Is he cheating?

I've always been the one with the higher sex drive...I usually initiate sex. He doesn't ever need beg..believe me. My colleague / friend was very supportive and we spoke several times a day...my husband would never be able to take that on. He is more of an intellectual and really has no friends. It is difficult for him to understand that type of relationship. He has also been jealous of my family at times.

He will state I was going to retire anyway and what would be the point.

Sometimes we do things that we "need" to do, so that we can move on and not live with it, because it's too late.

Even if he said that, "you are going to retire in a year", after 25 years together, one would think he would understand the need for closure in that regard, if that is what you need.

I feel some circles here. Then why aren't you initiating the sex, that he has to ask for it?

You are also suggesting that your colleague was very supportive and you spoke to her several times a day.. Suggesting that your husband was not supportive, if he is emotional and you've suggested that too, sounds to me more like he thinks your outing him.. Preferring to talk to others and not initiating anything anymore.

He suspects your cheating.
You suspect he's cheating.

See where this is?

You need to sit down and talk.

about more than who is sleeping with who. how is this relationship going to work through the golden years?

He is more of an intellectual. He's never been one to help out with the emotional stuff. I accepted this from the beginning ..so I don't blame him. Still I Have always sought comfort from others if I needed more...family, friends, etc. I accept him the way he is..he never pretended to be different than he is. I'm ok with that. But accusing me of being a lesbian?! Wow. Maybe he just didn't understand my need for support and I knew not to go to him. As far as sex. ..I usually I initiate. I've never desired women. And I've had to fight my nature a few times since my sex drive is higher than his.

They've had 25 years but



Hear this all the time, mis- matched sexualities..

But, then... I always think if you ponder having someone else, then you can't be totally happy with who you are with, there are ways, as you know to not think in that way... Now is not the time to discuss your sex life Hawk

I agree. Otherwise we wouldn't be together after 22 years but..why the huge change. I've always known people can change. I will never try to shame or guilt someone into loving me..it can't be done. Either your heart is in it or it's not. All I want is honesty . Yeah..it would hurt like hell if he wasn't in love with me anymore..but I would let him go with a full heart.

I'm good with my sex life so you know.

Gosh..I feel this way myself sometimes. But then others I feel differently . Please ask your questions. You do seem to have insight.