Chemistry Connection is Overwhelming

Actually he is the perfect person to give you insight. You want to stay in your marriage - so you should ask someone that has been successfully married for 32 years and never cheated.

If you want to not stay in a marriage then talk to someone that cheats and disrespects his family without a care about them.

Have you at all talked with a marriage counselor?

You probably have this urge with this one woman because she is the only that seems to want you.

Oh by the way this is coming from a woman's perspective.

Dude, don't cheat on your wife. Talk to her, take her out to dinner, wine her and dine her a little or do whatever it is that she needs to be happy. Cheating is not the answer. I'm not saying you're situation is easy, yes we all have sexual needs and it's hard to ignore them or go without having them fulfilled, however cheating is not the answer. It's dirty and will bring you down a nasty road and all you'll have to look back on is a few times that you had sex with this other woman. She'll have problems with her life, you'll have problems with yours. Her SO will be hurt, yours will be hurt and your child will be hurt. The risk is not worth the reward. Always take into account risk. Go take care of yourself in the shower until you can figure out why you and your wife are having problems. Look at yourself as well, just because you want it, doesn't mean you are doing the things she needs to be in the mood. Somebody else mentioned is she tired, overwhelmed with the child etc.. Health problems can lead to low sex drive, etc.. Work at this, don't act on your urges with such high risks. Marriage is hard, but you made the commitment. Now be a good man and follow through on that commitment. Your wife doesn't owe you sex, but she does owe you the opportunity to talk about your concerns just like you owe it to her and you both owe yourself TONS of work.

It sounds like you are trying to get permission to have an affair.
You have rationalized it by saying you are sexually frustrated by the missing passion in your marriage. No wonder you are turned on by this other gal! She's really stroking your . . . er, ego.

Sorry, but you are going down a bad path about this need for sex and attention. It should be coming from your wife.

I think you need to take your wife away for the weekend and let her know that you are not happy in the marriage. Tell her why.

We just have your side of the story. Let us know how it all turns out

I might begin to understand. I'm a woman in case my user name is confusing.

But regarding you two, neither she nor you seem to have heard of depression after child birth - it happens fairly often - plus all the issues that can come after it, even without depression.

It seems to me that you two could be helped by talking straight to each other and looking for counselling. With any luck, she might have a good doctor, gynecologist or pediatrician, and gain some insight from them.


I don't mean to be insulting, but you seem to take her present NO as an eternal type thing. It might be or not. You two need to talk.

Meantime you are attracted to another.

Most of us here will recommend highly that you work out the marriage first.

Oh, No!

He should cheat on his wife, screw a woman who is getting married, then try to look at himself in the mirror. Plus, his wife WILL find out about this, and she will leave him. And the other woman will have nothing to do with him.

Sometimes ya just gotta let people be wrong . . .

most of the people responding to you on this thread are women

~~~

Have you talked to your wife about the differential in your sex drive?

Was her sex drive different when you first met? if so, when did it change?

that's just good old-fashioned bullshit

a great effort to rationalize cheating but it's bullshit

I've done that..

I hope that all of us have had or will have propulsive lust at some point(s). Timing may vary. Usually pre marriage.

The bad news is that this doesn't always zip into 40+ year love. Sometimes it visits.

Figure out what you want.

Don't hang your mate up while you figure it out and **** around. Much less the baby.

Partners always find out. Body language, a change in the spring in the step, no desire to even try for sex with your other half, a new shirt, a new dress, different make-up, not coming home at the usual hour, smiling more, higher phone bills. I could go on but you get the picture. You would have to be one of the most smartest person in the World to pull that off don't you think? The plotting, researching, thinking, constantly to ensure "no chance of partners finding out" became a reality.

It's a fair call that people are pointing out regardless how they are pointing it out, that you are "not thinking" read the above.. Can you pull that off? Because if you can't, you do lose your child, you will lose your wife, income, all for some intimate passion, not love, just passion.

Do you have to beg your wife for sex? No. But, she's probably had enough of feeling as if that is all she is, in the bedroom, just a piece of meat for sex.. If you find it hard to comprehend why she doesn't want it, look closer because it's all there in black and white. Take responsibilities when was the last time you kissed her for no reason, not for sex, just no reason. Told her she looked good, cooked instead of her, took her out for dinner, bought her a dress and told her to put it on you are going out and not wanting anything in return? When was the last time you two laughed.

Look, if you seriously look back at the beginning of your relationship you'd remember the passion. If you looked at the current situation of your relationship you'd see it's mundane. Boring. It takes two not one to make a relationship.

It is more than selfish to be heck bent on acting on a fantasy because you want to blame your wife. AND, when she finds out and she will, you will blame her and tell her it's her fault you did it.. That to me is gutless .

Yeah...I don't think anyone could argue decently with you found soul...you've got the scent of the trail. Good comment.

Thanks Germlat, appreciate it.

I found myself in similar situations and what I learned is that I really wasn't so overwhelmed with the thought of the other guy but overwhelmed with the thought of just having sex. It could have been with anyone. What I should have done was seduce my husband at the time and that would have cured my desire. The guilt wasn't worth it.

if your wife is unwilling or unable to be sexual then she should not stand in the way of you having sex outside of marriage. she should however have some say between a mistress, prostitutes, or casual hook ups. If she refuses all then you choose, and dont tell her anything, as she had her chance to be honorable and went the other way.

So Hawkeye, you answered based on "she the wife doesn't give out" Or enough and so, he should do what he wants to and not tell her. Ahhha.

Did you even bother reading what he has written?




1. So what about this woman's fiancé doesn't exist huh.



Why is he not interested in Divorce costs money doesn't it and forget love, he just wants sex.




That good ol think with thy other "head"



So why the hell did he get married? Can't you honestly visualise this "wifey" give me sex.. I want sex. No I want love. Well bad luck I want sex. Well I want a Divorce .. Hell no it will cost money..




So seriously? Let's not look at what he may be doing wrong, may be a lousy lover or only wants sex or is boring as a fart in a bathtub such a yawn and he thinks playing with some little thing and then trying that on his wife will re-energize it. I'd say it will cause suspicion let alone further hurt, gawd now he wants to try a different position but still not give me what I want.

I

Because society says we shouldn't except for Hawks.

Yes me too, I loved my chemistry set as a kid, I used to make kool stuff like deep blue copper sulphate crystals

I'm a little disappointed you haven't posted any graphics yet...are you under the weather?

I hear all of you....still bewildering that people are out here responding to a cheating forum with such high horse attitudes. I am looking for someone that has gone through this, been in this position so we can share those thought. ANYONE can just hammer another person and say...hey stick to your marriage, work on your marriage, completely ignore your physical feelings that are overwhelming....

No one is asking you to stick to the marriage. Actually divorce is better than deceiving someone. It's about the golden rule. It's about not screwing your business partner, about not screwing over those you promised your trust, about coming through without being unfair to others who are giving you all they have.. Surely you get it. It's much bigger than screwing over the person who has placed full confidence in you and has made every decision about her own future according to her faith in you.