be considering what to do next. You should just let it be spontaneous and adapt to the situation. All you ever need to decide is, do I want a stronger relationship with her. If you say yes, then let that direct you. If you don't then the answer is simple. You shouldn't be worried about what to say or what to do or how to act or when to do what.


He's either in love with her or not. If he's not he needs to leave her be. I'm sure she's fed up. I would be.

Quote:
Talk to her, joke with her, make her laugh, ask her out. The worst is she will say no.. but then you no longer need to wonder what to do next or what you should say next. If she says yes then what's with all the worry? When you try too hard to impress someone eventually you'll tire yourself out and they will see the real you and compare the two. It never ends good when that happens.


Honestly. Just leave it be.

Quote:
Just let it happen naturally, if you like her give her some attention, entertain her, have fun, make things interesting and she will like you back. It's not all that difficult. The problem is you are wanting to know what to do to eliminate all the risk. That is not very attractive. Take a risk, always take the risk when it comes to relationships. The "pay off" is always worth it even if they reject you. A person who rejects you is NOT a bad thing. You don't want to be with someone who doesn't mesh with you from the get go. Many people refuse to accept that and want to force the person into liking them. These are the marriages that end after a year or two.


By now, it's usually too late. Take my advice. You seeing her will help you let her go more easily. Trust me.
0 Replies
 
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Jack of Hearts
 
  4  
Reply Sat 29 Mar, 2014 08:31 pm
@fireface,

Yo bro, if you don't swing your bat, you're never going to hit the ball!
Give it your best cut and go for the fences. If she laughs in your face, who cares? It's not like she will be around long.
anonymously99
 
  -4  
Reply Sat 29 Mar, 2014 08:39 pm
@Jack of Hearts,
No worries JH. I believe the male species will "grow up" one day.

0 Replies
 
anonymously99
 
  -3  
Reply Sat 29 Mar, 2014 10:44 pm
@fireface,
Quote:
I probably should note I was grotesquely overweight when I first met her. Now I'm a normal weight. I let my own self image matter. I recall the change started the day after I met her... Is this sounding weird? hmm


I believe you are a guardian angel and for some reason I have been feeling, felt, feel you and I could never be. I don't understand my feelings. The reasoning for them. I feel vulnerable. Weak. I feel I can tell you anything. And I've just spoke of my feelings. Love in many ways. Love you in a mature way. Meant it. I find it respectful, I feel in my heart it is respectful. My feelings for you.
0 Replies
 
anonymously99
 
  -3  
Reply Sat 29 Mar, 2014 11:01 pm
@fireface,
Love if you believe and trust in my words, what I speak and if you are starting to feel my feelings then you are getting closer to understanding who I am.
0 Replies
 
 

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