Thoughts on gay marriage

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When the gay marriage issue first surfaced here in Massachusetts, I thought historically and legally marriage is a contract designed to protect the financial interests of the parties to the contract.

The other day, I thought about my late mother in law who told me once that were she a young woman, she would always opt for marriage over living together because if you just live with the man, you as woman can not get his insurance. I thought is it marriage or prostitution? But those straight men in the legislature must know that women in the past may have married for insurance and other financial considerations. Why would they deny those same considerations to gays.

More recently, I have thought about the cultural meaning of marriage: committment, continuity and sexual continence. Gosh! If gay people want those things, they are to be congratulated to being well within the Western Cultural orbit.

And they lived happily ever after . . .

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I agree with you, and am happy to hear your views on the subject.
This is all a bunch of religious and right wing crap! Marriage is not religious unless you want it to be.

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Whew! I thought this was going to be a thread bashing gay marriage.

That's four for four for it.

I personally don't care what one person does with another person in the privacy of their own homes. So long as it's consensual.

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While the classic definition of marriage is one man and one woman, I don't feel that having two people of the same sex violates the spirit of marriage, regardless of the nature of their genitalia. If one person is willing to commit- mind, body, and soul- to another person, and honor that commitment, then I believe you have a marriage with integrity.

Hmmm....did I just say that. Confused

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What is the problem?

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ossobuco wrote:

What is the problem?

LOL! It seems my Ying and my Yang...my Id and my Ego are in conflict, that's all!

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Doglover, I really meant that as a response to the original question, in some jest since I think the problem is with people not accepting gay marriage.

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Sorry osso. Sad

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Nice to read all of your responses. I think opposition to gay marriage is a tempest in a teapot and those people opposing it really need to find something more constructive to do with their time. Knitting is nice.

A friend asked me yesterday if I got a message on my answering machine about going down to the state house to ask for removal of the judges who said the anti-gay marriage measures are unconstitutional here in Massachusetts. He resented what he called junk phone messages and wishes he had been home when the message came. He doesn't understand how a ban on gay marriage protects children, as the caller claimed. What about children of gay parents?

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Exactly. I am a woman, married to a man, and we have a child. We have good friends who are gay. We stay with them when we travel. Their relationships do not threaten us in the slightest.

I got an e-mail from an uncle yesterday. He is a minister. He knows I've been involved with Christian groups that provide family services. He assumed (WRONGLY) that I would want to know about and participate in the drive to stop gay marriages. I set him straight. I hate it when rightwingers assume that all Christians have the same agenda.

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Marriage is a personal issue between two people. Gay or otherwise. And although I am very much heterosexual...and Christian......I oppose the government sticking their nose where it doesn't belong. Why should gay people have a different set of laws and rules than heterosexuals? I never could understand that. Is it just because the bulk of society doesn't agree with their way of living? Rolling Eyes

It's no ones right to judge anyone else.

As far as gay people raising children.......I have no problem with that. Being heterosexual does not automatically make a good parent. Therefore, parenting skills are not limited by someones sexual preference. I do not believe that children being raised in a home with gay parents......means that child will grow up not being able to make his/her own mind up about their own sexual preferences.

~Brooke

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Many many people have no "experience" or meaningful relationship with gay folk. Just lastnight I was at a meeting to discuss being gay in the church - it was a great event one of love, understanding, peace, and grace.
I have two perspectives:
1. the political (to many polarizing groups)
2. the human as an indivdual (need compassion for differences)

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Eva wrote:

Exactly. I am a woman, married to a man, and we have a child. We have good friends who are gay. We stay with them when we travel. Their relationships do not threaten us in the slightest.

I got an e-mail from an uncle yesterday. He is a minister. He knows I've been involved with Christian groups that provide family services. He assumed (WRONGLY) that I would want to know about and participate in the drive to stop gay marriages. I set him straight. I hate it when rightwingers assume that all Christians have the same agenda.

Perhaps that's one of the reasons why I'm so accepting of it. When I was a very young lad, my parents raised and showed cats. They met a couple there that was gay. They became close friends, and often we would go up from Oregon to their house in Seattle and spend time with them. So at a very young age I saw my parents treating them like their relationship was normal. Probably they treated it normal because it is normal.

I can't think of a time where my parents didn't have friends that were gay. Of course, after moving back to SF (we only spent three years in OR) it's to be expected....

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Just for the rcord, in case anyone doesn't know already - I'm all for gay-marriage. I have no real comprehension of why anyone would deny gay couples to marry. Persoanlly, I care only about gays being treated equally under the law.

My brother is gay and he didn't really think much about any of this until it became a public debate. He's never really been in a situation where life-long committment was a possibility. Now he's POd. A wonderful promise of freedom and equality dangled in front of his nose only to be tarnished by extreme-right hatered. And then to have such a large percent of the population seemingly against the whole idea makes him, and no doubt many others, feel like ****. Hello, 10 percent of us are gay - one in ten people are gay. Cheney's got one in the family. Probably everyone has one in the family. How rude can ya be?

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I must live in a strange universe. Well, California is, many of us came from - at least within the last few generations - a monolithic type socialization, but in California there is a fair amount of mixing taken for granted. Yah, I know, not across the board.

I don't know ANYBODY among my friends, even here in my new town, who has a problem with gay marriage. Yes, of course, I am in denial re the folks who aren't my friends, so never mind, re validity. Still, my business partner and her husband and I look around and can't understand the numbers re opinions/voting various ways in the US, including about this issue.

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I belive that much more interesting (in a meaning of debate) question would be should gay couples be allowed to adopt children (without doubting that gay couples can be wonderful parents, but having in mind that in many societies children CAN have problems because of that, and laws help very little if, let's say, 6-year old has to cope with twenty other 6-year olds teasing him/her because he/she has two dads or two moms). Because I think we have kinda mutual agreement when it comes to marriage Smile

Btw, I am from Croatia, Here gay marriages are still not allowed, but law recognizes gay couples...I am now bit short of english terms Wink

so I'll try to explane it - this means that gay couples have same rights as non-married couples living together. E.g. if one of them dies, other is his/her legal inheritor (hope that's a right word)

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Back in the day, kids used to get made fun of if their parents were divorced. it doesn't happen anymore because it's not so uncommon. people's attitudes slowly change when they see that their fears were unfounded. It will be the same for children of gay parents, I think.

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I believe in religious tolerance and in the separation of church and state... I think that should tell anyone my views on the matter.

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I hope that you are right suzy, I am just not so sure...
Well, I am not so sure at this moment, but you are right...with time...I just don't know how much time....

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Thoughts on gay marriage

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