Reply Wed 4 Dec, 2013 05:02 pm
I'm fine enough with married people promising to never wander for the rest of life, though I don't believe that is usual re occurrences, at least mental wandering. I've fooled around a lot but in marriage, not at all. And, so what? But I figure wandering at least in mind is common.

But now I'm inundated (since I read threads) by teens talking about cheating. Oh, and older people too.

This makes clear to me that people think if you are enamored, perhaps momentarily, and have a good time, and go out or in again a few times, that you are cheating if you are interested in another person. Say, another fifteen year old or 25 year old.or later.

I take it now that people are assuming possession rather early. Or, acting so.
I'm so old that if you wanted our commitment, you committed.
This a philosophical change.

I do get actual commitment. Sort of a millical.
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Type: Discussion • Score: 4 • Views: 2,036 • Replies: 21
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Germlat
 
  1  
Reply Wed 4 Dec, 2013 06:48 pm
@ossobuco,
I'm not sure if you're trying to ensnare a young lady or disregard an old man's transgressions. Please clarify.
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Wed 4 Dec, 2013 06:57 pm
@Germlat,
I'm talking about an onslaught of teens posting about other teens cheating.

You, Germlat, are not the only relationship poster here recently.

If you want clarifying, you can look most of us up by clicking on our usernames, thus seeing our profiles.
Germlat
 
  1  
Reply Wed 4 Dec, 2013 06:59 pm
@ossobuco,
Sorry, not trying to usurp your status..simply posting my lame opinion.
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Wed 4 Dec, 2013 07:12 pm
@Germlat,
eh? you're asking if I'm trying to ensnare young ladies. I suppose that is not usurping status.

In any case, I'm more interested in the general question, which is that are teens now, more than before, hoping for commitment, even just after first experiences? If so, that worries me - but I don't know that it so, which is why I ask.
Germlat
 
  1  
Reply Wed 4 Dec, 2013 07:19 pm
@ossobuco,
Not trying to bait you either believe or not. I was raised to think that biologically and sociologically a woman's aim is to have a stable enduring relationship (regardless of education level). I don't see that changing soon. After all isn't that the realization most come to at some point.
FOUND SOUL
 
  2  
Reply Wed 4 Dec, 2013 07:38 pm
@ossobuco,
Hard to tell Osso.

I think regardless of era, all young girls want their boyfriends to be faithful and visa versa.

I am still convinced that boys hang onto young ladies as not to lose them to someone else, whilst secretly wanting to stray, just because they are young and feel that they are missing out.

I have chatted to quite a few teenagers on the other Forum I am involved with, over the years, not for some time mind you.

Cheating through all time, is a given, be it emotionally, physically and do you class watching porn and getting off as cheating? Some women do, visa versa, the personal touch and denying your man, is that cheating? I would say so...

The Devil is always around to get you Smile

I do agree that as we mature to a certain age, we are looking for long term partners that we can grow old with and they accept all of our warts and all, it's a friendship with love and commitment. I think a person can go the mile when older as they have been there done that (not talking of cheating in that regard) well emotional maybe.

Germlat
 
  1  
Reply Wed 4 Dec, 2013 07:42 pm
@FOUND SOUL,
I agree with you.
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  2  
Reply Wed 4 Dec, 2013 08:17 pm
@FOUND SOUL,
I'm a woman of the sixties and early seventies, and I had more than one lover in a period of time over the years, usually not, but sometimes, and none of us felt bad about that. I slept with whom I wanted to. There was a big fear of commitment from men going on back then, so the girlfriend group was having agita' about that. Once I married, that was it, never occurred to me to fool around, actually committed.

That may be hard to believe now - things seem so different.

Now when I read the relationship threads, people seem to think they own each other at the slightest engaging. (He texted me..)
I get it within marriage, but even then you don't own the other person, you have understanding.

Germlat
 
  1  
Reply Wed 4 Dec, 2013 09:21 pm
@ossobuco,
No culture is necessarily better just different. All have issues to contend with
Germlat
 
  1  
Reply Fri 6 Dec, 2013 02:23 pm
@Germlat,
It's easy to judge feelings when you are not invested emotionally in a relationship. Really do easy to play Russian roulette. But when you care ...completely different story
0 Replies
 
saab
 
  1  
Reply Fri 6 Dec, 2013 03:06 pm
Wish I could find the article again.
Women start having sex earlier than their mothers and grandmothers
As an average a woman has had about 8 lovers
There are more singel women now than earlier.
They are having sex less often than their mothers and grandmothers.
CanĀ“t remember what was being said about cheating.

timur
 
  1  
Reply Fri 6 Dec, 2013 03:12 pm
@saab,
Your are probably referring to this article:

Secrets of the average woman's love life
PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Sat 7 Dec, 2013 01:07 am
I think that anytime someone tries to conduct a relationship by texting, there's going to be problems. Texting misses all those social skills needed in order to interact with each other: voice inflection, tone, facial expression, body language, etc.

I think we are going to have at least 2 generations that are not going to know how to interact with each other in person. Sad.
0 Replies
 
saab
 
  1  
Reply Sat 7 Dec, 2013 01:23 am
@timur,
Thank you .... that was it.
0 Replies
 
hawkeye10
 
  0  
Reply Sat 7 Dec, 2013 01:43 am
@Germlat,
Quote:
. I was raised to think that biologically and sociologically a woman's aim is to have a stable enduring relationship
strange, I have always thought that the goal was to get the best sperm possible, and to support the offspring. thing is with young women doing better than men economically they need a stable relationship with a man less than ever.
0 Replies
 
hawkeye10
 
  0  
Reply Sat 7 Dec, 2013 01:47 am
@FOUND SOUL,
Quote:

I think regardless of era, all young girls want their boyfriends to be faithful and visa versa
from my kids experiences it would seem that young women are possessive, they intend to control their men, and get pissed off when they fail at this. I see that women are screwing around on the side more than ever, it seems that women expect to have sexual contact with other women and with men but they expect BF to be chaste.
hawkeye10
 
  0  
Reply Sat 7 Dec, 2013 02:32 am
@hawkeye10,
i would be looking to see if the fragility of the egos of our poorly raised youth is the explanation for the alleged behavior. todays youth tend to be spoiled idiots. this carries consequences.
Germlat
 
  1  
Reply Wed 11 Dec, 2013 03:15 pm
@hawkeye10,
I don't know our parents thought that of us too. Generational differences are difficult to contend with
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Wed 11 Dec, 2013 06:19 pm
Maybe it was the era or the place, but most of us in my milieu in those years didn't make promises fast. (On the other hand, when I did, I did it fast.)

When I read relationship threads, sometimes I think promises/fast is almost the entirety of the problems showing up there.

I remember, not to knock her as a person, Elizabeth Taylor. I don't know a thing at all about her mind set, but my opinion way back then, was that she thought if you had sex you must marry.

pause

or be a slut.
 

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