Is he cheating?

How do you know that, where you live?

Yes still married.. He bought me a beautiful ring for our 20th year anniversary..also he always wants me to travel with him on business trips..I'm confused

That's ok.

Well, do you think that he might be trying to do all of this, to make you jealous, or to see him as a real man? You are basically claiming that he has a jealous streak to him, by suggesting that you may be interested in a Woman

I pick up stuff not making sense - and moving along to memories of a poster a lot of years ago who had a lot of us walzing up the wazoo.

sounds like he wants you but you are not much fun to be with right now. Why did you quit? if it had to do with mis behavior he might be disappointed with you but you two dont have open enough communication for him to say this.

mostly what this sounds like is turbulence with in yourself cascading into your relationship. more information is needed however.

Yes

Yes I a,

I have been with him through thick and thin. There's was a time when we lost everything due to him and wasn't sure if we'd get it back..I never mistreated him. Does it boil down to fun...and yeah I'm still fun at times .

did you screw up the career or not?

You really have a decent perspective but have you read my posts. There have been a lot of firsts this year. He even struck me for the first time.

I did without intention

You may be right but I don't understand where this could come from. I've always thought of him as a rock solid man..never has been a great communicator though..his great sense of humor has always moved us through

How did you react to him when you felt that "he" lost everything . Now you've lost something yourself. Life is like that, we are human, he sounds like a risk taker, after all he did get it back...

Yes

My point exactly. I supported him financially and through his emotionally troubles. I wouldn't have left him even if he had not been able to obtain another professional job. I love him not his job.

Sorry my first time on this forum..please see my answer to your question above.

" that is what I would do so that is what he should do" is not how relationships work.

Like I said, it becomes insanity trying to guess, and in that, you come up with a million thoughts...

But, "he" thought you had a lover, a woman... .Why?

Ok, if you believe that he "knows" you were there all the way, didn't care what so ever about losing everything, encouraged him to do it again with your help, then it's not about you losing your job, or business or what ever it was that you were doing.

And, he again. Is asking for sex, sure it's not spontaneous as you wish for, but when someone asks? 1) They want it from you and 2) They feel that they have to ask.

Again, why?

And, honestly the answers should come from him so you know where you are heading.

I think you need help and need an attorney of stature and should investigate that.

Since your are still married, I assume there are things to talk about with a lawyer, that can be billed. Please at least talk to a good attorney in your area.

I happen to believe I should be loved with the same level of forgiveness and solidarity..I don't believe this is wrong..I still have self-respect.