As a divorced father with a daughter (and no history of abuse), I can't imagine this working.
What You Can Do To Make It Work
This basically works down to one word: clarity. Here are some questions I encourage you to discuss with each other before you decide to live together after you divorce:
Is one of us still hopeful that we will reverse the divorce and save the marriage? Is this hope realistic? If so, let's get some counseling now. If not, maybe it's a bad idea for us to live together.
Will our living together delay (and therefore worsen) the grieving our children need to go through? If so, maybe it's a bad idea for us to live together.
What is our time frame? Have we already set a date certain for one or both of us to move? If not, how will we know when it's time?
If one of us wants to bail out early, will we allow that? How?
How will we pay household expenses? Is one of us required to pay child support or alimony to the other? If so, how will we make sure we obey the court's order?
What money will we share, and what money will we keep separate?
Who will have access to what credit while we're living together?
How will all this change if one of us leaves sooner than we planned?
How much of this are we going to include in the legally binding marital settlement agreement, and how much of it will be simply an issue of trust?
Is there a risk of common law marriage in our state? If so, what steps will we take to avoid it?
Is there any space in our home where one of us will not go, at least not without a specific invitation?
Are there other spaces in our home where we need to allow one of us exclusive use for short periods of time (like a bathroom or the kitchen)? Do we need to write down a specific schedule?
What approach are we going to take to dating? Are we permitted to bring a romantic partner into the home? When? Will we have some "ground rules" about what one spouse will do when the other brings a romantic partner to the house? How will the people we are considering dating react to our continuing to live together after divorce?
Is there anyone whose presence in the shared residence would create difficulty or hurt feelings?
Are we going to have sex with each other?
How will we describe our living arrangement to friends and family? Will we say one thing to some and another to others? How will we keep our various stories straight?
What other concerns does either of us have about this that Lee forgot to ask and that we haven't yet discussed? (Lee's note: when you come up with this, I'd be grateful if you'd pass it along to me.)
well the optimum age is 4. i know that if i put her in daycare, the medical bills will increase, she will pick up bad habits, her security will decrease, she will regress on her learning, she will regress and start wearing diapers all over again. (she has been out of them since 17 months because of EC) , behavioral problems. A study conducted by the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development, found that those who spend long hours in child care will experience more stress and are at increased risk of becoming overly aggressive, and lastly the main concern is my daughter is pretty shy and studies have shown that children who are shy do horribly in groups at this age, and their stress levels tend to be higher in a daycare or group settings without the parent.
All of this is a concern that my daughter will not be a secure adult, because of not being close and secure to a parent in a comfortable setting. The ability to learn new skills also will decline.
So it Jespah it isn't just because I don't want to put her in daycare, I definitely have reasoning behind it.
I'm just ... well ... trying to make things work with what i got. . . I don't want to be in a relationship with him, but right now it seems like it's the best option.
You're saying day care is not an option? If that isn't what you are saying, say something relevant.