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All by myself for the first time...

 
 
suzy
 
Reply Mon 26 Apr, 2004 07:59 pm
I'm moving this weekend because my last little chickadee is fleeing the coop Sad So it's time to downsize. I have never lived alone before, although these last few months have been pretty close to it, as my youngest works second shift. It's been kind of an empty nest since the two of us moved into this house anyway. I'm excited, but it's also a little weird. Bittersweet, I guess. I'm not looking for a pity party (this time) Smile just some words of wisdom. How do you eat right when there's nobody to cook for, is one question I have. (I've been doing a lot of takeout lately, don't wish to continue that).
Many parents look forward to this day; I never have. I really enjoy my offspring and like having them around. I wonder if it's harder when there's no spouse to keep you company? I love my solitude, but not if it's never-ending! I don't want a room-mate. I'm not good at living with someone I didn't actually create!
Eh, I don't know what I'm asking, I guess. I'm being forced out into the world, all by myself, at the tender age of 44 Smile
I miss my babies!
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Individual
 
  1  
Reply Mon 26 Apr, 2004 08:20 pm
You have my blessings. And as long as you stay on A2K, you will never be lonely.

But we all know how physical loneliness is the worst, so get yourself a significant other. Or, if you're in an apartment, you can sublet to some very interesting people.

Good luck!
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cavfancier
 
  1  
Reply Mon 26 Apr, 2004 08:21 pm
My mother took a job outside the city, and is there most of the week. She hates it, and she misses my dad, and the kids, myself and my brother, even though we have totally separate lives, and have for years. It IS tough. Apparently, she has a great, beautiful condo there. I'm going to do the duty, and go up there soon to spend a few days. I know it's been tough for her. Tell you what, don't indulge in eating crap! Learn to cook for yourself. Between shopping and cooking and learning, some time will be occupied. I'm the pro, as you know, so ask me for any advice in that area, should you want to. Wink
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dyslexia
 
  1  
Reply Mon 26 Apr, 2004 08:22 pm
you will learn to eat leaning over the sink.
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panzade
 
  1  
Reply Mon 26 Apr, 2004 08:24 pm
I've got some suggestions!

Keep real busy volunteering and such, take tennis lessons, find an indoor pool and swim once a week or more,practice being Slappys biatch, make dinner dates at least twice a week;low key stuff...that's what I'd do.
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cavfancier
 
  1  
Reply Mon 26 Apr, 2004 08:25 pm
Well, aside from being Slappy's biatch, panzade's suggestions seem pretty sound to me as well.
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roger
 
  1  
Reply Mon 26 Apr, 2004 08:32 pm
Awwww.

You'll cope Suzy. I don't know when or how, but finally, you will.
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suzy
 
  1  
Reply Mon 26 Apr, 2004 08:33 pm
Well, Slappy already has a ho, so that's out! Sad
hahaha!
I can cook, I just can't seem to do it just for myself.
And I am busy; I have 2 jobs, so I'm mainly concerned about when I'm in the apt. all by my lonesome, night after night
(except for Thirsty Thursday, of course)!
I don't think I want a significant other, at least not yet, but I'm kind of old for slutting around, sigh. Sad What's a girl to do?
I am thinking of joining Habitat for Humanity or something like that, but since I work weekdays and every other weekend, I would prefer something in the evenings. Maybe a community ed class or something?
You guys are great! Thanks. Cool
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cavfancier
 
  1  
Reply Mon 26 Apr, 2004 08:43 pm
Consider digital cable, or satellite TV, so you can watch endless hours of crap you never thought you could have...erm, on second thought...maybe not healthy. Laughing Now a DVD player....movies are indeed a fun time-killer when you can pick 'em yourself.
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littlek
 
  1  
Reply Mon 26 Apr, 2004 08:52 pm
Hey Suzy, I live right around the corner (well, I dunno really, I live in the same state anyway). We do have gatherings here and there and we go to Quincy for movies every once in a while....

