I tried that fireman outfit with puppy trick, but it didn't work for me.
I walked around for several weeks, and rather than attracting ladies, they seemed to be repulsed.
Maybe next time I'll try it with a live puppy.
I'm glad you wrote in Gus. Puppy has to be alive. Got it.
I went out today and there was a guy out there with a bucket full of turtles. That seemed to work very well. He seemed to be very popular. I still think the puppy idea (alive if possible) is the best though.
Gus took my joke.
But if you go with the fireman thing, make sure you refer to your "hose" a lot. When you are slapped, show that it was all a big misunderstanding by dropping trou and showing them your control-tops. This has been getting me action for years. Granted, it's action in the county jail, but it beats staying at home and watching Survivor, y'know?
By the way, I'm assuming it would probably go better with a live baby too, right?
Naw, chicks just see that as a hassle. Dead babies are waaaaay easier to deal with.
This sounds like the beginning of a great joke. A fireman walks into a bar. He's got a puppy in one arm, and a dead baby in the other . . .
Cinn, that is a great point. I can use the fireman outfit to talk about my "hose", and the dog to bring "wiener" into the conversation. Excellent.
I still can't think of an ending to that damn joke, by the way.
Any puppy at all is good. Corgi puppies are finest.
One of the highlights of a late friend's later life was when he was walking his akitashepherd, Hogo, down McCarty Drive just outside his house (he was rather frail and the dog was rambunctious) and... Candace Bergen pulled up her car and got out (I think) and admired the dog. This was a key event, he already adored her from afar. I swear, he lived a year longer because of it...
I've been out of the loop for over 15 lifetimes, and I get a feeling what may have worked back then is passe now.
Yeah, and true. It made him soooo happy.
Well, HG was always attracted to big dogs. Well, not always. He was raised in an orthodox jewish household in Chicago and became a nonreligous intellectual. Why do I mention this, well, he did, when saying they had never had pets. I don't myself know if one precludes the other, but he alluded to that. Somewhere along the line he taught at a college in Massachusetts: thinking, Brandeis?
There was a peculiar dog that hung around their house and he fed it, what, I think hot dogs, by hurling them out the porch and down the steps, and it hung around some more. It proceeded to walk with him and his children to the school bus and meet them after school, even if he didn't accompany them after a while.
After a time, it turned out that the kids were playing with other kids and the funny dog bit a boy that was hitting his son, and that boy was the son of the police chief. Dog destroyed.
HG called him the wolf, and he was at least part.
So HG, who had never before been around dogs, now loved big wolfy ones. And his walking the robust Hogo down the street when he was in his seventies was a venture at all times. Whoa!
Very touching for me to tell here.
How the hell you worked that story into a thread about dead babies and dead puppies and firemen exposing their "hoses" to complete strangers is completely beyond me, Osso.
But thanks for sharing.
The problem with the baby and a claim to be a single father is if you ever get even a little serious with the woman. How do you explain all of a sudden no baby? Also, some women may not like the idea that you have a child. How often would you be freed up to spend with her, you already have someone that is a first priority, etc. I think it would be better if you claim you are baby sitting for a relative or friend and describing how much you just love children. You could even throw in something about what a great guy you are helping out and that you help out babysitting all the time. Bonus - you sound like a wonderful caring thoughtful guy who loves children without any of your own baggage. Can't miss.
The widow thing also could act against you. Perhaps a woman may be concerned that you loved her so much and would compare her to you. Also, if anything even got remotely serious, again how do you explain away there was no dead wife.
Or maybe your wife's death was, you know, your fault.
Uh, Gus, my story was about a dog as a help in attracting women. The addendum was just an addendum.
Darnit, I am going to have to simplify things for you now.
Perhaps if I bring up capybaras...
Kickyc, if you were trying to meet a woman like me, and I can only speak for myself, since I have no idea how other women really think.......forget the uniform and the baby, but bring the dog. And remember to interact with it in a playful and loving manner. And bring an interesting book, maybe something current and controversial or obscure and semi-intellectual. Make eye contact. Be alternately interested in the book, what's going on around you, and keeping the dog safe. It's never advisable to take candy from strangers, but unwrapping a bar of organic dark chocolate would reinforce a good first impression. And no smoking.
