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animosity,

I noticed something in your post...you said, "the guys i fall for arent particularly feminine and most r perfectly STRAIGHT LOOKING AND ACTING."

First thing...us straight guys are rarely "perfectly" anything. Smile

I don't think your dilemma is uncommon. I've known a number of girls who fall for gay men, particularly in their younger years...

I think this probably happens because most young men are fairly uptight/nervous around girls they find attractive. This can make them shy, obnoxious...Gay men generally aren't uptight/nervous around woman because there isn't the sexual tension between a straight woman & gay man that there is between a straight girl and straight boy.

Having Michael Jackson as your idol probably doesn't help your cause a whole lot - if you look at him as "perfectly STRAIGHT LOOKING AND ACTING" then I can see how you're getting into trouble Wink

Hope it works out for you...

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animosity--

Welcome to A2K. You don't mention how old you are, but I'd be surprised if you've had your 25th birthday.

Are you sure that you're not looking for friends as opposed to boyfriends?

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Noddy24 wrote:

animosity--

Welcome to A2K. You don't mention how old you are, but I'd be surprised if you've had your 25th birthday.

Are you sure that you're not looking for friends as opposed to boyfriends?

erm ... no i definitely KNOW WOT I WANT ... i'm not 12!!! i'm not looking for a best friend .. i'm also not looking for JACK from WILL AND GRACE ... my view of an IDEAL man is not one that is gay or that has gay attributes .. the reality is however that whenever i fall for someone THEY R USUALLY GAY ... i think its just my bad luck ...

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animosity--

I certainly didn't mean to hurt your feelings. After all, a twelve year old would not have graduated from high school.

My suggestion was that for some reason your subconscious mind is picking gay men. I like Jer's theory that gay men are relaxed around you whereas straight guys aren't.

You seemed to want to explore your motivation for picking gay men. That's what we're doing.

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I think it's perfectly normal for a straight female to fall for a gay guy. Why not? Some of them are hot! Real hot!

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Noddy24 wrote:

animosity--

I certainly didn't mean to hurt your feelings. After all, a twelve year old would not have graduated from high school.

My suggestion was that for some reason your subconscious mind is picking gay men. I like Jer's theory that gay men are relaxed around you whereas straight guys aren't.

You seemed to want to explore your motivation for picking gay men. That's what we're doing.

Thanks .. u didnt hurt my feelings .. its just that if it was as simple as me just looking for a friend ...i would have analyzed this to clarity already...i think it may have started out at some kind of safety net of sorts when i was younger (u know if theyre gay, then if things go wrong IT WAS THEM NOT U .. that sort of thing .. but wen i was younger i was attracted to the more feminine types ... now that i'm older i've gone TOTALLY off the feminine types but even when i fall for wot society would consider as a really STRAIGHT looking and cting guy .. he STILL ends up being gay .. its like sum kind of X-RAY vision i have for sniffing out the gay guys .. lol, its getting SCARY hehehehe

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Impudent and intrusive question from left field:

How do you get along with your father? What sort of man is he?

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Noddy24 wrote:

Impudent and intrusive question from left field:

How do you get along with your father? What sort of man is he?

I have an EXTREMELY good relationship with my dad ... we are very much alike .. think the same way .. both like the same kind of music .. often have philosophical debates ect .. i'm actually close to him than i am to my mum altho we do butt heads a lot of the time because we r so simmilar and dont always realize it ... only thing that i can think of that can be connected to this whole thing as regards my dad is that he has let me down emotionally a few times ... but that has just contributed to my distrust of men is GENERAL .. dont think it has too much to do with the gay man scenario lol ..... i mean its not like i'm NOT ttracted to straight guys cuz i am ... it just seems like more often they turn out to be gay.. the important thing is that i dont know whether they r straight or gay in the begining cuz as i've said .. they arent outwardly flamboyant or anything like that..so its a real let down wen i invest sum affection and then it turns out theyre actually GAY??

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Heh heh, when I was younger, I had a few women in my life who thought I was gay. It had something to do with being generally a good friend, listener and companion, but, on my part, being too shy to actually 'make a move' on them, even when I knew in the back of my head they were attracted to me. Anyway, I guess I'm just using this as an example to show that there ARE straight men out there for you with the same qualities you probably are attracted to in the men who turn out to be gay.

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Many gay men are excellent dancers. Maybe that's an attraction in addition to their bodies.

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cavfancier wrote:

Heh heh, when I was younger, I had a few women in my life who thought I was gay. It had something to do with being generally a good friend, listener and companion, but, on my part, being too shy to actually 'make a move' on them, even when I knew in the back of my head they were attracted to me. Anyway, I guess I'm just using this as an example to show that there ARE straight men out there for you with the same qualities you probably are attracted to in the men who turn out to be gay.

aaaaw ... hehehe thats sweet yea .. it could be ... maybe its an UNCONDITIONAL LOVE THING .. u know .. knowing that sum1 wants u for u ... not cuz they wanna get into ur undies .. or they wanna make a statement or sumthing ... lol .. or maybe its that i refuse to dat men who wear shorts !!! lmao and straight guys r ALWAYS wearin shorts ... as far as i'm concerned .. shorts need to be left for the sports fields or the beaches lol !!!!

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Cav, I think all those Cher posters you had hanging in your dorm room had something to do with it.

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Miller wrote:

Many gay men are excellent dancers. Maybe that's an attraction in addition to their bodies.

Erm .... noooo lol i dont think so . they gay guys i'm attracted to dont have particularly great bodies .. theyre just the avergae guy ... i'm not really the type to fall for sum1 uz they have a great body or cuz theyre good dancers lol ...

Its all about attitude and wit ... i like synical men with a touch of ignorance .. sum1 who looks like he's playing a game without much concern for whether he wins or loses ... someone really witty who takes no prisoners .. who drives recklessley .. is deep and most importantly .. DOESNT WEAR SHORTS lmao !!!!!!

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What's wrong with shorts?

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Thanks Slappy, but I prefer animosity's response. Plus, I never lived in a dorm, I lived off campus, with a gay roommate...who wanted to take me out to 'clubs' because he said they would 'devour me'....umm, okay, nuff said.

Ahem....back on topic, animosty, by "shorts" do you mean sports shorts, or boxers vs. briefs? All I know is that where I live, it gets pretty cold, and jeans, sheepskin coats, etc. are common come winter. However, I will NEVER wear long undies.

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Miller wrote:

What's wrong with shorts?

lol THEY R AWFUL! how can u take a man seriously that weras SHORTS??? little boys wear shorts! .. i'm s 20 year old law student .. wot the hell am i gonna do with sum1 in SHORTS ... "YO YO YO ITCH WUUUZUP HOWD U LIKE MY NEW SHORTS AND BANDENNA" is just not summin that appeals to me hehehehehehe

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You're a law student animosity? Hmm...I hope you don't write your 'briefs' like you post, heh heh.

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See: "'wanting what one can't have' and this predicament's allure in humans 101"

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cavfancier wrote:

You're a law student animosity? Hmm...I hope you don't write your 'briefs' like you post, heh heh.

lmao NO ... the internet is the only place i dont have to write professionally so i have a rule .. i dont fix typos .. i dont edit spelling errors and i try to talk the biggest laod of **** that has nthing to do with being serious ... cuz i'm serious 90% of my day lol ... oh and if u think i cant spell things like humour and honour ... lol .. I CAN TOOOOOO .. its just that i'm not american lol . and we spell that different here Razz

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