A friend in need....

anon:

re: chickenshit

It takes a tremedous amount of COURAGE to admit to somone you have a problem, then to get help. You are on your way to getting some peace of mind...

Every day above ground is a good day! Keep up the good work! (((((HUGS)))))

PM resent. You call me anytime. I like to talk too.

Your significant other probably has some vested interest in you not getting better. He may be afraid that when you extricate your head from your arse - you may not like him anymore. He also may be afraid of what you as a couple will look like if you are no longer depressed.

I should have said you may not like him or her anymore- whatever applies.

I don't know if prozac has a wait time before it kicks in. Some others here on a2k might. Just to warn you it might not be effective absolutely immediately. But, hang in.

Actually, you may be a little more depressed initially. BE CAREFUL.

It should take about two weeks to show a sustained benefit.

Wish you'd let your doc know what you've decided to do. Once you start taking it, it is really dangerous to go off of it without the guidance of your doc. These things can play with your head, dear.

"Another reason is because my uh.. "significant other" told me that it was a "chicken s*it" way of dealing with my problems and that if I'd get my "head out of my arse" then that is all the medication I needed. But I'd rather be a chicken s*it than a junkie, I'm sure."
You're not gonna be a junkie if you take a prescribed anti-depressant. The medication simply replaces what nature didn't give you, that it gave everyone else. There's nothing to be ashamed of.
Prozac takes a couple of weeks to kick in, but is quite worth the wait.

Prozac and other psychotropic drugs like Zoloft, Wilburton, etc., take about six weeks to actually affect mood, depression but most people feel better after about two weeks.

Anon, I would recommend you see a psych doctor though for a thorough exam by an expert instead of relying on a non neuro doc. Really these medicines are quite powerful and can have dangerous side effects.

Perhaps your "Significant Other" is part of your problems? After the Prozac kicks in he definitely has a place on your To Do list--along with the kids' outgrown clothes and other trash.

First you get then energy--then he gets out of your way!

Hold your dominion.

The S.O.B (I think that's what I'll call him from now on, lol) is a huge contributer to my problem, the times when I was able to say no, he seemed to be able to talk me into going ahead with it. I guess I'm scared of being alone. My self esteem has never been the greatest, and I'm afraid of being alone for a long time...
I just woke up, and came here to A2K first thing. The strength and willpower I gain from you guys here is amazing. Thank you, and keep your fingers crossed for me.

Okay... I just called my regular doctor, and he told me to try the Prozac faithfully, and he called in an order at the pharmacy. I also contacted this counseling place. They said that they have a new associate starting next week or something like that that will be able to take my insurance, so it wont' cost much, if anything. However... she is a nurse practitioner who also does counseling... is that normal? They also said that they don't/can't prescribe psych meds. But if the prozac works, then that wont be a problem.... I'm really nervous and anxious here. Everytime I seem to trust people, I end up getting screwed in the end. I am worried that if I tell the whole truth, then bad things can happen... Ya know, I don't want to be put in a rehab or whatever, I can do this on my own... Nor do I want someone else making the decision on what is best for my children... I just don't know about this.

That all sounds greally encouraging, Anonymous!

I can't tell you how many times on A2K we have said "see a counselor!" and the person has said yes well but and hemmed and hawed... you went and DID it. That's great.

I think you can take it a little slow with the counselor; work out the trust issues first. Do what feels right/ comfortable.

Good luck!!

We're really proud of you, Anonomous! It takes great strength to make those calls. I hope you're proud of yourself!

As soz said, you have to work out trust issues with any counselor. But having one who is a nurse practitioner would seem to have definite advantages in your particular case. Please keep us posted here. We want to know how you're doing.

Anonymous--

Since so many of your issues have to do with male/female, man/woman relationships, I think that a woman will have a leg up on seeing your problems from your point of view.

Remember, the post graduate degrees do not necessarily indicate the quality of a counselor. I know a psychiatrist who should be unfrocked/disbarred/fed rat poison. I have known women with high school educations and good common sense who could help anyone get a grip on problems.

If your counselor feels that meds are indicated, she can have your family doctor write out the paperwork.

I'm with the other posters who admire you for asking for advice, getting advice and then acting on the advice, picking up the telephone and making arrangements to find some face-to-face help. Congratulations.

Of course you're scared. Change is scary and you've just decided to ditch the SOB, stop your self-medication and shape up your life. Scared shows some common sense--and going ahead with your plans to change shows a lot of courage.

Hold your dominion. Keep posting.

Good for you. I wish you the best.

Another thing pointed out in the article I mentioned earlier was that drug abusers frequently have a great deal more perseverance than anyone, including themselves give them credit for. See if you can figure out how much money you've spent on drugs and what you've had to do to get it. This exercise it NOT to beat yourself up for mistakes. Ignore the means and consider the effort. You may find that you've focused a great deal more energy towards trying to achieve your goals (drugs) than you've ever given yourself credit for. Typically; in our race to judge a "worthless junkie" we completely ignore how much time and effort is spent by said junkie to achieve their unhealthy goals. If you can separate the effort from the cause; you will likely see that you've already demonstrated an uncanny ability to focus your energy on achieving your goals. Take from this the well-earned self-confidence that comes from achievement, and use it to focus on your new goals. Think; "If I can do ____ just to get ____, than I can certainly do ____ to get _____."
Hang in there and keep fighting the good fight. You've faced steeper hills than this.
We're all pulling for you!

Great news Anon, you have taken the first steps. Remember to go easy on your self do the best you can. There is no right or wrong in this kind of things and it takes time (easy to say hard to do).

Remember to question both physicans and shrinks carefully to make sure they meet your needs and that you can work with them. And I would also like to take back what I said about only a shrink proscribing psychotropic drugs. A good therepist will know a lot about what type of drugs you should take and should not take. That person along with your regular family M.D. should be able to help you.

Captains Log: Day 3

Good Morning A2k! The people at the counseling place called back yesterday and told me my appointment is Thursday morning. I'm still pretty apprehensive about it. I told S.O.B. that I set up an appointment, he didn't even ask why I think I need therapy. *sigh* It's Saturday, so there's not much I can do as far as looking for a job or anything, and I'm a little restless. I was going to take the kids to the park, but it's raining. So I guess I'll buy a couple extra dozen eggs to color thn normal to keep us busy today . I can honestly say that I haven't had an "urge" the last couple days and have been able to stay focused on my goals, but the feelings of despair are overwhelming at times, and trying to convince myself that there is hope is getting harder. I think the key is going to be just keeping busy so I dont' have too much time to think about it.
God Bless You All!

You sound wonderful - great attitude.