I lost my key ring on Thursday of last week…my car keys, my house keys, and all those discount plastic things that you use at the supermarket. I was driving my aunt’s car…taking them shopping and had the keys to my car in my pocket. When we get home and I get into my car…no keys. They musta slipped out. Checked both my aunts car and my car very carefully…no keys.
I am almost certain I lost them at the supermarket…so I call there. Young Indian girl answers…if you can do her responses with an Indian accent, this becomes much more clear:
Frank: “I was shopping there earlier and I must have dropped my key ring with all my keys on it. Has anyone turned in a key ring with several keys and a bunch of supermarket discount plastics?”
Clerk: (quizzical voice) “You are looking for discounts?”
Frank: “No…no...no. I lost my keys while I was shopping there earlier and I was wondering if any keys were turned in.”
Clerk: (Honestly) “You want to come here to shop?”
Frank: (still very understanding and calm…and using a friendly tone) “No…I lost my keys while shopping there earlier and I am trying to find out if any keys have been turned in.”
Clerk: (Still, honestly) “Well how can I help you?”
Frank: (Actually continuing to retain some semblance of calm and sanity) “Look, I would like to leave my telephone number…and if anyone turns in a set of keys, you folks can call me and I will come and pick them up.
Clerk: (May I be struck dead!) “You want our telephone number?”
At that point I said, “Thank you”…and hung up. Used my aunt's car to go home and got a spare set of keys...then drove back to the supermarket. I spoke one of the women at the service desk (a young Indian girl was also behind the counter) and asked about keys that might have been turned in.
The woman treated my story as though it were an unnecessary and unwarranted intrusion on her free time; opened a drawer; shuffled around some things in it; and said, “Nope, no keys”…and then just looked away. She never offered to take a phone number in case something was turned in later (I wrote my phone number on a piece of paper and gave it to her anyway.)
No calls came over the weekend…went back early this week and checked…no keys turned in.
Your story was sad, Link. But….