approaching girl in group, ask her out

Forums: Relationships, Dating, Friends, Asking Out
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Bonjour,

There's a girl I'm rather taken by. She knows of me and probably that I like her, we've talked briefly before. I've seen her around school, we've shared eye contact (I caught her staring hard), but I lacked the courage to formally approach her, all the while thinking she was never interested because she never responded to a casual message online.

I might see her around once or twice more before classes are over and I graduate, so basically over the next two days. If I don't ask her out, to something casual, I think I'll regret it for sure.

She's often just out of reach, walking with a group of girlfriends. Never exactly approachable from her line of sight. For example, today I came out of the elevator and she was about 15 feet away walking by.

I don't want to be rude or catch her off guard around her friends. What's the best approach, or acceptable? I have to put myself out there as confidently and casual as I can. That may be difficult to do so, however.

Just go for it by any means? Please advise. Thanks

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Type: Question • Score: 8 • Views: 2,573 • Replies: 28

@sportomatic1,

Excuse me, Susan, can I talk to you alone for a second?

And then just shepherd her to some place semi-private (just a few feet away is probably good enough), and ask.

Note - if her name isn't Susan, call her by her actual name.

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Quote:

Sportomatic said: I've seen her around school, we've shared eye contact (I caught her staring hard), but I lacked the courage to formally approach her, all the while thinking she was never interested because she never responded to a casual message online

Staring at you is good, but not answering a message is not good, so there's a 50-50 chance she likes you.
Maybe she never got the first message so try messaging her again.
And if she stares at you, smile back at her and give her a little wave.
Also try to catch her when she's not with her friends so you can say hello.. Smile

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@jespah,

I might go by script and call her Susan... ha.

Is a shout out fairish? I don't want to be rude, nor intrusive, but I might need to grab her attention. Getting her while she's on the move is the trouble.

1 Reply

@Romeo Fabulini,

I don't think she likes me, per se. Unsure, is likely the best word. All speculation regardless. I'd like to walk away knowing I gave it a shot, not hiding behind a keyboard.

I'll likely have to ask for a brief moment while her friends wait. ah... Or just ask her to coffee in front of the friends... Or offer to buy each of them coffee. Yikes

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Try stage-managing a meeting.
For example I used to arrange to be strolling down the street just as a certain shop closed for the day so i could "accidentally" bump into a lady who worked there.
Another time whenever I saw from my window the district nurse parking her car to visit a patient nearby, I'd go out and "accidentally" bump into her as she walked round the corner.
And many years ago in my early teens I used to go out and "accidentally" bump into the papergirl.. Smile

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@Romeo Fabulini,

weren't you just complaining in another thread that you could not get a date?

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@sportomatic1,

Heh!

You are not the first, nor will you be the last, guy to cut a girl out from the pack and try to talk to her. After all, if you needed homework from her, or you were in lab together or whatever, her pals wouldn't need to hear any of that, either.

I think it's fine, and we're only talking maybe 2 minutes at most. If any of her pals get upset about that, then, well, they're kinda over the top, eh?

Not Susan, huh? Dang, my powers of ESP are goin'.

1 Reply

Quote:

Rockhead said: @RF- weren't you just complaining in another thread that you could not get a date?

It was more a statement than a complaint mate, I said something like- "All the nice sensible angelic women are in happy marriages with doting hubs, and the only women left for me are an oddball assortment of divorced nuts and sluts, slags and bags".. Smile

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@Romeo Fabulini,

Nothing wrong with "an oddball assortment of divorced nuts and sluts, slags and bags." Wink

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@jespah,

Thank you jespah!

I'll go for it as you say. If she doesn't want to cut out for a moment and give me a second, then surely that is my solid-face-to-face-I-gave-it-a-confident-go kinda answer. Hell... I'm being negative. She's just waiting for me to confidently approach her. Wink

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@sportomatic1,

She's just waiting for me to confidently approach her.

good answer.

and good luck...

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@Rockhead,

Thank you. Wink

1 Reply

Yes you're bound to have better luck than I did when one of the first girls I asked for a date replied- "**** off and kill yerself you ugly b*****d"

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@sportomatic1,

And hey, if that doesn't work, you can always call her Susan. Wink

Best of luck to you.

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This sort of thing has been going on for years. I recently picked up a copy of this painting at a car boot sale.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/f/f8/Dante_and_beatrice.jpg

Dante has long fancied Beatrice, the lady in white, but he's been playing hard to get by pretending to fancy other women. Beatrice has found out what he's up to, so she's deliberately ignoring him, while her friend in red is seeing what his reaction is. The lady in blue is a servant which is why she walks behind the other two.

1 Reply

@Romeo Fabulini,

Quote:

It was more a statement than a complaint mate, I said something like- "All the nice sensible angelic women are in happy marriages with doting hubs, and the only women left for me are an oddball assortment of divorced nuts and sluts, slags and bags"

Whatta a way to talk of women. do you have sisters, or a mother? There are fewer woman getting married today out of choice -- making tons of money in their career is just one reason or having a career that takes her around the world representing her company. Another is changing lifestyles. A woman in America may have a baby without having to be tied to a cheating marriage partner out of custom. A woman might have a partner of the same sex. A woman might have seen the unhappy union with her parents and opt to remain single.

What kinda Christian are you? Show some charity towards humanity or at least towards women who are equal to men for without women there would be no babies.

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@izzythepush,

In this situation, I'm the one fancying the pretty lady in blue. I'm not Dante... Though I maybe stand on the corner as a creep like him.

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Beatrice and her chum look like snooty lezzies

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@jespah,

jespah wrote:

Note - if her name isn't Susan, call her by her actual name.

Always the details, eh Jes

0 Replies

approaching girl in group, ask her out

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