Back to this, I've read and understood that at length too, but I didn't think that way.
Something to do with vocations days at my small high school. You could be a nun, you could be married, or you could be a woman of the world. Since I wanted to be a doctor (long story), and couldn't get into a school back then anyway because women would only quit since they would just go and marry, I figured I had to be a woman in the world. That was slightly before I signed up to be a postulant with my school's nuns.. later left, never picked up the shoes. 1959.
I admit I wanted an enduring relationship. I don't think that is somehow my reason for being.