There are lots of volunteer opportunities here in the Boston area. I think taking a class is a great idea!
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suzy
 
  1  
Reply Mon 26 Apr, 2004 08:54 pm
Become a couch potato? Smile
I did that the first month after we moved in here.
To my surprise, even that gets old!
I do like to read.
Maybe I'll put myself on some kind of schedule.
Monday night, laundry. yuk.
Tuesday night, cook a meal
Wednesday night, something?
Thursday night, Thirsty Thursday Smile
Friday night, cook again
Saturday, work or call family members, write letters, visit real world, whatever
Sunday, work or, eh, maybe cook.
Wahoo, let the fun begin. Yuk. Confused
But then again, I didn't have internet that first month, either, so maybe I will keep busy on A2K etc. Just sit here at my computer, night after night, growing rounder and paler each year.
Agh, I'm feeling sorry for myself.
And I should be packing!
Thank you thank you thank you again. You guys may keep me sane after all!
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suzy
 
  1  
Reply Mon 26 Apr, 2004 09:08 pm
I always get lost in Quincy, always!
No sense of direction (and I drive a lot for work, nice mileage checks:)) But I'll try anything a dozen times! Eventually, I figure out where I am because I've been lost there a couple times before.
Probably I would take a class at Assabet or Keefe tech (I'm in South Valley now). I would love to learn tennis, but maybe volleyball is more my style! I love a crowd, always have.
I will definetly join you for one of those gatherings within the year, though, or at least I plan to. I have a self-esteem/confidence/mood issue thing sometimes if I overthink things before doing them.
I'm in Brookline a lot; Washington Square, (fun place) but I'm working when I'm there.
And I italicized instead of underlined my Wednesday! Sheesh. I don't have OCD or anything, but I'm gonna fix that now!
4 more days!!!
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Montana
 
  1  
Reply Mon 26 Apr, 2004 09:09 pm
I feel for ya suzy. I'm 40 and still have never lived alone. My mother, my son and I share a home, but I know eventually, I will wind up in the same situation as you are in and I'll probably feel just as strange. (((Hug)))
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colorbook
 
  1  
Reply Mon 26 Apr, 2004 09:23 pm
Think back to the days when your children drove you crazy...and you thought, "if only I could have a moment alone by myself." Well, here it is, enjoy it for a little while. Working two jobs should keep your mind off being lonesome...and who knows, somehow your family may end up moving back in with you again.
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littlek
 
  1  
Reply Mon 26 Apr, 2004 09:23 pm
You can, when you're feeling up to it, do singles volunteering. They do stuff like serve meals at soup kitchens and prune trees on the Charles. I still haven't done it....

I get lost in Quincy too. Just ask Quinn, she lives there. I still get lost in Boston too. But, Somerville I am starting to master - about time!

{thinking: what's the South Valley....?}
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Craven de Kere
 
  1  
Reply Mon 26 Apr, 2004 09:26 pm
Re: All by myself for the first time...
You've got the pad to yourself now.....

You know what that means.

"Do a lil' dance..."
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littlek
 
  1  
Reply Mon 26 Apr, 2004 09:27 pm
perfect avatar for that post, Craven.
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suzy
 
  1  
Reply Mon 26 Apr, 2004 09:42 pm
haha!
The sad thing, is, they can't move back, since I'm downsizing; from 8 rooms to 3. I have no choice, financially. My youngest makes almost the same salary as I do, so he'll be okay. The middle one (21) moved out before we moved out this way, and he's done alright. I squeezed room & board out of them from their first jobs on, (just like my mom did to me!) so they're good at paying the bills. My oldest moved out about 2 years ago, and now lives with his fiance' in another state. (I'm gonna be a mother-in-law next year, Smile , have to hone my evil persona)
I've gone from a gallon and a half of milk a day to less than a half-gallon a week. Life is weird. I'm not ready! Montana, I have dreaded this day for so long... It is hard.
I never heard of "singles volunteering!" I don't know if I could do it! I'm just a couple towns west of Natick, littleK, very close to Woonsocket, RI.
Yeah, I'm looking forward to that little dance, if nothing else! Soon's I find a dance partner.
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littlek
 
  1  
Reply Mon 26 Apr, 2004 10:15 pm
Suzy, sometimes dancing alone is more fun (we are talking about dancing right?)
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Craven de Kere
 
  1  
Reply Mon 26 Apr, 2004 10:55 pm
Sure we are. Wanna dance? <leers>
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